My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 249

"Ah, youth is wonderful..."

Please, someone come and marry her quickly!

At the same time, another person, with a complicated expression, stood watching from a distance.

"Ah, sigh... I never expected an ambush... Komachi's brilliant plan has fallen apart... My brother's romantic comedy was a mistake after all..."

Haha, what a pity, Komachi.

Regardless of the strategy you choose, the older brother was still quite happy to receive an invitation from a boy.

...It seems that my brother is even more of a disappointment.

Volume 7.5 SS3 Short Story ③ Unexpectedly, Hachiman Hikigaya's study method was not wrong.

The school anniversary celebrations have come to an end, and as autumn approaches, a chilly atmosphere has settled into the Service Club's office—thanks to the "Chiba-dori Troubleshooting Mailbox" right in front of us. Today's mailbox once again contained a question that made us shake our heads in disbelief. After reading it aloud, Yuihama silently groaned, "Oh my god..."

"Master Hachiman... I want to write a bestselling light novel (trembling voice)."

Yukinoshita didn't even bother to close the paperback she was halfway through reading this time, and said directly to me:

"Hachiman, the other person has specifically asked you to answer."

Thank you for referring me! I'm Hachiman~♪ (V-sign)

If I don't force myself to cheer myself up, I'll really break down. Can't we just blacklist this guy's domain? I'm burning with anger at the dark side of the information society, furiously pounding on the keyboard.

In my opinion, there are five indispensable elements for a bestselling light novel: illustrations, a good publisher, the absence of the third and fourth, and strong promotion. Please keep these five points in mind and work hard.

Yukinoshita squinted at my reply and asked in surprise:

"So, where should writers focus their efforts...?"

"One of the three or four."

Yuihama looked up from the screen, also taken aback by the contents of the reply.

"...Is it really not necessary to work hard?"

"If it's just about making money, it doesn't matter if you don't put in the effort. The other party's inquiry wasn't about 'interesting light novels,' but about 'bestselling light novels,' and the two aren't necessarily the same thing."

"Oh..." Yuigahama sighed admiringly, and Yukinoshita nodded in understanding. That's right, "bestseller" doesn't equal "fun," so GAGAGA Bunko, I love you so much! I look forward to seeing more works that clearly say, "I just don't cater to popular tastes!"

After resolving a consultation—a correction—it was as if a hot potato had been dealt with, and Yukinoshita finally felt relieved, allowing her to read the next letter.

"Now, next consultation. This person lives in Chiba City and uses the pen name 'I'm just here for a consultation, there's no need to tell you my name.'"

The Troubles of Using the Pen Name "I'm Just Here for Consultation, There's No Need for Me to Tell You My Name"

My younger brother is taking the high school entrance exam this year. Are there any effective study methods?

This person speaks rudely, even his pen name exudes hostility, and when he mentions his younger brother... no matter what I think, all I want is that person.

"Yukinoshita, this is something you're better at."

Hearing me say that, Yukinoshita stroked her chin and began to think.

"It works... But I'm usually busy studying, so I haven't paid much attention... If we're being honest, aren't you the one who's best at cramming before exams?"

"At least I know some test-taking skills, okay... But my method is very ordinary: I practice a lot of old questions and thoroughly review the questions I got wrong; if necessary, I write down the whole question."

"I didn't expect it to be so standard..."

Yukinoshita was genuinely surprised, but you know what? That's really rude... Oh well, I did think about how to cram at the last minute, but it was just too much trouble to put into practice.

"Although there are some test-taking techniques, you still need to practice repeatedly to become proficient."

People often say, "There are no shortcuts to learning."

Yukino said this seriously. It seems that the discussion will inevitably lead to this conclusion in the end.

"Then, let's reply in this direction."

I began to think about what to write in my reply. At that moment, Yui could no longer contain herself and suddenly stood up to protest.

"Wait a minute, why didn't you ask me! He also took the high school entrance exam; he got in through exams too!"

However, Yukinoshita completely ignored her, continuing to look at the computer screen, and then softly uttered an "Ah".

"Wait a minute, this letter isn't over yet... Also, tell me how to perk myself up when I'm tired of studying."

"Yuihama, it's finally your turn! Let Mi do the talking-to!"

"Your smile is infuriating! And people are actually thinking about things seriously!"

Yuihama angrily snatched the computer away and began typing on the keyboard, word by word.

