My stepmother's burden is my ex-girlfriend.

Page 162

This crazy woman, unusually, spoke with a hint of worry:

"I wonder if he knows that Dongtou is just an ordinary girl..."

◆ Higashito Isana ◆

"—Hey, Dongtou-kun! Want to have lunch together?"

The special report from the eastern part of the city was still ongoing the following day.

They actually invited me to lunch together—this is the first time in my life I've ever done this. I rarely have the chance to meet up with Mizuto, Yui, or Minami during my lunch break.

"Oh, ah... no, if you don't mind..."

"Of course! Let's go! Oh, did you bring lunch? Or are we going to the school cafeteria?"

"No, no need, I brought my own lunch...!"

Mom... thank you for making me lunch today. She usually gives me change while yawning, so this time I have to thank the god of sleep.

Although things are going so smoothly, I'm starting to feel like I'm deceiving everyone, but the classmates who invited me to dinner are all very kind to me. It's just that I still can't remember their names…

"You and Irito's families have connections, right? So you also know Irito—oh, I mean… do you know his stepsister too?"

"Ah, I know her... My classmate Jie sometimes asks me to hang out..."

"Huh?! Is that so?" "Great!"

As expected, the conversation during dinner revolved around Mizuto. They pressed for details, leaving me amazed at how many questions they had. I even wondered if they were after Mizuto, but it seems they were just genuinely curious.

I will try my best to answer questions, but I won't mention anything about Mizuto or Yui's private matters. One classmate understands this very well; when she sees me stammering and unwilling to answer, she'll say, "How could you possibly tell others something like that?" She subtly stops the other friends from doing so. When I encounter this, I realize they are truly good people.

But—

"Wow—it's so romantic—Irito-kun looks so refined, I never would have guessed..." "Yeah, yeah. She doesn't look like she'd ever fight!"

"What?"

"When Dongtou was being harassed by delinquents, wasn't it him who saved you?" "Wow! It's like something out of a shoujo manga! I'm so envious!"

"……What?"

I don't remember... saying anything like that?

"I heard he ran away holding hands with a classmate from the east end!" "Strange? Didn't he beat up all the delinquents?" "No, no, he talked them into surrendering!" "I heard he ran away in a princess carry?"

Add... add fuel to the fire! The rumor has been exaggerated and embellished to the core!

Water, Water Brother has unknowingly become known as Superman…! Does he give people that impression?! Does everyone want Water Brother to become a Prince Charming?! Although I can understand why!

"Uh, that's not how it is—"

"Irito-san can cook, right, Higashi-san!"

Everyone stared at me.

what……

They were all expecting me to tell them some of the cool little anecdotes about Mizuto. I didn't even need them to ask; I could tell from their eyes.

However, Shuidou wasn't as perfect as everyone imagined. When I went to play with him at noon, he was sometimes still half asleep, his hair was so messy from sleeping that he couldn't comb it for three days, and he could barely do push-ups. If he got into a fight, his hand would get injured first.

So, I need to clear up the misunderstanding... I need to clarify—

"—He seems to be...quite good at...cooking?"

"I knew it!" "He's good at housework, smart, and a fighter—he's amazing!" "And he's cute too!" "It's that face!" "He's really handsome!"

"I know, he's really cute, right!"

I'm not lying! It's true that he can cook and he's cute! It's not that I don't have the courage to ruin the mood!

I really... didn't mean to deceive everyone.

I don't know if it's just my imagination, but the library seemed to be more crowded after school than it was yesterday.

I don't count the number of people every day, so it might just be psychological, but when my friend Shuidou and I are reading in our usual spot by the window, we always hear whispers.

Perhaps they're not talking about us.

Or perhaps there was no malice intended.

However, for those of us who had experienced the tranquility before summer vacation, this became a distinct noise.

I really wish the librarian or library staff could warn them not to chat—oh wait, if they did, my friend Mizuto and I would be the first to get scolded.

Mizuto seems to care about what others think. Compared to before summer vacation or when we were at home, he seems more restrained and doesn't touch me as often. He used to casually touch my hair or ears as a pastime, but today he didn't touch me at all. Not getting the touch I secretly longed for left me feeling unsatisfied.

Most importantly, I noticed that Mizuto's brow was furrowed more tightly than usual, and his expression was stiff... Compared to my overwhelming joy, the current situation might be putting more pressure on him...

"Um...should we change the location?"

After I made that polite suggestion, Mizuto smiled.

"Don't worry. Don't take it to heart."

Mizuto always tells me not to worry.

But is that really the case? I'm so unreliable, is it possible that he just can't talk to me about his problems?

Even when I confessed my feelings to him, Mizuto didn't tell me he had a girlfriend.

I'm a simple-minded and clumsy person, and I'm so happy that we can still be friends even if we can't be lovers. For so long, I haven't thought much about it—but he did that because he was afraid of hurting me, wasn't he? Wasn't he considering my feelings and trying to minimize the blow to me?

After my confession was rejected, I immediately said I wanted to hang out with him like usual; he agreed to even this unreasonable and capricious request without any complaints...

Are you really not worried?

Am I doing a good enough job?

