My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 241

Yuihama's head started to spin after Yukinoshita corrected her. I understood her confusion; Salia did indeed have this dish, listed on the menu as "Mediterranean-style pilaf" with a note later saying "risotto."

Seafood risotto served under the snow. Besides seafood as the main ingredient, it was garnished with plenty of meat and vegetables, and the rice, cooked with saffron, had a vibrant color. In the rising steam, I could faintly smell the Mediterranean breeze… though I've never been to the Mediterranean.

Since I managed to force myself to eat the previous dish from Yuigahama, Totsuka will have the first turn to try it. Since it's Yukinoshita's food, there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

After I politely offered, Totsuka's face lit up with a bright smile, and he eagerly scooped up a spoonful.

"Wow~ Yukinoshita-san's cooking is amazing!"

"It's nothing special, just a matter of experience."

Yukinoshita's tone was as calm as usual, and I believe she wasn't saying this to hide her shyness, but because she genuinely thought so.

After Totsuka finished eating, it was my turn. From the rice's doneness to the perfect balance of ingredients, and the appetizing presentation, the dish was flawless. However… I couldn't sense that this was the kind of food a bride would cook.

"It's delicious, so delicious, I don't even know how to describe it..." I really can't think of anything to say.

At that moment, Yuihama raised her hand.

"Me! Me! Me! I want to try it too!"

"Okay, okay~ Let's all eat together later~"

Komachi tactfully interrupted her request.

"Okay, next up is Komachi's potato stew."

Although the dish looked simple, I knew Komachi's cooking skills better than anyone, and it tasted just as delicious as the ones she made at home—wait a minute, why is even Komachi participating in the competition? I have no intention of letting her get married, so there's no point in raising her bride status any higher.

"Hmm, not bad, the same as usual. But, you cheated a bit by choosing this dish."

"Tsk, the close relationship has become a mistake..."

Komachi clicked her tongue, and Totsuka quickly smoothed things over.

"But it's really delicious!"

This statement, both simple and straightforward, felt all the more genuine. Komachi was touched by his warmth, and tears welled in her eyes.

"Waaah, Totsuka-nii is such a good person... He's so good at being a bride..."

"I think so too..."

To be honest, Totsuka's bride-like qualities far surpassed those of the others. Komachi and I sighed for different reasons.

The next moment, Komachi shook her head and regained her senses.

"Ah, no, no, let's move on to the next one! Finally, it's time for the grand finale, Hiratsuka-sensei!"

Ms. Hiratsuka strode forward, her face beaming with a confident smile, living up to Komachi's description.

"What dishes has the teacher prepared?"

"Hehe, this is it!"

With a click, the teacher lifted the silver lid, revealing a dish brimming with "meat"—a huge amount of meat, bean sprouts, and a mountain of white rice.

Everywhere you look, there is meat, meat, meat. The abundance of meat slices seems to awaken the ferocious animalistic nature within humans, and the enticing aroma almost completely destroys the senses of satiety.

I recognize this combination of ingredients; I can't go wrong—

"This...this is just...stir-frying bean sprouts with meat, then drizzling on a generous amount of barbecue sauce and serving it straight away!"

"Can that even be called a dish...?"

Ignoring Yukinoshita's question, Hiratsuka-sensei looked over smugly.

"How's Hachiman?"

I'm so unwilling... but it feels so good! (Note 7: A famous line from a comic by the doujin circle Crimson Comics.) (I mean, the feeling.)

Although I was extremely unwilling, I still had to admit...

"Delicious...it's so delicious...how can the barbecue sauce be so good..."

"Shouldn't you be praising me?"

Ms. Hiratsuka glared at me, veins popping out on her forehead. But wait a minute, if this counts as a dish, I could make it myself; besides, doesn't choosing this dish seem a bit low-class for a bride?

× × ×

Finally, we realized that cooking alone was not enough to determine the bride's "degree," so we moved on to the next stage of the competition.

"Next up is a question-and-answer session: 'What would you do in this situation?'"

