My stepmother's burden is my ex-girlfriend.

Page 390

Perhaps that's why what happened later caught me off guard.

Only then will my wounds, which should have healed, be exposed.

"...Kougure."

In front of the open school gate, Makoto simply raised her hand to greet me.

I walked toward her with my hands in my pockets.

"Sorry for yesterday, I suddenly yelled at you."

"No, it's normal to be more irritable when you're not feeling well. Don't talk about that, everyone's talking about it. It's all your fault for disappearing with Nan, everyone's been gossiping about you two so tastelessly."

Makoto chuckled lightly a few times, but when she saw that I wasn't laughing, she slowly stopped smiling.

"...You said you had something important to discuss with me?"

"Um."

"It's not a confession, is it?"

"……no."

“…I see.”

Makoto's gaze drifted downwards as if trying to escape, then she turned to look at the school buildings inside the school gate.

"Don't stand on the side of the road talking, let's go inside."

"Won't it be a problem if I go in without permission?"

"You used to love sneaking around playing video games behind the dojo, but now you're scared to come back to your alma mater?"

Hearing her sarcastic tone, I fell silent.

"Haha! Just kidding. I did ask the teacher. I suddenly feel like reminiscing about the old days—although the teacher laughed at me, saying, 'It's only been a year and a half, what's all this talk about the old days?'"

Adults always say that the older you get, the faster time seems to pass.

In fact, I also feel that a year now seems shorter than a year in elementary school. But for us, this year and a half is still very long. I've spent this year and a half in agony—and Makoto's year and a half must have been just as unpleasant.

"...Alright, let's go in. We're already here."

"Well, since we're already here..."

So we walked into the school gate.

The moment I stepped into the school, I felt as if I had entered another world, and I felt very uneasy. Just a year and a half ago, I came here to study every day, but now I feel like an outsider.

Time cannot be reversed.

We can only glimpse fragments of past memories.

"Oh, those were the days! We saw Shibayama-kun's underwear on those stairs, didn't we?"

"Why did this come to mind first?"

"Because it was the first time I'd ever seen someone's underwear exposed, I was a little touched. And it was also funny how you guys became so uncomfortable on the spot."

"Having a girl around who gets that excited when she sees underwear makes us really embarrassed, okay?"

They have endless memories to share.

Every time she passes by familiar scenery, Makoto's mouth opens the lid of her memories.

"That horizontal bar, during the sports festival—"

"You play tennis terribly, your timing is completely off—"

"Speaking of science classrooms, Sonoda and the others are in class—"

Playground, tennis courts, covered walkways, shoe locker area, science classrooms, art classrooms—

We walked through each familiar but now past location in turn, looking around.

I know where the finish line is.

That's the place where we spent the most time together.

The classroom of Class 2, Grade 3.

The soft afternoon light enveloped the dim classroom like a thin veil.

The bulletin board next to the blackboard displays a timetable that differs slightly from my memory, and the blackboard at the back of the classroom is covered with doodles that we didn't have back then. The familiar classroom has taken on a new look, bearing the daily traces of the younger students who now study in this classroom.

Walking among these things, Makoto stood by the window.

Opening the window, the breeze that blew into the room caused the curtains to flutter gently like feathers. Makoto, too, let her whole body be bathed in the summer breeze.

then……

"...Thank you for coming with me."

She said this in a voice tinged with bitterness, and then turned her head.

"I'm ready to hear your serious business... Go ahead and tell me."

Seeing her prepared expression, I cut to the chase and said to her:

"Did you confess your feelings to me three nights ago?"

Makoto accepted this bizarre question with a tearful, serene smile.

"So you really... don't remember?"

"Yeah, and the small class reunion we had before that, I don't remember that either. But... you know all of that, right? And you know how I ended up with amnesia."

"........."

"After hearing your confession, did I immediately throw up and pass out? Was it because of that shock that I lost all memory of that day...?"

If you put clothes in the washing machine after taking them off, doesn't that mean they're dirty?

The clue left by Irito probably refers to this fact.

After hearing Makoto's confession, I had a severe allergic reaction and vomited, staining my clothes. The reason I took my clothes off and put them in the washing machine was to wash away the vomit stains.

Reflecting on this fact will lead to a clue.

That's a stain on the carpet.

That morning, when I was checking the living room, I found stains on the carpet. They must be from when I vomited… and also, my phone was there too. Maybe it fell out of my pocket when I passed out.

