My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 232

These casual words tugged at my heartstrings.

"...Perhaps."

"……Um."

Then, the two of them fell silent.

I have absolutely no idea what a "never-ending relationship" would look like. It's probably a dream, a fantasy, an ideal, something that could never happen in the real world.

The more beautiful something is, the more pain it brings. I don't know how to respond to Yuihama's words.

Later, she broke the silence with a bright smile.

"Ah, I just remembered, Yukino's birthday is coming up soon."

"Oh yeah, I think I remember that."

I don't know the exact date, I only remember it was in winter. Yuihama continued to pick up items from the shelf, glance at them, and put them back, repeating this countless times before glancing over briefly.

"On my birthday, you and Yukino went shopping for a present together, right?"

"Yes, and Komachi too."

"I see—"

She made a listless sound, put the things back in their place, and just stared at the shelf without moving.

"Then, will you come with me to go shopping...?"

I followed her gaze and casually picked up an item she had been playing with.

If it's for shopping, I have no reason to refuse. After all, there's a precedent of going out with Yukino, and Yui's purpose in proposing this is quite clear.

I forget when it was, but we made plans to go out together. What she's bringing up now is probably not that original plan, so it's okay to think about it more lightly.

I secretly exhaled and looked up to answer:

"Hmm... buying things... I can do it anytime."

"Um……"

Yui gave a brief reply, then turned her face away, somewhat dissatisfied. Just then, she spotted Yukinoshita in another direction. She figured she was probably also there to pick out a gift.

"Ah, it's Yukino. Let's talk about this another time! Hey—Yukino—"

She finished speaking in one breath and then ran to find Yukinoshita.

"Oh dear, Yuihama-san and Hikigaya-san."

Yukinoshita turned her head, and Yuihama put her hand on her shoulder.

"Yukino, have you decided what you want to buy?"

"Not yet. Although Komachi offered many suggestions..."

Oh... so she was traveling with Komachi.

"But I didn't see Komachi..."

"She's over there."

I looked in the direction Yukinoshita was pointing and sure enough, I saw Komachi... wait, her appearance is unusual.

"I saw it, I saw it. Hey—Komachi… what are you doing?"

She was completely trapped inside the giant beanbag chair, unresponsive, her mind blank, her eyes staring into nothingness. She only snapped back to reality when I called out to her.

"Ah, brother. This sofa is amazing! Lying down on it will turn you into a cripple instantly! Wow! That's incredible, it really feels like I'll become useless—oh no, my body feels like…"

Komachi's body sank deeper and deeper. This was the power of the lazybones that specifically produced useless people...

"Wow, is it that amazing? I'm suddenly very interested."

I was also a little eager to try it out, and I started to assess the possibility of simply lying down on it with Komachi for a nap. Just as I was about to take a step forward, a voice stopped me.

"Oh dear, Hachiman, you're already a complete lazy bum, you don't need a lazy bone anymore, do you?"

Looking back, I saw a smile on Yukinoshita's face.

"Don't smile at me like that. Haven't you heard that two negatives can make a positive?"

"Negative plus negative only leads to more negatives. Didn't your middle school math teacher teach you that?"

"Wait, you need to think about it from the opposite perspective. Wouldn't it be a solution if everyone had a lazy streak and became useless? Think about it, if everyone was useless, then useless people wouldn't exist."

Upon hearing this, Yukino sighed deeply.

"You still have that same old idea that if it's going to rot, everyone rots together... I think you'd better stay away from those sofas."

After listening to our pointless conversation, Komachi struggled to get up.

"Hoo... Heh~ Whoosh. That's right, what my brother really wants is to be someone's sugar daddy. For Komachi, having a wife who spoils my brother like a cripple is much better than buying this useless sofa♪ Meow~"

"Eh! Um...that person..."

Yuihama had been standing by with a wry smile, only to be startled by Komachi's words. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but couldn't utter a word. Thank goodness… No matter what she said, I would have just wanted to die… Meanwhile, Yukinoshita simply smiled and ignored Komachi's gaze.

"I'm very sorry, but your wish is probably impossible to fulfill. It's simply too difficult for you, Hikigaya-kun."

"Oh, really? Komachi's so disappointed... I was hoping to hand over the baton soon..."

Hey Komachi, lately you've been so eager to get rid of your brother, isn't that a bit too much? It's never too late to leave him!

While I'm grateful to Yukino for her skillful use of ball against Komachi, I still don't quite agree with that statement.

"Wait a minute, can you please not ruin someone else's dream?"

Snowfall changed her gaze to something cold and shifted her attention over there.

"You always say that, but you still do it anyway."

"Yes, yes, I understand. Even if he complains every day, he'll still work hard in the end."

Yuihama nodded in agreement. Then, Komachi turned to me and said:

"Did you hear that, brother?"

Terrifying images began to pop into my head.

"Honestly, even I think it's quite possible... The company might only give me bananas and use me as ten people. I'd just curse the boss a few times, then continue working obediently. Seeing that the overtime pay or something adds up and it's not too bad, I'd get more and more used to that kind of life. Eventually, I'd let go of everything and have the thought, 'Heh, this kind of life isn't so bad,' and live a happy and healthy corporate slave life... Thinking about this makes me incredibly worried... The future is so difficult..."

"Your imagination is surprisingly true..."

"However, the point of concern is a bit off..."