"How about the older sister studying alongside her younger brother? Constantly urging him might make him resentful. The most effective way to study is to study when you're motivated (that's how it was for me). So, if Kawasaki studies with her brother, he'll naturally feel, 'I need to work hard too!' Also, helping him with things he doesn't understand can improve his efficiency! After studying, talking to him about happy things from high school should boost his spirits! Good luck!"

"Hmph~" She finished typing the last word and gave a smug smile. Well, I can understand how she felt. Besides, Yukino and I were both a little surprised after reading the reply.

"...It's rare to see such a serious reply."

"Yes, it's rare to see Yuihama-san reply so earnestly."

"That's what's rare!"

Yuihama cried and pounded Yukinoshita's chest with her small fists. But unfortunately, when a serious reply becomes rare, it means the event is doomed.

Volume 7.5 SAB SIDE-B * Special Act.B They have not yet found their home.

With the regular exams over, the rainy season also came to an end.

Although we've said goodbye to days of constant rain, Mother Nature often seems to anticipate our return home from school and unleash a sudden downpour that catches us off guard. The sticky, damp air that blankets the entire sky hasn't yet dissipated.

My school, Zongwu High School, is located by the sea, so it receives more moisture from the ocean. The damp sea breeze often causes bicycles and paint to become mottled and exposed iron frames to rust.

Despite the humid and hot weather, my mood was surprisingly high.

With summer vacation just around the corner, Reality has already made plans for fun, while Lone Ranger is finally free from the prison called "school" and naturally becomes more energetic.

It's no exaggeration to say that this is the magic of summer.

High temperatures can easily cause people to exhibit abnormal behavior.

Therefore, without realizing it, my behavior began to become abnormal, and even I was puzzled by my own unusual behavior.

The sun doesn't shine through the space between the back of the school buildings and the new building, making it much cooler than other areas. From an aerial view, the main school buildings of Soubu High School are shaped like the Chinese character "口" (kou), with the new building standing alone, largely unfamiliar to most students. Although there are occasional people coming and going from the martial arts arena on the lower level of the gymnasium and the sports club offices, it's at least not during the current lunch break.

Therefore, there is no third party here except for me and one other person.

During lunch break, the students' minds were already on the upcoming summer vacation.

The breeze that brushed against my face carried a faint scent of the tide.

Behind the deserted hut, a secret moment just for the two of us—it sounds just like the vibrant, burning days of youth.

However, this is not the case at all.

"Ha, ha, ha, my nemesis Hachiman, you've finally appeared!"

That idiot's pretentious act was almost unbearable, so I responded in a completely listless voice:

"Sword Master General, you have nowhere to escape!"

If you were to describe how flat these words were, even the cameo voice actors and film directors probably pronounced them with more emotion than I did. The next moment, the timber stand in front of me suddenly took on a posture that was utterly disgusting.

This is reality.

In fact, Timber and I simply hid behind the secluded school building to avoid being seen; as for the smell of dampness, I think it was probably just the smell of our sweat. Wow, narrative traps are terrifying!

I was leisurely having lunch at my usual spot, enjoying the view of Totsuka practicing tennis in the distance, when I was caught red-handed by Zaimokuza.

Then, Zaimokuza insisted that I read the outline of his novel. By the time I came to my senses, my body had already automatically started playing a game of chuunibyou (middle school syndrome) with him in the middle of summer.

This is the real me, this is my summer in my second year of high school. Summer in Japan is not summer in Kincho at all (Note 31: "Summer in Kincho, Summer in Japan" is an advertising slogan for the Japanese insect repellent company KINCHO.)

"Hmph... What's wrong? What do you mean by having no motivation at all! Why don't you get into a fighting stance! This is no way I'm going to get any inspiration for the character!"

He stomped his feet in dissatisfaction and complained.

There's no way around it, that's really asking too much of anyone...

Because I told Zaimokuza that I couldn't understand his outline, he went ahead and performed the actual demonstration. By the time I realized it, things had already escalated to this point.

But even if you try to reason with Timber, you won't get through to him. That's just the kind of person he is. In situations like this, the best approach isn't to argue with him, but to appeal to his emotions.

I gave him a disdainful smile.

"...You mean this posture? This is called 'Invisible Position,' where you don't adopt any posture and simply let the attack pass you by."

"What's that? It looks so cool!"

Although it was just a casual borrowing of knowledge from "The Divine Swordsman's Adventures," this guy was completely hooked. He quickly pulled out his smartphone and started typing furiously, as if afraid of forgetting valuable information. To be honest, I was initially hesitant about using the Heaven and Earth Demon Battle Strategy, but since the Formless Position can also be used as a reference for him, it's a good thing.

