My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 227

Yukinoshita gently stroked her chin, seemingly deep in thought.

"I don't find it strange to spend the holidays at home. I've heard that in Europe and America, most people also spend the holidays with their families."

"But this is Japan..."

Seeing Yuihama's dissatisfied protest, I immediately spoke up, trying to find a way to make her give up.

"Wait, think about it carefully. People from the birthplace of Christmas have said so, so you should follow the custom and stay home. This is the kind of Christmas that conforms to the world standard and is also globalized."

I tried to reason with her, but Yui wasn't intimidated. She waved her hand in front of me and told me:

"That doesn't seem right. Although I'm not entirely sure whether it's 'The World' or some kind of 'Stand' (Note 63: 'Stand' also refers to the special ability 'Stand' in *JoJo's Bizarre Adventure*. 'The World' is a type of Stand.), those things have nothing to do with Christmas, right? Besides, everyone else wasn't really sure either, but they still had a lot of fun."

"...In Japan, Christmas has indeed gradually become an internalized cultural custom."

After thinking for a moment, Yukinoshita said this. It was certainly strange that she could be persuaded, but what was even stranger was something else.

"Yuihama actually knows how to reason..."

"hey-hey--"

Yuihama grinned victoriously, puffing out her chest in triumph.

"Okay, I understand. Let's assume you're right. So, may I ask you, what is the correct way to celebrate Christmas in Japan?"

When I asked her that, a question mark appeared above Yuihama's head.

"Just, just the normal way—"

"For me, the normal way is to stay at home. I never spend Christmas with anyone outside my family. So, what specific activities are there? A bunch of people yelling and screaming outside? It's not like it's a college train station in April."

Yukino nodded in agreement with my words.

"Every April, the train station near the university is incredibly noisy..."

"Those guys were really yelling and screaming... During Christmas, the whole city was filled with their alternating 'Hey~' and 'GG' (Note 64: 'Hey~' is the original Japanese for 'wei,' and 'GG' is the original Japanese for 'wanchan,' both common phrases among Japanese university students.) Just thinking about encountering those kinds of people on the street makes me feel unbearable."

It wasn't just during this year-end period; those guys were incredibly noisy anytime, anywhere. The thought filled me with utter despair. However, Yui waved her hand in denial.

"No, I wouldn't yell or scream like that."

"Yes, it seems to be the Ministry of Revenue."

Without thinking, I immediately retorted. Yuihama was speechless.

"Hmm—the Ministry of Revenue... But he's already in that state; no one can save him..."

She gave a feigned smile, intending to brush it off. However, those words were truly hurtful... Upon hearing this, Yukinoshita also looked puzzled and uttered even more hurtful words.

"Hubu-kun isn't the main point. I'm more curious about what those 'Hey~' and 'GG' meant earlier."

I think Yukinoshita genuinely didn't understand the meaning of those two sentences. Compared to Tobe, she was more interested in the slang and catchphrases of those young people. Yuihama was momentarily at a loss for words and began to rack her brains.

"Hmm, how exactly should I explain this... Could it be... in English?"

Hearing such a naive answer, a smile involuntarily crept onto my lips. But when I was about to speak, my tone automatically shifted to that of someone trying to soothe a child.

"That's right. For you, all unfamiliar words are English. It's not your fault, though."

"You said it so gently, but it actually makes me angry!"

Yuihama got angry. But what could she do? Think about her own logic—it's like equating all foreigners with Americans. Doesn't that sound childish? So now it's my fault…

On the other hand, Yukinoshita accepted her statement and pondered it deeply.

"If you pronounce 'hello' in English... it's 'wait'. So it means to wait?"

"No, I think that's absolutely impossible."

Those guys couldn't possibly understand English. To be honest, even their native Japanese sounds weird. Although their language skills are poor, their communication skills aren't particularly bad; they manage to form conversations using a very limited vocabulary of phrases like "super awesome," "I knew it," "Oh yeah," and "fairly true." This shows that the lower a person's IQ, the higher their communication skills actually are. This is simply a case of a highly contextual culture (Note 65: In high-context cultures, communication relies more on context than language itself). It's practically a case of "different cultures!" (Note 66: A famous line from the protagonist of the manga *History Eyes*).