Hama and Yukinoshita both looked like they were about to lose it. Dreams and hopes are indeed impossible (Note 79, a line from the manga *Bakuman Mary*).

"That's why I hope to grasp at least one dream. I want to become a stay-at-home dad..."

"Your imagination is clearly very rich, yet your conclusions are always so terrible. I've always found that incredible..."

She let out a heavy sigh under the snow.

"Well, you two must know that this is just my brother's personality, so I suggest you don't have too high expectations."

Komachi tried to smooth things over, but it didn't help me at all.

"Yes, I gave up a long time ago."

"Ah, hahaha... It's... it's hopeless now~"

Yukinoshita spoke very directly to Yuihama, while only Komachi stared at me with a smile.

"That's what they said. Great, brother!"

"Wait a minute, what's so good about this? They said I'm hopeless and they've given up on me."

She was utterly useless. In terms of working, it was like someone giving up on her and telling her, "Sigh... okay, that's enough, you don't need to do anything anymore." However, Komachi still had a smile on her face, seemingly not thinking that way.

"Hmm? Is that so? Komachi thinks it's a good thing... Hehe, it's alright. Anyway, we don't need this sofa anymore, right?"

"Hmm. There's no need for such a lazybones; we already have a furry thing like that at home."

When Komachi heard me say that, she immediately nodded to show that she understood.

"Oh, Little Snow? But it'll be very happy to see this, and it might even spend the whole day nestled on it."

Yes, yes, very likely. Why do cats always try to monopolize the sofa or blankets? And it's not just cats that do this. Yuihama thought of something and clapped her hands.

"Yes, that's right—the shortbread at home would probably like to jump around on it too! I'll buy one too!"

"Forget it, it'll probably just get stuck... and my cat's nest is on top of it, so it won't be able to get up either."

At that moment, Yukinoshita suddenly stopped moving.

"...The cat is snuggling up here...What an adorable cat."

Did she...did she tell some really lame joke? (Note 80: The original text for "cat's nest" above is "猫が寝ころんだら". "猫" and "寝こ" are pronounced the same.)...No, she spoke so softly, maybe I misheard. I looked at Yukinoshita, and she had already put on a serious expression, looking right at me.

"Hachiman, after thinking about it, I think you should buy one. Pets are part of the family too, and if you value spending Christmas with your family, you should prepare a gift for it."

"Don't wear that smug smile, like you're saying 'My theory is perfect,' okay? Your argument is riddled with holes, like a honeycomb..."

I understand now. It's because her theory is riddled with flaws, just like a honeycomb, that she laughed like that (Note 81: The original word for "smile" here is "はにかむ," pronounced the same as "honeycomb"). Right… Just as I was thinking about how to politely decline her suggestion, Komachi tugged at my sleeve and chimed in:

"Oh, brother, look! There's a smaller sofa over here too, it looks really nice!"

I looked in the direction Komachi had pointed out and found a miniature version of the beanbag chair. Yukinoshita gently touched it a few times and nodded in satisfaction.

"This size is also large enough for a cat. What do you think, Hachiman?"

"The criteria for judgment have completely become cat-like... I'll think about it. Let's go somewhere else first."

If I kept dragging this out, I might actually be persuaded to buy a lazy cat's bone, so I quickly brushed it off. Then, everyone prepared to go their separate ways.

"Okay. See you later."

I left this place as they watched me go.

× × ×

After buying the gifts for the exchange, along with a few other things, I headed to the cake shop to meet the others.

I picked up the paper bag containing the gifts and checked the time.

"Phew... Anyway, at least I got a gift... The meeting point is nearby, so there shouldn't be any problems."

The time is almost up...

Everyone was about to show up, so I stayed put and waited, while fiddling with my phone. Just then, I heard a lazy voice, like that of a night shift convenience store clerk.

"Welcome! Welcome!"

"Hmm? That annoying voice sounds familiar..."

I gave the source of the voice a look that said, "You're so annoying." It turned out to be someone dressed as Santa Claus, listlessly hawking cakes at the store entrance.

"Welcome! Welcome!"

Although he was incredibly annoying, I couldn't leave since this was the meeting point. I tried my best to ignore his voice, but it was so irritating that I couldn't help but glance at him. And that's how my eyes met Santa's.

"...Ah. Hmm? Isn't that comparing penguins?"

Santa Claus called out my name with an air of nonchalance. Oh, what's this? It's the Ministry of Revenue. No wonder I've been feeling so annoyed ever since.

"Oh, you startled me. It was you... You suddenly struck up a conversation like that, I thought you were a friend..."

The way the Minister of Revenue acted as if we were old friends was a bit unbearable for me. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to care at all and continued talking to himself.

"Wow—what a coincidence to run into you here! I'm working at this cake shop right now, it's super relaxing~"

"Oh, no wonder you dressed up as Santa Claus... Wait, isn't it strange that you're so idle at your part-time job?"

"Because there are no customers~~ It's super boring~"

The Minister of Revenue tugged at his hairline, speaking listlessly. But even if he was bored, I couldn't keep him company; at most, I'd respond with a few listless words.

"Right."

"Yeah~"

"oh……"

Seriously! I'm so bored.

"Is that so..."

At this point in the conversation, the Minister of Revenue finally realized that continuing in this manner would not yield any new insights. He paused for a moment, looking slightly embarrassed.