"Hmm! After nullifying the attack, follow up with a preaching punch. This will become popular..."

The woodworker muttered to himself, but I ignored him and leaned against the wall. Now that his troubles were resolved, I should be free, right?

Forced to look at this pile of stuff that might lower my IQ, I broke out in a cold sweat. A gust of wind blew across my flushed cheeks, and I immediately felt completely refreshed.

I turned my body slightly, intending to imitate the iconic image of TMRevolution singing in the wind. At that moment, a strange sight came into view.

Several men in judo uniforms walked towards them, looking dejected. Judo uniforms usually give people an impression of strength and power, but these men looked rather weak and frail.

I never imagined that besides my angel Saika Totsuka, the judo club would also practice during lunch break. Oh! Totsuka, you are my angel! I will try my best to answer the questions correctly and raise you (Note 32 refers to a past game where you earned money by answering trivia questions to raise a child; it was called "子育てクイズマイエンジェル").

Totsuka was always so happy, so cute, and so refreshing when she practiced tennis at noon, but the group of people passing by me now are not like that at all.

Well, you can't blame them; Totsuka is just different. Totsuka is so cute, being different is adorable! If you say that sentence quickly, your tongue might get tied.

On the other hand, the judo club members, who are neither unique nor cute and could not possibly be Totsuka, have no life on their faces, all look exhausted, and walk like zombies... Hey, are you office workers?

I slid down the wall and sat on the ground, glancing sideways as the group of judo club members left.

The wood carrier looked at them with a puzzled expression.

"Hmm...that group of people is a bit suspicious."

"Really? Compared to you, I think they're much more normal."

The only people I can think of who would wear a coat on a sweltering day are psychopaths and Black Jack.

"Ahem. That's right, in my class, this has long been something only sword masters possess—"

Zaimokuza seemed to interpret my words as praise, letting out a smug hum. If I remember correctly, "positive thinking" in Japanese means "self-righteous idiot," right?

But now that things have come to this, it's pointless for me to criticize his arrogance. That's just his personality; there's no saving him.

I shifted my gaze from the timber pedestal to the judo club members around the corner, and then something suddenly occurred to me.

"By the way, did you choose kendo for your PE class?"

Currently, the physical education class for second-year students is martial arts, and everyone must choose to learn either judo or kendo.

Whichever I choose, I'll inevitably have to spend money on equipment for class. The complete set of clothing required for kendo is too expensive, so I'll choose judo. But I know that when I ask my parents for money, I'll definitely tell them, "I haven't decided which one to choose yet, give me the money for the kendo uniform first." Please call me the alchemist of money, FULLMETAL JACKET (Note 33: the 1987 film, Chinese title: "Golden Armor Squad").

Since I chose judo, and Zaimokuza was nowhere to be seen in judo class, we can use elimination to deduce that he chose kendo. It's also possible that Zaimokuza's very existence was completely eliminated.

"Hmm, that's right, I'll definitely choose Kendo. Is there a problem?"

"No... I just feel sorry for the people who practice in the same group as you."

Physical education class is troublesome enough, but if you also encounter this guy's home turf—kendo—the level of annoyance will only increase.

"No need to worry, I have the power to control myself and I won't use it on ordinary students."

"Oh, I see..."

If we were to translate Zaimokuza's words into plain language, it would roughly be something like this: "It's embarrassing for others to see that kind of setup... so I've been restraining myself. I... I only want Hachiman to see that kind of setup!" What the hell?! It's disgusting!

That said, as long as the woodwork doesn't bother others, there's no problem. The reason lone wolves are allowed to exist in this world is precisely because they don't harm others. If a bird doesn't sing, it won't be targeted by hunters (Note 34: Japanese proverb, similar to "misfortune comes from the mouth"). However, compared to other birds, a silent bird is even less valuable, so hunters consider it worthless and don't bother with it. Is it treated like air, or becomes something everyone avoids like the plague? Either way, if it appeared in *Another*, it would have been dead long ago.

"How are you doing, Hachiman?"

The lumber carrier was displeased with my attitude and pouted, asking a question. However, my answer was quite ordinary and nothing surprising.

"The judo club members became our practice partners, and we constantly practiced 'getshin' (Note 35: the first lesson in judo, referring to the technique of reducing the impact on the body to gain safety when thrown by an opponent or when one falls down)."

"Hmm... I think they're not here to help you practice, they're here to be your babysitters..."

The woodcutter wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.