Halfway through her thought, Yukinoshita suddenly looked at her seriously.

"Hachiman... wait, stay, house."

Are you training a dog...?

I didn't expect you to know about puns (Note 67: "ワンチャン" is also a Japanese nickname for a puppy). Wow, that's incredibly sophisticated!

"I don't need you to order me around. I really want to go home, okay...?"

I followed the instructions and prepared to get up and go home, but Yui grabbed my sleeve and dragged me back to my seat.

"Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! We haven't decided anything yet!"

"Isn't that just going back to square one... If you want everyone to do something together, then come up with a plan."

I reluctantly sat back down, still feeling that this discussion wouldn't lead to anything meaningful. We still had absolutely no clue how to play the game together. I desperately need someone kind enough to create an instruction manual for this situation; a dictionary would be even better. With a standard operating procedure (SOP), maybe everyone could become a seasoned pro.

Back to the main point. Of course, such instruction manuals don't exist. People always develop their own ways of dealing with the world based on rules of experience and information gathered through inquiries. Now, even Yui Yuigahama, who can be considered a living encyclopedia of ways of dealing with the world, is pondering and racking her brains.

"Have a good time—but you don't like that… Go see the beautiful Christmas lights? Then you'll say you can go alone… Hmm…"

The way she worked so hard moved me deeply.

"Wow, you've actually learned to think one step further... I can see you've grown."

"As for Hachiman, I see no growth in you at all... No matter how much you struggle now, you'll end up with her anyway. Why not just give up sooner? You really don't learn your lesson."

Yukinoshita said with a hint of helplessness. However, I couldn't just stay silent.

"You're the one who won't learn your lesson. How could I possibly obediently nod and agree after just a few words of advice?"

"Oh dear, I suggest you don't underestimate me. I know how to study hard."

A victorious smile appeared on his face beneath the snow, but as he spoke, his tone turned somber.

"...Don't be fooled by Yuihama's appearance; once she's made up her mind, she won't back down. So in some situations, no matter how much others refuse, it won't make a difference."

"That's not learning, that's being 'disciplined'..."

Okay, their somewhat decadent relationship actually developed quite well, so let's take a positive view of it for now.

At that moment, Yuihama suddenly tapped her hand.

"Ah, right!"

"Have you come up with any ideas? Why don't you let us hear them?"

Yukinoshita (after being trained) obediently posed a question. Then, Yuihama, holding up a finger and circling it, spoke hesitantly:

"Hmm...we can go get some fried chicken together!"

"That means you can eat it anytime..."

"If we follow your logic, wouldn't those fried chicken and roast chicken shops be celebrating Christmas every day? Besides, we ordered our bucket of fried chicken a long time ago."

Upon hearing this, Yukinoshita suddenly turned her head and gave me an elegant smile.

"You have fried chicken at home too? Are you sure you're not a coward (Note 68: both 'fried chicken' and 'coward' are written as 'chicken' in English)?"

"Hey, don't compare my chicken to the ones sold outside. Ours has practically no bones, it's super easy to eat, and with Dad, there are two of them—much more generous than other places. Wait a minute, is it okay to count the chicken as a 'whole' instead of 'pieces'?"

"If he's still alive, he should be fine."

"Don't say that! All that 'living' stuff is too vivid! It'll make people not want to eat!"

Yuihama wailed in anguish. But in doing so, her proposal became meaningless.

"If we're not eating fried chicken, do we even need a party? Okay, the original purpose is gone. Case closed."

"You autistic guy, you're a real strategist!"

She was speechless for a moment, but she did not give up and continued to think.

"No, otherwise... if we don't want fried chicken, how about we have cake instead!"

"Cake..."

I started assessing the possibility of a cake. To be honest, I almost threw up from baking cakes during previous Christmas events, and if I were to eat cake again today, I would literally run away. Besides, fried chicken and cake are available all year round, so they're not exactly essential elements of a Christmas dish.

Seeing my troubled expression, Yuihama looked over anxiously.

"Huh? You don't seem very interested... Could it be that you don't like sweets?"

Just as I was about to answer, another person spoke first.

"No, he also belongs to the sweet tooth."

"Why is it you who answered? This isn't a guessing game like during self-introductions... Okay, I do like sweets."

