My stepmother's burden is my ex-girlfriend.

Page 112

I knelt down in the gap between the books scattered on the floor, crawled to the water basin, and peered at "The Dancing Girl of Siberia" on the desk.

"I know about dancers... but Siberia? Does it refer to the railway?"

"Haven't you seen it in a textbook or somewhere else?"

"what?"

"Stranded in Siberia... My great-grandfather went to fight in the war, and after the war ended, he was a Soviet prisoner of war for three or four years."

"...prisoners of war..."

This unfamiliar term didn't immediately resonate with me.

Oh right... our great-grandfather was indeed from the generation that experienced war...

"So, this autobiography is from his time as a prisoner of war in Siberia...?"

"Yes. The content mainly describes how people almost starved to death due to lack of food, almost died of cold due to freezing weather, and almost died from overwork due to excessively heavy forced labor, etc."

"They're all stories of escaping death."

"And then there's the matter of your comrades dying right before your eyes."

"........."

I shut my mouth.

I have never gone hungry, nor have I ever been so cold as to be in mortal danger—the most my body ever felt tired was during the endurance run in physical education class.

Even if you've seen or heard about it in textbooks or in class... those things always sound like stories from another world.

"...So, who is the dancer?"

"It's Mori Ōgai."

"Alice?"

"Yes. He used Mori Ōgai's 'The Dancing Girl' as a metaphor for the girl he met in Siberia."

"I feel like... the story is surprisingly romantic. But it would be terrible if it had the same ending as the real 'Dancing Bayadère'... Ah, so you wouldn't happen to have Russian blood, would you?"

"...You can read and confirm this part yourself."

"what?"

Mizuto handed me "La Bayadère of Siberia" without warning.

"If you want to know what the book is about, you should read it yourself. If you're that curious, then you should just read it yourself. Besides, as you can see, it's not a very thick book."

"Eh... Wh-but... is it okay?"

"Why not?"

I timidly accepted "The Dancer of Siberia".

It's really thin. Its hard cover might even be thicker than the paper pages themselves.

However, it exudes a peculiar atmosphere.

It's like an obsession...like a resentment...as heavy as if it were filled with stagnant and pent-up emotions.

"...Has anyone else read this book?"

"I don't know, probably not. When I saw this book, it was hidden deep inside. But I should know that such a book exists."

Neither Uncle Mineaki nor Granny Natsume, nor even Cousin Madoka, had ever read this book—The Origin of Mizuto.

A stronger sense of dread than when I entered the study washed over me.

—Am I qualified...?

The face of my classmate Dongtou flashed through my mind.

I couldn't help but think naturally... perhaps she should be the one here, reading this book...

"...Then I'm going to take a shower."

Shuidou stood up and walked towards the corridor.

"Whether you read it or not is your choice... Just put the book on my desk afterwards."

After saying that, the water bucket stomped on the floor, making a squelching sound, and its presence gradually faded away.

In the book cellar filled with the smell of old paper, I held the only copy of the book in the world and fell into silence.

Perhaps there are people who are more qualified to stay here than I am.

But the reality is—I'm the only one here.

The Siberian Dancer.

I looked down at the book title.

I recall the way Mizuto handed me this book.

This time, you need to take three deep breaths.

I opened the cover.

"As I approach the end of my life, looking back becomes a major part of it. Although my life has not been one of shame, it has been one of regret. The most heart-wrenching memories are those from my time in distant Siberia."

My love for my wife has not faded and is genuine. But the time I spent with her in that place still shines brightly in my heart like an arc lamp.

Ah, Siberia. My linden street.

I've decided to write this story, just as Toyotaro Ota did. This will be my final literary work, and also my confession.

The novel *La Bayadère of Siberia* begins with this passage.

Toyotaro Ota is the protagonist of Mori Ōgai's "The Dancing Girl"... He met a girl named Alice while studying in Germany and fell in love with her, but in the end he betrayed her in order to protect his family's honor and his own life. He is probably the most hated character among girls in the Japanese textbook.

Grandpa Hou Jie compared himself to Toyotaro and wrote down half of his life.

He accepted substantial financial support and embarked on an elite career, enjoying a harmonious relationship with his parents' arranged fiancée. However, a red envelope from the state compelled him to leave home and join the army—

The book uses a writing style that rivals that of professional writers to depict his life trajectory.

Grandpa Hou Jie, who was assigned to the Manchurian front, witnessed the end of the war there.

After surrendering to the Soviet army following orders from home, he shared his joy with his comrades, thinking he could return to his hometown alive and reunite with his family and fiancée.

Who knew—

"Tokyo, domoy!" shouted the Soviet soldiers.

I excitedly told my astonished comrades this.

"Domoy" is Russian for "return home". We can go back to Japan now.

We boarded the freight car, hoping to head east towards our hometown. However, not long after the truck started moving, I immediately noticed something was wrong.

The train is traveling westward.

Japanese soldiers, dreaming of returning home, spent several months being sent to a frigid internment camp. They were given only small amounts of sour black bread or soup that tasted like salt water each day and were forced to perform harsh and strenuous labor.

