Girl Band, Gravity Capture

Page 44

After wandering aimlessly for a while with Wakaba Mutsu, who hadn't offered any opinions, the two finally arrived at a lakeside. Under the shade of the trees, they leaned against the lakeside railing and quietly gazed at the water, which resembled a swaying sapphire, its surface rippling yet perfectly calm.

A few anglers squatted scattered along the shore, holding colorful parasols. Every now and then, someone would shout with joy as they pulled up their line and took down a thrashing fish.

The splashing water from the struggling fish scattered rainbow-like stripes in the air, illuminating the radiant expression on the man's face. Hearty laughter echoed, drawing envious glances from onlookers.

However, such situations are rare. Most of the time, they simply wait silently, like wordless stone sculptures, frozen in the reflection of the lake.

Years of waiting, all for that moment of ultimate emotional release—the more suppressed, the more unbearable, the more intoxicating the final pleasure. Waiting is a human virtue, and patience is the wisdom of life.

Both Minamoto no Toru and Wakaba Mutsu are good at waiting.

Or rather, they are people who are used to keeping things to themselves rather than readily sharing their feelings with others.

Yuan Xudou has this mindset because he is always able to solve things perfectly, and he can live a strong and independent life without relying on others. A fulfilling state of mind can accept the kindness and companionship of others, increasing the happiness in life, without needing anyone to fill a non-existent gap.

His personality is a near-perfect ring; unless some flaws are first inserted into it and then removed, nothing can directly harm the boy's heart.

So, what caused the closed loop of resentment that he could sense in Wakaba Mutsu, whose inner world was far from perfect?

Genji turned his head away from the rippling lake, his dark eyes shining on Wakaba Mutsu, who was sticking out her pink tongue and licking the ice cream he had just bought for her.

She seemed to have a cat-like tongue, eating very carefully, and occasionally frowning slightly from the cold... However, judging from how earnestly she licked it, she must have been in a pretty good mood.

"Mu."

A gentle breeze swept over the willow branches overhead, the rustling sound mingling with the boy's soft voice, like a melodious concerto.

If the other party is unwilling to speak first, he doesn't mind starting the conversation himself.

"Is this a place where we can chat?"

The clear sky cast a slightly scorching sunlight, and if you didn't hide in the shade, you would break out in a fine sweat after standing there for a while. As a result, not many people lingered in the vicinity, and even those who passed by were mostly in a hurry, rarely paying attention to the two people facing the lake who didn't actively display their outstanding appearances.

The environment was tranquil and sparsely populated. The breeze blowing from the lake further alleviated the afternoon heat, and the shade was quite cool. If Ruoye Mu was still not satisfied, she would have to find one of those enclosed cubicles specifically for conversation.

Fortunately, the girl's reserve wasn't to that extent.

Upon hearing Yuan Xudou's words, she nodded slightly and quickly finished the ice cream in her hand. Then, she took out a handkerchief she always carried and quietly and elegantly wiped away the traces left around her mouth.

After that, she fell silent.

Seemingly hesitant about how to express what she wanted to say in the right way, Ruoye Mu pursed her lips in distress, her pale golden pupils unconsciously casting a pleading look at the boy.

"...Just say what you mean directly."

In any case, most of his interactions with the girl involved relatively little verbal communication.

As long as he can explain himself clearly, that's fine. As for the part about Ruoye Mutsu, let's just fill in the gaps with understanding.

"……Um."

She sensed the gentleness emanating from Yuan Xudou, a gentleness called "inclusiveness".

People who are so outstanding that they transcend mediocrity often slide into two extremes—looking down on all those who are not good enough, or being equally tolerant of those who are not as good as themselves.

Clearly, the boy belongs to the latter category—he is keenly aware of his own excellence, so he selflessly shares his brilliance and is willing to help those who still have shortcomings.

He was like that, and so was Xiangzi. The difference was that he was much more mature and rational than Xiangzi. He wouldn't impulsively give unsolicited advice on other people's lives, but rather subtly and gradually changed others in a gentler way, making everything better.

Ultimately, there's no real difference; they're all simply deciding how things will unfold according to their own will. Frankness and gentleness are merely outward expressions; whether or not they respect others' opinions cannot prevent them from carrying out their own decisions.

They were all unreasonable, dazzling, and blinding lights...