"Just be yourself, don't worry."

Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.

Yes.

By doing this, I can—

"...You haven't seen what I look like in the classroom..."

"what?"

strange?

What did I just say?

"East end...?"

"What's wrong, Mizuto?"

Seeing the concerned look on Mizuto's face, I asked him in my usual manner.

Very risky.

I almost—gave up my sense of timing again.

Nothing particularly noteworthy happened.

All that remains are the mundane details of daily life and repeated mistakes.

I'm just a "weird girl," and I can't change it.

For example, when I was in elementary school, two boys in my class got into a fight. I've forgotten the reason, but it was something like one of them insulted the other, and the other hit him; that's roughly the feeling.

The two were fighting when the teacher pulled them apart, and then both started crying. After hearing the whole story, the teacher said to them:

—You're both wrong, so you should both say sorry and make up, okay?

Even now, when I think back on it, I still wonder, "Why?"

Even if both sides need to apologize, the person who attacked the other first should apologize first. Besides, they weren't even good friends to begin with. How can two people who can't get along possibly reconcile?

Was the teacher really listening to them?

Rather, does the teacher really remember who those two people are?

I just said it directly.

Having nothing to do with that fight, I directly voiced my questions to the teacher.

The only thing I clearly remember is the atmosphere in the classroom. The teacher fell into an awkward silence, and the students all stared at me with expressions that said, "Why did you have to say that?" The two boys who were fighting, on the other hand, pursed their lips, their faces flushed, and glared at me as if they had been humiliated.

I remember the teacher writing "Slightly lacking in sociability" in the communication book that semester. I searched for the meaning of sociability on my phone and was quite shocked. Simply put, it meant I couldn't get along well with others. But the teacher always said to all thirty-six students in the class, "You all need to get along well."

After I cried and said this to my mother, she burst out laughing.

—Get along well with everyone? With all thirty-six classmates? Don't even try, hahaha! You'd be crazy to do that, you idiot! Wahahahaha!

"Hey, Isana, look! I have a whopping 112 friends on my account, but every time I make a mistake, these guys just yell at me mercilessly! Yet they're still my buddies when we play video games! They might yell 'shit' and 'fuck,' but they'll still share items and come to my rescue when I'm attacked by enemies—it doesn't matter if we don't get along! I'll say whatever I want, and we can always argue! Only useless adults who can't even accept the truth from kids would be worried! Hahahaha!"

I admire my mother. I always wish I could live as freely and confidently as she does. So, rather than relying on the communication book, I choose to believe what my mother says. I'll say whatever I want, and if things get really bad, we'll just argue. I've decided to do as my mother says.

As a result, I didn't make a single friend in elementary school.

I went to junior high school all alone. And then—

—Hey, Dongtou, you should check the atmosphere too.

--Everyone's already tired of talking to you, huh? Because you're always so talkative.

—You're so annoying! We're all just people! I'm telling you, your personality is unbearable!

How do you judge the atmosphere?

And who are you all?

Did I say something wrong?

—Dongtou, I understand you have your own opinions. But you need to learn how to compromise a little, otherwise you won't be able to adapt to society.

Do you think your attitude will work in the real world? Use common sense, okay?

Where is society?

What is common sense?

Why... are people angry?

I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand.

Nobody taught me. Why does it feel like I should have known all along? Isn't it said that everyone is different and everyone is great? Didn't we sing this song in elementary school? So why am I scolded for expressing a different opinion? Why do I have to be the same as everyone else?

I can't do it.

I can't talk to others as actively as everyone else. I'm afraid to borrow textbooks. I'm afraid to tell anyone if I lose my eraser. I'm afraid to be in a group with anyone in PE class. I can't write my reflection essay on the social studies observation at school. I can't make a sound when I have a singing test. I can't finish my school lunch either.

What everyone else can do for granted, I can't do.

Is this my fault? Is it something I'm doing wrong? Is it something I can work on to correct? Can I become like everyone else just by trying? Then why can't everyone else work on becoming like me? Why do I have to do it when they don't do it themselves?

Everyone only said to me: You're weird.

But from my perspective, it's everyone else who's acting strangely.

I admire my mother very much. But I can't become like her. I can't laugh it off when people dislike me, nor am I respected enough to act recklessly and still make friends.

If I could, I'd want to be like everyone else. To understand how to read the room without being taught, to automatically learn common sense, to earn praise from adults, and to become a member of society who can integrate normally. But I can't be that kind of person. Because if I did, I might no longer be myself.

Is there any world where people can be themselves like the protagonists in light novels?

Should I go to another world? Even if I'm terrible in this world, would I be able to live an easier life if I'm reincarnated in another world?

I know this is just pointless fantasy.

Even I want to sigh, thinking that this is just a superficial idea to escape reality.

However, for me, a student in junior high school, that was the only option.

That's why I decided to attend a prestigious school that none of my classmates would go to.

Because everyone says that Kyoto University produces a lot of eccentric people, right?

So I couldn't help but think that if I went to a place with many smart students, there might be many people like me—maybe I could become "one of them".

But the result... wasn't much different.

We are all still us, and I am still me.

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