My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 108

Hmph! Dirty fireworks!

Explode them all!

Volume 5, Chapter 1: Suddenly, the daily life of the Hikigaya family was no longer peaceful.

I lay on the floor at home, tapping away on the keyboard of my laptop.

The independent research is almost finished; now we just need to adjust the format.

To be honest, this independent research wasn't my assignment. High school summer homework is math practice problems, and I'd already copied all the answers down, so I solved it in no time. Anyway, my goal is a private liberal arts college, so I don't need to study math at all.

This independent research was actually Komachi's assignment.

Speaking of Komachi, she was lying next to me playing with her beloved cat, Yuki, to relieve the fatigue of studying hard. She would lift Yuki high in the air and pinch her paws.

This guy... I'm helping you with your homework... Should I pinch your paws a few times too?

Well, after all, I also want her to focus on her studies, so I'll take on this kind of workload. Everyone always says that homework is meaningless if you don't do it yourself, which is certainly common sense and very true, but in my sister's case, that common sense doesn't apply at all.

Whether it's ethics or theory, what's so great about it? The character for "sister" is written with "woman" on the left and "not yet" on the right. In other words, she is a woman just beginning her life, with a bright future ahead, and ultimately, she will become the end for all women. She is the Alpha and the Omega (Note 1: from the Book of Revelation in the Bible, "Alpha" and "Omega" refer to the first and the last).

It is both the origin and the end; it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it represents the ultimate evolutionary form of all women. Standing at the pinnacle of all women means being either number one or number two among all humanity. I simply cannot go against such a person, and thus the theory of "the younger sister is the strongest" is established.

So, I helped Komachi with almost all of her independent research... wait, how exactly? In short, isn't it part of learning to ask others to do things for you and to build a network of people who can act as helpers?

As I pondered these random thoughts, I continued typing away on the keyboard, happily completing this haphazard report.

Okay, in the end, all that's left is to add Komachi's name.

After I pressed Enter to save the file, I pushed the laptop towards Komachi.

"It's finished. Take a look at it carefully."

"Hmm~~"

Komachi rolled over and moved closer to me.

She kept nodding and saying "uh-huh" while staring at the computer screen. Then, she suddenly stopped.

"……elder brother."

Komachi spoke slowly, uttering the deepest voice I've ever heard, making her radiant smile all the more terrifying in comparison.

"Excuse me, what is this?"

"Well, well... I wanted to write it in a style more like Komachi's..."

I stammered my answer. After hearing this, Komachi's shoulders began to tremble.

"Sounds like Komachi's tone... So, this is how Komachi is perceived by her brother... Shocking! Komachi is so shocked!"

She made "uh-ah-ah" noises and rolled around, clutching her head. It was kind of cute, and after admiring her for a while, she suddenly sat up, pointed at me forcefully, and said:

"No! That's not like Komachi at all! Especially the last two lines, they're totally like her older brother!"

Ah, it didn't work out after all... Although I had a feeling about it beforehand. But hearing her say that means the first half was written more like Komachi's style, which surprised me.

"I understand, I'll rewrite it, I'll rewrite it. Don't worry, I'll do it. Although this isn't my job, I'll keep my mouth shut and do it obediently."

"Hey! Don't act like a low-level employee who's given up on themselves!"

Komachi stood with her hands on her hips, speaking angrily, then sighed resignedly and pondered, seemingly reflecting on her actions.

"...However, this was originally Komachi's homework, so it's Komachi's turn to do it now. Thank you for helping Komachi with so much writing."

Her attitude was commendable, and it made me want to help her with her homework. The fact that I had the thought, "No matter how hard it is, I have to finish the work I promised," is really unlike me.

"Um... how should I put it? I also got frustrated when I was writing the second half, so... I'm sorry, I'll do my best to help."

As soon as I finished speaking, Komachi's eyes immediately lit up, like those of the legendary, unidentified creature "YAMAPIKARYAA" from Iriomote Island, Okinawa (Note 2: "YAMAPIKARYAA" in the local dialect means "mountain animal with glowing eyes"). In our usual language, it would be called an Iriomote wildcat.

"Komachi knew her brother would say that! Komachi loves her brother the most!"

"Okay, okay, I love you so much, I love you to death too."

