My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 164

"No, we can't back down now... Anyway, the penguin already knew during the summer vacation, so it won't matter if it's said out loud."

“…I see.”

Seeing his strong will, Ye Shan said no more.

I was somewhat surprised that Hubu ignored Hayama's objections, but Hayama is pure, upright, and kind; it's possible he deliberately created obstacles to test how serious Hubu was. I think he's the kind of person who would cheer on and support his friends, so it wouldn't be too surprising that he did something like that. Ah... I completely can't understand it!

I'm not sure if Hayama is thinking of the Ministry of Revenue's best interests; at least the Ministry doesn't seem to realize it, and he's still stammering and unable to say it. Ah... if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay to leave now; no one will blame you.

"that……"

He was finally about to speak about his troubles. Although the people present weren't particularly curious, they listened attentively.

"that……"

Why aren't you saying anything yet? Stop dragging your feet! Have you been watching too many variety shows lately? These days, variety shows are constantly interrupted by commercials, and after the commercials end, they jump back to previously aired content. Did I experience some kind of time travel? Thanks to those commercials, I almost never watch anything other than animation now.

"Um, actually..."

After dragging his feet for ages, he finally got to the point.

"I actually think Ebina is pretty good, so I'm planning to check it out during this graduation trip."

Half of what he said felt like a code, or rather, an abstract concept, which we could only decipher by feeling.

"Really!"

Yuihama's eyes lit up; I had similar thoughts to hers.

So, what he said during the summer training camp in Chiba Village was serious.

I knew about this beforehand, so even though the Ministry of Revenue spoke in a very abstract way, I could still piece together what he was trying to say from the feel of the language. But Yukinoshita turned her head to the side in confusion.

She clearly couldn't understand what the Ministry of Revenue was saying at all, so Yuihama immediately leaned over and whispered a translation.

Yukinoshita nodded as she listened for a while, then suddenly stopped, adopted a troubled expression, and turned her head to the side.

Then, I organized what I understood.

"Anyway, you want to confess to Ebina and then date her, right?"

I confirmed this with the Ministry of Revenue, adding a few words that would make any teenage boy blush. The Ministry of Revenue listened, tossed his hair back, pointed at me forcefully, and said:

"Yes, yes, that's exactly it, but I'd be really upset if I got rejected. It's so good that you grasped the key point so quickly, unlike the penguin!"

Isn't your attitude changing too quickly...? Well, it's not surprising that the Ministry of Revenue would act this way, after all, he also spoke to me during the summer training camp.

anyway……

"I don't want to be rejected..."

Don't be so naive, okay? Once you enter the workplace and start working, people will definitely throw a bunch of inexplicable tasks at you, including things that make you wonder, "Wait, is this even my job?" I advise you to get used to it as soon as possible (Note 13: The verb for being rejected or dumped is "振られる," which is the same as being given work).

As I pondered these random thoughts, I rested my right hand on the table as if it were a pillow.

Yukino hesitated for a moment, gently touching the corner of her mouth as she pondered.

Only one person was interested in this commission, and that person was Yuihama.

Upon hearing the sudden love story, her eyes lit up, and she jumped up from her seat with a "click," leaning forward with great interest.

"That's great! It feels amazing! I support you!"

On the other hand, Yukinoshita was still thinking.

"Specifically, what do we need to do when we're dating...?"

I can't believe you jumped straight to that stage... Despite thinking this to myself, I'm actually not entirely sure myself. Dating? How about fencing? (Note 14: The Japanese word for dating is "付き合う," which sounds the same as "突き合う" in Japanese.)

Those two people seemed ready to accept the commission, but I really had no interest in them.

Honestly, the moment she asked someone to help her confess her feelings, it was already destined to fail.

From the upper grades of elementary school onwards, I've been surrounded by these kinds of rumors and gossip, but I've never seen anyone who asked for help end up with a good outcome. Most people just find it fun, and lose interest as soon as the hype dies down. Besides, revealing who you like could become leverage. Even if you didn't intend it at first, it might be used as a threat during arguments or as a bargaining chip to find out who you like. My goodness, never underestimate the intelligence-gathering skills of elementary school students.

For the reasons mentioned above, I'm not keen on supporting the Ministry of Revenue in this matter, let alone helping him make connections. Actually, uh... it reminds me of painful memories.

Seeing my troubled expression, Ye Shan, who was also smiling wryly to the side, asked:

"So it really can't be that simple?"

“Well…”

I didn't know how to respond, so I secretly looked away, only to find myself staring right into Yukino's eyes.

She also had a look on her face as if asking me, "What do you think?"

I put on even more dead fish eyes, shook my head, and told her "it's impossible."

She nodded slightly, indicating "I understand," and then announced the results of the discussion.

"I'm sorry, we probably can't help you."

"Um."

Okay, end.

"Hmm... okay, that makes sense."

Ye Shan nodded in understanding, his gaze falling to his feet, and he didn't look up again.

Our position—which may include Hayama—is actually not far from that of those who come for consultation. If you think you are capable of resolving all requests, you are simply overestimating yourself.

There are more things that can't be done than things that can be done; that's just the way things are. I can't help the Ministry of Revenue, and I can only offer my deepest regret. Hmm... it's truly a pity, but I don't have a girlfriend, so... it might be too difficult for me. Yes, that's exactly it.

However, some people do not accept this conclusion.

"Huh? Why isn't it working? Can you help me out?"

Yui tugged at Yukinoshita's coat, pleading. Yukinoshita gave me a troubled look, and Yui looked back at her. Wait a minute, don't try to pin the blame on me! Didn't you just refuse a few seconds ago?