...However, for Wakaba Mutsumi, whose strengths all "originate" from others, that kind of toughness is just right.

Xiangzi is more of a guide, Xu Dou is more of a caregiver... both are good. But Yuan Xu Dou understands her and is gentler, so he's slightly better.

Compared to the upbringing she received, this level of assertiveness was merely a gentle caress. Moreover, she could genuinely feel care and consideration in the boy's requests, rather than taking everything for granted…

It feels good to be treated as an independent person who needs to be thanked and responded to.

However, nobody likes doing this...

Xiangzi regarded her as his other half, feeling that they were partners who needed no words and should help each other.

Her mother treated her as a tool to inherit the business, always demanding strict conditions from her, and even forbidding the girl from calling her "Mom," but only allowing her to be called "Minami-chan."

The public treated her as a substitute to continue their parents' image, labeling everything she owned as "Miss Wakaba." When people mentioned her, the first thing that came to mind was never "Wakaba Mutsumi," but "the daughter of Mr. Wakaba and Ms. Mori." The praise that resounded in their ears never truly referred to her.

Having grown up in such a childhood, Mutsumi Wakaba's sense of self has been washed away to a very thin degree.

Sometimes, she couldn't even distinguish whether her thoughts were genuine or feigned. She wondered if her actions were merely a performance to please others, like a puppet being pulled along on a stage, moving with agile yet stiff steps.

If you feel you should do something, you do it; if you feel you should say something, you say it. Then, the things you did and said had bad consequences, and you regretted it too late.

Body and soul seem to be subtly out of sync, personality and instinct seem to be at odds... The girl's spirit is like a doll pieced together from various fabrics, with a shattered fragment hidden beneath her delicate face.

Maintaining this fragile balance, the girl thought life would continue in this repetitive cycle until one day it completely collapsed and shattered into pieces, when she met Yuan Xudou.

Sincere, clear, and bright;

Changing, unrestrained, wondrous;

Words that speak directly to the heart without hurting others; words that easily understand others without making them feel awkward.

Sparkling yet silent and dim, gentle and friendly yet calm and restrained, not confiding in others, yet able to maintain a pure self.

Gazing at that captivating figure, her usually calm but crumbling heart gradually began to sprout an idea that was entirely her own:

No one is born contradictory yet perfect... Did he also hide his original self to become like this?

But it also seems like he can reclaim that purity at any moment. Unlike himself, who is almost forgetting, almost losing that kind of thing.

But... the original "Wakaba Mutsumi" should still exist, right?

Where did she hide?

Xu Dou...

"Can you help me find 'Wakaba Mutsumi'?"

Chapter Sixty-Two: "Mutsu" and "Wakaba Mutsu"

The moment that phrase was uttered, an eerie atmosphere, as silent as an abyss, quietly enveloped the two of them.

Just a step away, the sun shines brightly, and the temperature is scorching. But in the shadows, it seems to have turned into a rainy night with a biting wind.

Being asked by someone to "find herself"—if it's not a joke—already falls into the category of urban legend.

As if he wasn't quite used to that atmosphere, Yuan Xudou frowned slightly.

Then, his calm and earnest words, carrying the boy's unchanging composure, pierced through the gloom.

"Has 'she' disappeared?"

Without surprise, confusion, or even a moment's pause in thought, as if she were asking some trivial, normal question, Gen Xudou looked into Wakaba Muku's eyes and asked a question in a voice that barely changed.

In his eyes, the girl's condition was very strange at that moment.

The gilded pupils rippled like the tide, with fragmented shimmering light drifting along the edges of the darker irises, while the center of the eyes, which should have been dazzling, was dull and lifeless. It was like a golden flower withering from its core, about to fall and shatter.

An unnatural stiffness appeared on her delicate and elegant face. Her expressionless face looked even more indifferent, and the inorganic texture of her doll-like face was magnified infinitely at this moment, exceeding the limit of what could be called "obedient and compliant", and sliding into a darker and deeper state.

The balance that had been maintained shattered the moment that question was uttered.

But this wasn't because Ruoye Mu had given up on herself. On the contrary, it was precisely because she believed that Yuan Xudou could solve her problems that she sought his "help" by exposing everything about them.

Now, Wakaba Mutsu felt her senses and body gradually becoming disconnected. The girl's own consciousness seemed to have become an outsider residing in this body, quietly curled up in a corner of her mind, observing everything she saw like watching a movie, but unable to react any further.