This was the first impact.

To suppress the impact of this shock, I created an antibody called "Amnesia." However, stimulation of this antibody triggered a second shock (a severe allergic reaction), causing my allergies to overreact and creating non-existent paranoia...

"You were startled by my reaction and ran away. Then the next morning, you were worried about me and came to my house to check on me... is that right?"

Makoto awkwardly turned her face away.

This reaction became the best answer.

"...I thought I could pretend nothing had happened."

Makoto murmured softly.

"I thought I could pretend that my confession to you... that I left you when you were sick and ran away... and all my feelings for you... never happened."

"...I saw you leave my room. I had just woken up, so I didn't recognize you clearly..."

"I see. I think I've... stayed a little too long."

Makoto chuckled self-deprecatingly, placing her hand on the window frame behind her.

"For the past year and a half... I've had one question stuck in my head: why you?"

"........."

"I don't only have you as a male friend. I also have Yamato, Sota, Shoma... But why you of all people? I know that thinking about it won't help, but... this question just keeps swirling in my mind."

"........."

"I never expected this unrequited love to have a happy ending. Because you already have Nan. I'm not presumptuous enough to dare to ruin a childhood friendship, nor do I have the guts... So, I don't understand... why you of all people?"

"........."

"After entering high school, I didn't make any male friends. The kind of girl cliques... or should I say subtle power dynamics? It became even more troublesome than in junior high. Interpersonal relationships were tiring me out, and I started to miss the days in junior high when we could chat about silly things and laugh together. Just then, everyone said they were going to hold that small class reunion, and I saw you again—and then..."

In that instant, Makoto revealed a crying face disguised as a smile.

"I heard you broke up with Nan—and I can't help but think, maybe I have a chance too."

In other words, this became the opportunity?

This incident stirred up feelings that had never surfaced during her junior high school years...

"After the small class reunion ended, I pretended to go home alone, but then turned back and made up an excuse that I had forgotten something... Then I looked for opportunities to pretend to be nonchalant and joke around, thinking that if I scared you, I could change my mind and say it was nothing, like a cowardly wimp..."

That scene is still vivid in my mind.

Perhaps she was tidying up the messy living room at that time. Perhaps that was her reason for staying.

As she tidied up, she tried to mask her tone with the sounds of clattering, and even started with an unnatural "Yeah, I mean—" as an opening remark.

"—'If you're single right now, would you like to date me?'... Looking back now, using that line as a confession was absolutely awful."

Makoto let out a hoarse laugh and said that she was "funny coward."

"Then you turned pale and said, 'Are you serious?' I was going to say that if that was your reaction, I should just take it as a joke, but I couldn't back down, so I said, 'I'm kind of serious.' Then you vomited and fainted on the spot, which completely confused me."

"Then why were you in my room the next morning?"

"Because I was worried about you, even though it's already too late. Your front door wasn't locked, and I tried knocking, but no one answered, so..."

Nan had fled in a panic before that, so it was probably natural that the door wasn't locked.

"I went to your room to check and found you sleeping without any clothes on... I also saw a long hair on the bed... I don't understand what's going on..."

So she had no choice but to run away.

What I saw was her back.

"I also have a question for you."

"Makoto said."

"Why did you vomit back then? Even if you don't remember, you should at least know the reason. Do you have any chronic illnesses?"

"...Actually, I have suffered psychological trauma."

Now that things have come to this, I feel I can't keep it a secret any longer, so I've told you everything.

"Whenever a girl expresses her feelings for me like you do, I feel physically uncomfortable. Although it's gotten much better now."

"...I remember now, you were hospitalized for a stomach ulcer when you were in your third year of junior high school. Was that also the case?"

"You could say that incident was the beginning..."

"...Is that matter related to Nan-kun?"

"have."

She has the most important connections.

"That guy is the one who caused my health problems—and that guy is also the one who cured me."

That guy... took responsibility for me.

It took a year and a half... to atone for the sins committed during my youth.

"Is that so..."

Makoto said in a low voice, as if sighing.

"...No wonder I...can't beat her..."

I haven't given her any reply yet.

But in her heart, the answer was already clear.

Perhaps at that time...

If she had run over to help me when I vomited and collapsed—

"Makoto...you're my best friend. I don't mean I can't see you as a romantic partner...what I mean is that your place in my heart has never changed."

"……Um."