Yukino brushed aside her long hair and gazed intently at me.

"Isn't it obvious at a glance? Unless you have a particularly sweet tooth, you simply can't drink that kind of cloyingly sweet coffee."

"Ha! You underestimate MAX coffee. Many people who don't like sweets will buy it to drink when they need it. In the Chiba area, for example, eight or nine out of ten farming households buy it by the case. MAX coffee is the best nutritional supplement when you're physically exhausted."

No kidding, farmers in Chiba Prefecture really do buy MAX coffee by the case! They also buy large quantities of four-panel comic book magazines. I saw this firsthand at local farms during an elementary school field trip, so it's definitely true. When you're tired, you really do need to treat yourself to something sweet. But thinking about it, aren't the people of Chiba Prefecture consuming so much MAX coffee a bit too much?

I planned to give those two people a good lesson, to let them understand the taste and wonder of MAX coffee. Yui listened, then turned her head to the side, making a questioning sound.

"Hmm...but you don't look very tired...it's like you're always in energy-saving or eco-friendly mode, always looking so casual?"

"Hey, saving electricity and being environmentally friendly are two completely different things from being lazy..."

"You know how lazy you are... but if someone doesn't know you, seeing those dead fish eyes, they'll obviously think you're exhausted. Yet you're so healthy... those dead fish eyes are truly powerful."

"Wrong, rambling on with you guys is really tiring. So, can we go home now?"

"Didn't we say we couldn't go back? Fine, whatever we're going to do, it's decided, no backing out!"

"You're so domineering..."

It was this mysteriously tough attitude that forced Yukinoshita to submit... Just as some impolite thoughts were forming in my mind, Yui looked down at the ground with a forlorn expression.

"If you really hate it, I won't force you..."

As she spoke, she raised her eyes to peek over.

"Um! Wait a minute, it's not that I hate it, it's just that I don't know much about Christmas..."

Seeing that expression on her face, a wave of intense guilt washed over me. But I could foresee that once I accepted a Christmas marked by the loss of my first love, leaving only ruins, my resolve for everything else would crumble bit by bit. I had to draw a line beforehand that I could accept… Good heavens, even I felt I was being far too fussy.

Seeing me caught in a mental struggle, Yukino sighed softly.

"Why overthink it? You can just put Christmas aside and treat it as a small victory celebration. Anyway, I'll be there."

Upon hearing this, Yuihama immediately showed a happy expression and rushed towards Yukinoshita.

"Thank you, Yukino! It's definitely a good idea to turn it into a celebration party. The student council members from Iroha will probably organize one themselves. Also, I want to properly thank Aya and Komachi for their help."

"That's right. I believe that using the pretext of rewarding everyone is a sufficient reason."

As Yukinoshita spoke, she busied herself pulling Yui away. After hearing her explanation, I also began to consider its feasibility.

"...That makes sense...No, I still can't participate today."

"why?"

Yuihama turned her face away from Yukinoshita and towards me.

Her suggestion of fried chicken and cake reminded me that I had to go to KFC today to pick up the bucket of fried chicken I had ordered.

"I'm going to pick up the fried chicken I ordered last time, and I also have to prepare dinner for Komachi."

Yuihama looked surprised when she heard my reason.

"I didn't expect you to be so family-oriented...?"

"It's quite surprising that you have other plans."

Yukinoshita's words made me smile wryly. She was absolutely right. Under normal circumstances, I hardly have any plans, but I never miss anything I've made with my family, especially with Komachi.

"So I'm sorry, I don't have time today."

"Well... since other things have already come up, there's nothing we can do about it..."

Yuihama seemed to understand my situation, nodded slightly, laughed a few times, and finally sighed softly.

Although Yuihama's proposal came as a complete surprise, I could still sense how much she was looking forward to Christmas. She could easily gather a large group of friends for a trip, but now she looked dejected because of someone like me. To be honest, I felt guilty myself.

Yukinoshita probably felt the same way. She looked at Yuihama with a heavy heart, then silently shifted her gaze away.

"You mean it's not possible today, so tomorrow is okay, right?"

"...Well, I don't have any plans for tomorrow."

I scratched my head and answered. Yuihama understood the implication, looked back and forth between me and Yukinoshita, and then clapped her hands.