All she could retain were the simple obsessions of "answering Xu Dou's questions" and "trusting what he said."

So, faced with Yuan Xudou's counter-question, a dazed Wakaba Mutsu raised her hand, her slender, pale fingertips lightly touching her chest, and answered in a calm, unwavering voice:

"She's hiding."

"I...can't find it."

Her voice was completely natural, without any hesitation. Even when she mentioned her own name, it sounded as if she were talking about someone unrelated to her, without any of the discomfort that a normal person would feel when mentioning themselves.

But it was precisely this calmness that made Wakaba Mutsu's state seem even more abnormal.

This symptom is almost bordering on a personality disorder... What is Xiangzi doing? All these years, has she not noticed anything about her best friend and childhood sweetheart's problem?

Yuan Xudou frowned, feeling somewhat confused, but soon he relaxed his brows and faced the girl with a less tense expression.

We can't provoke her now; we can only follow her thoughts and explore and guide her.

Why has Wakaba Mutsu become like this, seemingly having lost herself? What happened in her past...? There are no immediate answers to these questions, but Yuan Xudou, who has a vague understanding of the situation, decides to work part-time as a psychologist to stabilize her current state.

Why did 'Wakaba Mutsumi' hide?

"because……"

Ruo Yemu lowered her head slightly, her long, soft, light green hair falling from her forehead.

But the next moment, she suddenly raised her head, and the ends of her hair drew a shimmering emerald green line through the air.

"Since no one was watching her, she hid."

As if she had suddenly become a different person, the girl shed her former reticence and became talkative.

Ruoye Mutsu started counting on her fingers with a serious expression.

"Xiangzi didn't look at her, Minami-chan didn't look at her, everyone... and many other people, didn't look at her."

"Later, she hid herself. That way, no one could see her."

It was told casually and lightly, as if it were someone else's story.

"And what about the usual harmony?"

"Ah...that..."

Her expressions grew increasingly vivid, and the girl, who was completely unlike her usual calm demeanor, blinked and answered in a light and cheerful voice.

"...It's probably just some residue, or acting skills or something like that?"

"..."

The situation is not optimistic.

Having shaken off her initial dazed state, Mutsu seemed to instinctively react, spontaneously beginning to respond to external contact in a new way. Although she now seemed much better than before, there was no doubt... this was not the Mutsu he knew.

No, what he wanted was Wakaba Mutsu.

Before Yuan Xudou, who had little experience with mental health issues, could think of a way to continue comforting the girl, she suddenly took a few steps closer, her swaying emerald green hair brushing against the boy's arm.

"Hey, Xu Dou, what do you think of that 'Mu'?"

Like an innocent child, Wakaba Mutsu tilted her head back, her delicate and lively face revealing a clear curiosity in her pure eyes.

She seemed to simply want to know the answer to this question, without any other ulterior motives.

However, while the girl can ask questions freely, Yuan Xudou cannot answer them with the same indifference.

"...I don't think Mu is any kind of scum or acting skill."

With his head slightly lowered, the boy's dark and deep eyes seemed to freeze as if they were about to drip into the eyes of Wakaba Mutsu, who was looking at him, as he spoke in a serious tone.

“If that were the case, she wouldn’t have come to ask me to find ‘Wakaba Mutsumi’.”

The "Wakaba Mutsu" that the girl mentioned, which he needed to find, was actually her own self. Gen Xudou understood this from the moment he heard that sentence.

Therefore, to find one's true self, the "harmony" that is revealed outwardly... is definitely not some forgotten remnant or an unintentional performance.

"Eh—so, Xu Dou thinks that 'Muku' is 'Wakaba Muku'?"

“What a pity—that’s wrong, you know. If Xu Dou thinks that way, ‘Mu’ will be disappointed too…”

The girl, shaking her head, made an X shape with her two index fingers crossed in front of him.

“I didn’t say that, but this is what I think.”

He categorically rejected the girl's statement.

He knew all too well that Mu was an imperfect person with flaws.

She was expressionless and taciturn. Even when she tried to smile, it was only a shallow, bland smile, a complete waste of her pretty and bright face—though he, who never smiled, had no right to say that she was.

"However, such a person is not someone who needs to be replaced."

"If you think that not being watched by others is a reason to abandon yourself, then I'll tell you."