As usual, that last sentence was clearly meant to give Komachi extra points, so I brushed it off with slight impatience. Anyway, I'd already done the research for her, so she could write the conclusion herself.

Just as I was explaining the contents of the information to Komachi, Koyuki slowly walked over and lazily sat down in front of the computer screen.

Why do cats always like to stand in front of the TV or step on newspapers?

"Komachi."

"learn!"

After Komachi saluted me, she quickly launched an operation to drive away Koyuki.

She grabbed Xiaoxue, who struggled to break free. The cat's fur was so smooth and soft.

Komachi scratched Yuki's throat, and while Yuki felt comfortable, she began to groom her fur, humming a happy song as she gently stroked Yuki's head all the way down to her tail.

"Hehehe, you naughty little kitten, how dare you disturb Komachi's time with her brother☆"

"This guy is probably already middle-aged, isn't he?"

I wonder how old Xiaoxue is this year. She's been with us for about four or five years now; if you were to convert that to human years, she'd be about the same age as Hiratsuka-sensei. I really want to introduce this cat to Hiratsuka-sensei.

I handed over the finished product of my independent research report to Komachi, and finally I could get back to my own business.

The short hand on the clock is about to point to eleven o'clock. I'm going to a summer intensive tutoring camp this afternoon, so I need to get ready first.

I quickly changed my clothes, and just then the intercom at home started ringing.

Has the item I requested to be reshipped from Amazon arrived? Why do you always send things when I'm not home? Are you some kind of ninja?

I opened the door with the seal and saw an unexpected person.

"Hi, hi!"

Yui Yuigahama, with her hair dyed brown in a bun and dressed in summer clothes, stood blankly at the door, holding a tote bag in both hands, as if wary of her surroundings.

"Ah, oh..."

Faced with this unexpected visitor, I stood there somewhat stunned. The two of us fell silent, unsure how to react.

Speaking of people who have appeared at my doorstep, most of them have been deliverymen or the auntie next door who delivers the bulletin board (Note 3: a way of conveying messages in the community, where information is passed from house to house and each household stamps or signs to confirm it). Today, a former classmate suddenly stepped into this private space, which I found hard to accept. To use an analogy, it's like seeing a gazelle in an aquarium. Everyone knows that gazelles should be found in savannas, zoos, or in "Kinniku-jin II" (Note 4: there is a character named "Gazelle Man" in the manga "Kinniku-jin II").

I leaned against the open door and spoke, trying to appear calm.

"What's the matter?"

This should be the second time Yui has come to my house. The first time was after the traffic accident when she came to thank me, but I didn't meet her then.

"Um... is Komachi home?"

It seems she had an appointment with Komachi.

"Komachi, your friend is here~"

After I called out like a mother, a moment later Komachi came downstairs with a "thump, thump, thump" of footsteps, and she had somehow changed into presentable clothes. Weren't you just wearing a T-shirt until now?

"Yui-neechan, welcome, welcome! Come in, please come in quickly!"

"Um, thank you. Well then, excuse me..."

Yuihama said this, but she still hesitated. She took a deep breath before finally deciding to come in. My house isn't some giant maze.

After she came in, she looked around curiously. Alright, alright, you don't need to touch that wooden bear carving.

Other people's homes are like mysterious places, you could even call them demon realms. Don't we experience culture shock when we enter different cultural spheres? That's exactly what's happening to Yui-hama right now. Every time she sees something perfectly ordinary—stairs, windows, walls—she exclaims "Ehhhh!" and "Wowhh!" in a big, dramatic way. It's starting to annoy me…

Upon reaching the living room on the second floor, Yuihama continued to look around curiously. When she spotted the bookshelf, she stopped to examine it closely, running her finger along the shelf before speaking with a slightly startled expression:

Wow! It's full of books!

"Dad and my brother both love reading, so the number will continue to increase."

Komachi answered from the kitchen counter.

I don't think there are that many books on the bookshelf, but this guy doesn't really like reading...

Compared to the Qigu family, a visit from a guest is a very rare occurrence.

My parents both work during the day and don't interact much with our neighbors. You could say we're a very modern family, at the forefront of the times. Although we'll nod and greet our neighbors when we see them on the street, our relationship is basically limited to knowing each other's names.