After loudly announcing the details of the second stage of the competition, Komachi, without providing any further explanation, ushered the contestants to sit in a row at the long table. Totsuka remained in his original judging seat, and the remains of Zaimokuza were left as they were. This time, the Service Club had asked Komachi for help, so naturally there was no reason to disobey her instructions, and everyone could only obediently take their seats.

"Komachi will read out the test questions for the bride's status. Please write down your answers from the bride's perspective."

A case study conducted in the form of a question-and-answer session… I see. So, the person answering the questions has to sit at that long table, right? I get it. Therefore, where I should sit is quite obvious.

"Alright, let's begin right away... Wait, why is brother sitting there...?"

"Because my goal is to become a stay-at-home dad."

Komachi didn't understand why I moved my seat, but my answer couldn't be simpler. During the cooking competition, I couldn't participate because of my judging duties, but compared to those girls, my "bride" factor was definitely much higher. Now, let me show them what a bride should really be like.

"Hachiman, do your best!"

Totsuka waved to me, and I smiled back. Komachi, deciding not to argue, gave me a knowing smile, saying, "I really can't do anything with my brother."

"Okay, that's fine. Now, Komachi has a question! What do you do when your mother-in-law complains about your cleaning methods?" Please write your answers on the board!

Ah, there's an answer board. I looked around and sure enough, I found a board and a pen. "Komachi," I said, "when did you prepare all this stuff...?"

After hearing the question, I wrote down the answer without even thinking. Since there was still plenty of time to answer, I observed how the others were doing. I saw Yuihama make a muttering "Hmm..." sound, Yukinoshita quickly and expressionlessly wrote down the answer, and Hiratsuka-sensei was waving his pen boldly while muttering to himself.

"Okay, please reveal the answer!"

After confirming that everyone had finished writing, Komachi pointed to Yuihama on the far right and asked everyone to show their answers in turn.

"Hey~" Yuihama flipped open her answer board, "Apologize to Grandma, and then clean again."

This answer is very much in her style, but I've seen it on TV before. If a mother-in-law doesn't like her daughter-in-law, no matter how much the daughter-in-law apologizes, the mother-in-law will never give up. Therefore, I don't think this is a good solution. I feel like Yuihama will have a very difficult time after marriage…

Next up was Yukino, who flipped open the answer sheet with a bored expression.

"Explain the rationale behind your cleaning methods from the beginning."

This answer is very much in Yukinoshita's style; I dare say she'd refute the other person until they were completely speechless, so there shouldn't be any problem. Moreover, not only her future mother-in-law, but her future husband would probably never be able to win an argument with her in his entire life—it's truly exhausting… I'm referring to the people around Yukinoshita.

Next up was Ms. Hiratsuka, who, with the same confident smile, showed off her answer.

"Communicate with fists."

Hmm... communicating through body language, is that it? I understand, I understand. It's like having a "duel brain"—solving every problem with a duel, right? (Note 8 alludes to Yu-Gi-Oh!) If we try to interpret it in a positive light, this approach acknowledges the differences between the two parties in order to achieve reconciliation; if we interpret it in a more general way, it becomes: "What is this person actually saying?"

Finally, it was my turn, and I held up my answer board.

"The miso soup was made extra salty."

This method serves as a constant reminder of revenge, a release of pent-up resentment, and a way to ignite new flames that blur the focus, causing the mother-in-law to forget about the cleaning duties. It evokes the feeling of "getting revenge in Nagasaki for the Edo period" (Note 9: a Japanese proverb meaning to exact revenge in an unexpected or unrelated place). Slowly consuming her with the saltiness of miso soup—isn't victory within reach...?

"Wow, everyone's answers are so unique... So, the teacher and the older brother's answers will be deleted first."

Komachi glanced at our answers, then smiled wryly and made a fork shape with her fingers. "Won't work... Slowly killing Grandma with saltiness is clearly not going to work. It seems the right solution is to slowly kill her with sweetness. Compared to saltiness, the tongue is probably less likely to notice sweetness."

Then again, there's no standard answer to this kind of question, right? I had just thought that when Komachi pulled out an answer board from behind her back, which was probably what she considered the ideal answer.

"Komachi's ideal answer is: 'Complain to your mother and try harder tomorrow.'"