The Ministry of Revenue noticed the meaning in their gazes, took a step closer to me, and put on a big smile.

"Penguin... no, Mr. Penguin, please!"

Hey, hey, hey, you asked so politely, but in the end you still didn't call me by my name. Isn't that even more rude?

"Well, the Ministry of Revenue is begging you like this."

Please~

Ooka and Yamato also smiled and spoke up for Tobe. Why am I always the one in the minority, without any exceptions?

"Yukino, it seems like the Ministry of Revenue is really troubled..."

"...Well, since you've put it that way, let's think about what methods we can come up with."

Under Yui's tearful gaze, Yukino surrendered. I say, Yukino, you've been spoiling Yui too much lately.

At this point, complaining won't change anything. Since I'm always on the minority side, I'm destined to lose to them. Although the majority should respect the minority, the minority must ultimately submit to the majority—a principle we learned in elementary school social studies class.

So, I had no choice but to obediently nod.

"……All right."

"Hooray! Thank you so much! Yui, Yukino, thank you so much!"

...Hello, where am I?

Never mind, it doesn't matter. Anyway, I didn't agree to help him for the sake of being thanked; it was purely a business matter.

Since I've accepted the commission, I should at least put on a show; that's my personal belief. Although I won't give it my all, I'll try my best to a level that's acceptable to general values. This is exactly the "corporate slave spirit" I learned from the school anniversary executive committee a while ago—try hard enough not to get fired.

"Okay, that's enough... Please explain in detail what we're going to do next."

"Well, I'm going to confess my feelings to Ebina, so I'd appreciate your assistance."

"Wow~~"

Upon hearing the word "confession," Yui Hama immediately covered her mouth and sighed. "I'm sorry to dampen your enthusiasm, but I don't think things will go that smoothly. Besides, didn't I ask the Ministry of Revenue for a more specific explanation? Could you please be a little more specific in your answer?"

"In short, I understand your feelings; conversely, I only understand your feelings. Let me make this clear first, confessing your feelings is a very risky move."

Upon hearing this, the Minister of Revenue stopped abruptly from pulling on the back of her hair.

"Risk? Oh, I know. Yes, risk, risk~"

Does this guy even understand what I'm saying...? I mean "risk," not some cat food that would make a cat jump for joy, nor the nickname of a soccer player who played for the Chiba JEF team (Note 15: The original word for risk here is "リスキㄧ." The cat food brand "Friskies" is called "フリスキㄧ" in Japan; soccer player Pierre Littbarski's nickname is "リティ").

I seriously doubted how much the Ministry of Revenue actually understood, and even more so whether Yui Hama had comprehended anything at all. Sure enough, she turned to me and asked:

"risk?"

"Risk, the degree of danger, or the possibility of loss."

Yukino explained it to her in the style of a Pokédex.

"I understand what you mean! I'm asking about the risks!"

Yui protested angrily, but Yukinoshita remained unmoved. So this person can joke around too...

Getting back to the main point, answering questions is a basic principle of being a decent human being. Therefore, I will carefully analyze the risks of confessing one's feelings for you.

"The first step is to confess your feelings, right? But what if they reject you?"

"Is it already confirmed that I'll be rejected?"

"Idiot, not only will the other party definitely refuse, but the entire subsequent development has already been decided."

Yui was a little startled, but this was only the beginning, and it was too early to react. The real show was about to begin after the person who confessed was rejected. Don't think you've hit rock bottom yet; you'll soon discover that there's no such thing as a "deepest point" in life, only "deeper points." That's right, you'll keep falling deeper and deeper…

"The day after the confession, the news will definitely spread throughout the class. If everyone just knew about it, it wouldn't be a big deal, but you'll hear the whole classroom talking about it..."

"I heard that Hachiman confessed to Kaori yesterday."

"Oh my god, Kaori is so pitiful..." Why is she pitiful...?

"And she confessed her feelings via text message."

"What?! That's terrifying! But who would confess their feelings via text message?"

That's exactly what I meant!

"Luckily, I didn't tell him my email address."

Don't worry, he won't confess to you (laughs).

"What?! You're going too far! (laughs)"

—Then it becomes a topic of conversation, and unwittingly reaches your ears, risking a slight emotional wound.

This is a classic case of relentless pursuit. After the blow of a breakup, one even tries to exclude oneself from society.

"More stories about the autistic man..."

Yuihama murmured softly, "But isn't that obvious? I can't possibly know about other people's affairs. If I were to bring something up, it would naturally be about my own past."

Oh dear, no, no, once I start talking about myself, I can't stop. Whew, I'm so thirsty from talking.

I got carried away with my words and everyone else in the room fell silent.

"...Do you understand?"

Just to be on the safe side, I checked with everyone. Yukinoshita sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"...Only you would do that."

"No, I think many junior high school students have had similar experiences..."

However, the Ministry of Revenue happened to be one of those groups without similar experience. He drew a conclusion that clearly hadn't been thought through, rendering all my earnest advice futile.

"Okay, okay, I understand. Just don't confess via text message. Besides, I'm the kind of person who won't care what others say."

He pointed to himself with a thumbs up, and Ooka and Yamato joined in the teasing.

"The Minister of Revenue is going to confess his feelings openly and honestly, how cool is that!"

"You really are a man..."

"No, of course a guy should do that!"

Could you please not say such things with a blush on your face... Although I feel bad for the shy Ministry of Revenue, the risks are not limited to what I just mentioned.

"...It's not just that."

"And one more thing..."

Yuihama started to get impatient.