Grandpa Hou was very lucky. Because he knew a little Russian, he got a job as an interpreter and didn't have to do heavy labor. The book also mentions that his diet improved slightly.

However, the job of relaying Soviet orders to Japanese soldiers sometimes aroused resentment, and in the Soviet Union, a society that practiced mass surveillance, his mere ability to speak Russian once made him a suspect of espionage...

Before I knew it, the harsh and cold scenes of the Siberian internment camps appeared before my eyes.

It felt like I was spying on someone else's life.

The memories and emotions of Mr. Zhongli Houjie gradually swallowed up my own existence.

"My literary interests never ceased in distant lands. Even when my books were confiscated, I memorized their contents. Simply reciting them allowed me to connect with rich stories and memorable words."

When I do this, like-minded people come to listen, and we have many lively discussions. It's not just people from my hometown; people from other places also have a love for literature.

Great Dostoevsky, you truly connected people's hearts.

It's like lighting a fire to keep warm in the wind and snow; even in a harsh life, there is brilliance.

The most intense radiance is that of the Siberian dancers.

A woman named Elena.

The book says she was the daughter of a Soviet official, and she met Hou Jie through their shared interest in literature. Hou Jie became her tutor, teaching her Japanese. Elena, who, like her father, was a literature enthusiast, and in this way, they gradually developed a deep connection…

Their situation reminded me of my own struggle with water.

The prelude to destruction.

An encounter destined to end.

Because, as mentioned at the very beginning of the story.

Grandpa Hou Jie has a fiancée in his hometown—

Among our fellow literary enthusiasts, many have harshly criticized the protagonist of "The Dancing Girl," Toyotaro Ota, for his weak will.

Toyotaro spent his life following the path laid out for him by his family, his country, and others, but he met Alice in a foreign land, fell in love with her, and embarked on a different path for the first time. However, this man lacked the courage to overcome adversity, clinging to the helping hand extended by his friends, which ultimately drove his beloved Alice insane.

Countless opinions criticize him for not being able to protect even a woman, and for not being a real man.

However, his life and his mindset resonated deeply with me. Whenever I spoke with Elena, whenever I gazed at her smile, my father's stern expression would always come to mind. He wanted me to bring honor to our family and serve my country. I never doubted these teachings.

No matter how well Elena and I resonate with each other, I cannot imagine myself disobeying my father and staying in the Soviet Union. If that day comes, will I drive my beloved insane like Toyotaro did? This terrifies me.

As time passed, Grandpa Hou Jie had to begin resisting the ideological movement called the "Democratic Movement" in the detention center. The Democratic Movement was just a name; in reality, it seemed to be a Soviet brainwashing tactic of indoctrinating prisoners with communist ideology. Since his old friend was resisting, Grandpa Hou Jie had to give his support as well.

Grandpa Hou's comrades, besides having to perform arduous and heavy labor, were also bullied in the shelter. Exhaustion, hunger, bitter cold, and mental exhaustion all struck at once—

"I failed to help my friend. He helped me many times, yet I couldn't repay his kindness. He never blamed me until his death. His eyes reflected his distant homeland."

The handwriting in this part of the article became quite messy. It was as if Grandpa Hou Jie's chaotic thoughts were being written down directly.

After spending three years as a prisoner of war in Siberia, there is finally hope of repatriation to Japan.

Elena and her father had by this time developed a close relationship with Hou Jie's grandfather, and they persuaded him to stay in the Soviet Union. They said they would arrange a position for him and asked if he was willing to marry Elena.

Grandpa Hou's choice was exactly what he had imagined in the past.

He lacked the courage to abandon his hometown for a fleeting romance. He couldn't forget his homeland, his country, and his fiancée.

Upon hearing this, Ms. Elena smiled gently and said:

"Please be happy."

She told me this in the Japanese I had taught her.

Grandpa Hou Jie described his thoughts when he turned away from Elena.

"Laugh at my weak will if you want. Blame me for not being a worthy Japanese man. Even so, I still have to record my true feelings at that time here."

How I wish you would ask me to stay!

...This is the last paragraph.

I opened the last page and stared at that text for a long time.

--Tick-tock.

Water droplets fell onto the old paper.

"……ah……"

I quickly wiped my eyes.

I don't know how long it's been... since I last shed tears while reading...

I don't know if it's because this is a true story, or because it's from Shuidou—the story of my great-grandfather…

I wonder what will happen if this old book gets wet? As I was drying it and looking down at the pages, I noticed something.

There was another tear stain on the page.

...This book has already been bound. Therefore, there should be another original manuscript written by Mr. Zhong Lihoujie.

So this tear stain is from the reader of this book—the only reader besides myself—who shed it…

For a moment, I started hallucinating.

It's as if I can see a little boy in this dark and dusty study... opening this book and crying.

I have never seen a man shed tears because of the plot of the book.

Even so... that was indeed the past, a scene that once existed.