My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 278

Ye Shan gave a weak, self-deprecating laugh, his shoulders slumping, making his already taller frame appear much smaller.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that... I just did what I wanted to do."

"...Does that also include what Zheben and the others just said?"

His faint smile, like snow beneath a sharp edge, was completely different from the usual Hayato Hayama. That smile, though as bright as the sun, was utterly superficial.

I know perfectly well that Hayama said those things to Orimoto and the others to help me get revenge. Even so, I still don't understand why he would go to such lengths to ruin his established image.

"...Are you really sure it's okay for you to do that?"

"...It felt awful, and I definitely don't want to do it again."

Ye Shan bit his lip and answered painfully.

"Then why did you do that?"

I've had enough. I just don't understand how those good people's brains work. They're just robbing Peter to pay Paul in order to uphold the belief that "everyone should get along." The thing is, I never asked to join them.

Ye Shan plopped back down in his seat and gestured for me to sit down as well. I didn't do that and just stood there waiting for him to speak.

Ye Shan sighed helplessly, leaned forward slightly, and interlaced his fingers.

"...I've been thinking about how to salvage what I've destroyed."

"what?"

I couldn't understand what he was saying.

However, I could tell from his vague tone that he was deliberately avoiding the topic, and I also inadvertently sensed what he couldn't bring himself to say.

"I... had expectations of you, which is why I still asked you for a favor, even though I knew it all along. And the result..."

"Hello."

Stop talking.

I interrupted Hayama with a stronger tone than usual. That matter was over, it was in the past, and I had no intention of bringing it up again. To bring it up now would only reopen old wounds.

Ye Shan himself was unwilling to mention it, so he swallowed back what he was going to say and jumped directly to the conclusion.

"You should recognize your own worth... not just yours, but everyone else's too."

"What...are you saying?"

I didn't expect him to say that, and in my surprise, I spoke incoherently.

"But I know it's difficult... I wish there were a better way... This is all I can do."

Ye Shan gave a self-deprecating bitter laugh. After the laugh, he looked over with a very sad expression.

"...You've always done this, haven't you? Shouldn't you stop? Stop sacrificing yourself?"

"...Don't portray me as someone like you."

The emotions stuck in his throat transformed into a low, resonant voice in the space. This short sentence was a mixture of anxiety, anger, and a touch of sorrow.

Ah... this feeling is so complicated, I feel like there's a time bomb inside me.

You've cornered me, bringing me to such a close place, so why did you turn wrong at the last intersection?

In some corner of my heart, I think there must be some expectation. A secret hope that Hayama might have understood the truth.

However, I was wrong.

Stop using that condescending attitude to pity or sympathize with me.

Hayama, you've got it wrong. I only helped you because I pitied you. But you have absolutely no reason to pity me.

Emotions that defy description burst forth from my lips.

"Sacrifice? Don't be ridiculous. To me, it's just a given."

Ye Shan just listened to me silently, without saying a word. Seeing that he treated me like a punching bag made me even angrier.

"I'm the kind of person who prefers to work alone. Since we've encountered a problem that absolutely needs to be solved, and only I have a solution, of course I'll help you think of a solution!"

In my world, there is only me. And in the things that happen before my eyes, only I am involved.

"So what happens to the people around me has nothing to do with me. What happens in front of me is always my personal business. Don't try to interfere or meddle."

This world is made up of my subjective perception.

If I fail because of my own choices, I will have no complaints; however, if someone else takes that result, that's a completely different matter.

That was using the name of "salvation" to carry out the act of "usurpation".

I glared at Ye Shan, and Ye Shan glared back.

Then, he loosened his fists, which he had unconsciously clenched, and lowered his gaze helplessly.

"You...you save others, isn't it because you hope they'll save you in return?"

Upon hearing this, it finally dawned on me—

Hayama still didn't understand anything.

According to him, everything I have done for others so far has been driven by self-interest.

Even if Hachiman Hikigaya is truly like that—

I also cannot stand by and watch him impose this kind of thinking on others.

Neither she nor I ever held that kind of thought.

"No, that's not it..."

I'm too lazy to even glare at him anymore.

I don't care about those lukewarm acts of kindness and sympathy; those melodramatic, tear-jerking youth dramas that are just for show only make me want to rush to the trash can and vomit.

As long as it's a story of youth, someone is destined to be a loser. Therefore, the possibility that I might become the winner someday is not nonexistent. And when that time comes, Hayama, who appears before me, might also become the loser.

This is what's known as a "zero-sum game." If someone benefits, someone else suffers an equal loss—that's all. Even the champions of youth can have their stance reversed by a single misstep.

However, you still use a condescending attitude to label others just to get a moment's pleasure.

Please stop. Stop pitying me and showing me any more sympathy. That kind of comfortable environment only makes people complacent.