"What a realistic answer!"

Yuihama disagreed, and I think so too. It's like you're in deep trouble, yet still trying your best? Is someone in your family that difficult to please?

Although Komachi's answer was quite heavy, she didn't take it to heart and cheerfully moved on to the next question.

"Let's continue~ Next up is the second question—"

At this point, she suddenly started acting in a play.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, but my husband is so useless, he's completely hopeless. We're probably going to be strapped for cash this month..."

She blew her nose, her expression quite gloomy. Yukinoshita looked at her and murmured:

"Oh dear, she looks exactly like someone else."

"Really~" Yuihama nodded vigorously.

"After all, there are men like that in the world. A good wife is one who can be their pillar of support."

"Ms. Hiratsuka added this with a very serious expression. Wait a minute, could you please not look at me while I was saying those things?"

Komachi was interrupted halfway through reading the question, so she put her hands on her hips and frowned unhappily.

"Komachi hasn't finished reading the question yet! In this situation, how would you handle your child's Christmas present?"

This time, after she finished reading the question, she deliberately tilted her head to one side to act cute, and everyone started answering at the same time.

The ticking of the second hand and the creaking of the pen against the answer sheet mingled together. When the time was almost up, Komachi spoke again.

"Time's up! Reveal your answer!"

This time, it will start with Yuihama as well.

"Give me inexpensive toys."

Yes, settling for less is indeed a safe approach. However, children's understanding of the value of toys far exceeds adults' imagination. They might notice when their parents switch to giving them cheaper toys, and from then on, they might become children who know how to be considerate of the occasion when speaking and acting.

Next comes the snow.

"Book."

I see. A wonderful reading experience can be an irreplaceable source of happiness. Of course, what books parents choose is also important. This is a very cost-effective gift, and it certainly sounds like the answer a book lover would write.

The third is Hiratsuka-sensei, whose smile remains unchanged.

"A Blu-ray collector's edition of an animated masterpiece."

That was the gift you wanted, wasn't it?

It was my turn last.

Tell your children: "Santa Claus doesn't give presents to bad children."

...These are the words my dad said to me. What a terrible thing that guy did to my young mind... Although my mom later prepared a gift for me, in the end, there was no problem. However, back then, as a child, I was determined to put Santa Claus on my kill list...

After reading everyone's answers, Komachi slapped her forehead.

"Ah~~ No one heard the question clearly. The key point of this question is 'how to handle it'."

She held up her index finger to explain. It turned out the question wasn't about what gift to give the child.

"Now, let's see what Komachi thinks is the standard answer~"

Komachi picked up her board and read out the answer.

"Leave it to your grandparents to handle."

"Is that alright...?"

Yukinoshita looked bewildered, casting a somewhat cold glance at Komachi. Komachi clicked her tongue, pointed at herself, and said:

"No problem. Grandpa and Grandma dote on their granddaughter so much, it's so sweet. This is from Komachi's own experience."

Hearing her say that, I instantly realized it was true. Back when I was just a clueless little kid, my grandparents were also very good to me.

"That's true. But when my younger siblings were born, all the affection was taken away."

"Ah, this is the melancholy of the eldest son."

"Ms. Hiratsuka chuckled sarcastically. But I'm not that depressed. Besides, I'm the one who spoils Komachi the most in the family right now."

At that moment, Komachi looked up at the judges' panel.

"Hmm, I wonder what Totsuka-nii, who is serving as a judge, thinks after seeing this?"

After silently watching us for a long while, Totsuka finally smiled brightly and answered:

"Hmm...receiving books for Christmas is such a wonderful experience!"

Okay, I've decided on a Christmas gift for him this year! A book, please! So, what book… since Totsuka plays tennis, a tennis-related book would be best, or a fairy tale or a classic novel would also be nice. I personally recommend *The Little Prince*. So, taking a middle ground, I'll give him *The Prince of Tennis*! Excellent!

As I was lost in thought, Totsuka's interview came to an end, and Komachi brought the camera back to the duel.

"Okay~ Thank you so much for your feedback, Totsuka-nii! Now, let's move on to the last question!"

She returned to performing in plays.