Therefore, I'm unsure how to handle visitors, and there's nothing I can do if I'm called a clueless fool. Perhaps in the future, at my father's funeral, I'll even scatter incense ash before his spirit tablet (Note 5: an anecdote about Oda Nobunaga's father's death). Oh dear, wouldn't that make me a great man? Let me add a trivial tidbit: Those who smugly say things like, "But Edison wasn't a good student either," are just as bad at everything else.

"Um……"

I pulled out a chair, gesturing for Yuihama to sit down first.

I'm not used to doing this kind of thing, so I acted very awkwardly, like a super-remote country boy lending an umbrella to a city girl in a downpour. This boy would probably then say, "Your house is haunted!" (Note 6: a scene from the anime "My Neighbor Totoro.")

"Ah, thank you."

Yuihama gently sat down in the chair. At that moment, Komachi brought in barley tea from the kitchen and placed it on the table. The ice cubes in the glass clinked.

"So, what brings you here?"

I couldn't figure out why she had come to visit. Yuihama heard my question and pointed to the bag she was carefully holding on her lap.

"This is the shortbread I mentioned to Komachi before..."

She opened the bag.

The next moment, some indescribable, blasphemous furry creature attacked. It had brown fur, round eyes, short limbs, and a constantly wagging tail. If it had lived in the right era, this creature—the dog—would have been the most noble creature in the world.

As soon as the shortbread dog I was raising saw me, it rushed straight towards me. Do you think I'm dog food?

The shortbread unleashed a devastating impact! The effect was phenomenal! Hachiman's vision went completely dark!

The shortbread pounced on me, knocking me to the ground and licking me enthusiastically everywhere. I finally managed to pull it away and lift it up, its tail still wagging in front of me.

"What's wrong with this dog...wait, has its fur gotten shorter?"

The shortbread seems to have shrunk in size compared to two months ago. Did it previously gain the power of the Beast Spear? (Note 7: In the manga "Ushio and Tora," those who gain the power of the Beast Spear develop long hair.)

"Oh, that's because Crispy is a long-haired dog, so I took it for a summer cut."

"oh……"

Whether you want a somersault kick, an uppercut, or a screw pile driver, I have no problem with it.

"So, what did you bring it for?"

Even after I let go of the shortbread, it kept circling around my feet, showing no sign of leaving. This dog is so clingy, I almost cried.

I gestured to Yuihama with my eyes to think of a solution, and Yuihama called out, "Short Rice Cake, come here quickly." Only then did Short Rice Cake come over.

She picked up the shortbread and gently stroked it, then continued speaking.

My family is going on a trip in the next few days.

Family trips... what a nostalgic phrase.

After entering high school, I almost never heard about this kind of thing, but then again, I couldn't find anyone to talk about these things anyway. Yes, that's right.

"Your family has such a great relationship, compared to my family..."

"Only my brother was left behind."

Komachi inserted those words at the perfect moment. Upon hearing this, Yuihama trembled and murmured:

"No wonder he's an autistic guy..."

Yuihama's tone was almost respectful. Hey, she's pretty good at judging people! Only when it comes to pitiful creatures.

"...No. When I was in middle school, I told my family I didn't want to go on trips with them, and after that, they stopped taking me."

I wasn't going through a rebellious phase at the time; I just felt inexplicably awkward traveling with my family, which is why I didn't want to go. But surprisingly, my dad happily agreed…

Okay, that's enough about my dad. Let's get back to Yuihama's family trip.

"So, what happened to your family's trip?"

"Ah, um... I was wondering if I could leave the pastries here while I'm traveling... Is that not allowed?"

Yuihama looked up at me and asked.

Although I'm a Japanese person who can loudly say "no" to most requests, it was really hard for me to refuse when I saw Komachi smiling and touching the shortbread.

However, this doesn't mean I'd happily agree immediately. Since adults teach us to only respond once, I can't possibly respond twice.

"...If you want to find a place to store your belongings, you don't need to come all this far, do you?"

She has an abundance of close friends who can board her pets. Besides, there are also hotels that cater specifically to pets these days.

"Neither Yumiko nor Hina have ever owned a pet. Besides, I asked Yukino for help, but she said she's currently at her parents' house and it's very inconvenient for her..."