I grabbed my schoolbag.

"Stop presumptuously pitying me. It's really uncomfortable. Labeling me only adds to my troubles."

After saying that, I turned and walked down the stairs.

I left the coffee shop at a faster pace than usual and walked all the way back to the vicinity of the station. Even though no one was chasing me, my feet just wouldn't stop.

That's how I got to the bicycle parking area.

The night sky is dotted with starlight.

Several bicycles couldn't withstand the strong wind and lay on the ground like toppled dominoes. Unfortunately, my bicycle was at the very bottom. I had no choice but to bend down and pull the bicycles off one by one.

“…You must be joking.”

Even I wonder, who was this sentence meant for?

I do not allow others to call my actions self-sacrifice.

I maximize efficiency and exert the greatest value using only a very small number of cards. How can there be any sacrifice? This is the most unbearable humiliation and a serious insult to those who are struggling to survive.

Who wants to sacrifice themselves for you? Stop being so self-righteous.

Even without physical form or verbal expression—

I still hold firm to my beliefs.

This is probably the only belief that I share with someone, and that I've long since lost.

Volume 8, Chapter 6: Thus, Yui Yuigahama declared...

For me, spending weekends doing nothing is nothing new, but the decadence I've been in these past two days is something even I can hardly stand.

I slept soundly until noon, only slowly getting up to eat. Then I collapsed onto the sofa to while away the time, waiting for the gentle call of sleep. When I opened my eyes again, day had turned into dusk. After dinner, I continued to drift through the time in a daze, waiting for sleepiness to come and take away my consciousness.

I repeated the above process twice, and my weekend came to an end.

There was a persistent bitter, abrasive sensation in my mouth, as if it were sticky powder that I couldn't wash off.

By Monday, the feeling hadn't subsided; in fact, I felt even more depressed.

On my way to school by bike, the sky was covered with dark clouds, the wind blowing in my face was bitterly cold, and the pedals were incredibly heavy.

Upon arriving at the school, I dragged my heavy steps into the school building. The wind seeping in through the cracks constantly wore down my patience.

Fortunately, it got a little warmer once we entered the classroom where there were other people.

Nevertheless, the atmosphere in the space was still more gloomy than usual. My intuition told me that it couldn't be just the weather. The classroom was filled with the same faces and the same seats, but it was just less noisy.

The main reason is that the key figure in the class is particularly depressed today.

The conversation coming from the back of the classroom didn't sound as usual.

Even the notoriously noisy Ministry of Revenue wisely lowered its voice.

"Hayato, what are the club activities for today?"

"Hmm... let's start a little earlier."

Hayama's voice was no different, except that he spoke much less frequently. This atmosphere naturally affected those around him.

"Oh right, your club suspended practice last Friday."

Ooka casually mentioned it, and Yamato nodded in agreement. They were both sports clubs that shared a large playground, so they were well aware of each other's activities.

But Ooka, of all people, brought up the very thing he didn't want to talk about. Miura, upon hearing one of the words, murmured:

"Friday……"

She seemed distracted, as if muttering in her sleep. Ebina sensed something was wrong, slammed her hands on the desk, and stood up abruptly.

"Oh no, Yumiko! 'Friday' and 'today' sound so similar (Note 27: The Japanese pronunciation of 'Friday' is kin-you-bi (金曜日), and the Japanese pronunciation of 'today' is kyou (今日)). I can't tell who's the top and who's the bottom!"

"Friday……"

This time, it was Yuihama who murmured.

"Okay—Yui, you agree that Friday should be the top, right? What about you, Tobe?"

Ebina suddenly posed a question to the Ministry of Revenue, leaving him momentarily at a loss for how to respond.

"Huh? Wait a minute, Friday... Ah!"

Fortunately, he had a sudden inspiration and thought of a way to respond. He excitedly stood up from his seat, knocking over his chair in the process.

"Of course it's today! Who else would be so enthusiastic?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying! I think so too!"

Kebu and Ebina insisted on pulling Ooka and Yamato together for an excited high-five.

"yeah--"

"Yahoo—"

They were all panting heavily after giving each other a high five. But Hayama just smiled gently, while Miura and Yuihama continued to sigh.

...Their efforts are truly admirable.

However, they had no choice but to do so.

In any case, that was exactly the kind of relationship they wanted to maintain.

× × ×

During the first and second periods, I simply listened quietly to the teacher's lecture.

The third period passed smoothly, followed by the fourth period.

Just hang in there a little longer, and lunch break will begin. But the atmosphere in the classroom will probably be the same as in the morning. Anyway, I never eat lunch in the classroom, so it doesn't affect me much. However, what will the other classes think when a class known throughout the school for being incredibly noisy suddenly becomes quiet?

Actually, perhaps no one even noticed. For example, during this morning's classes, the teachers didn't seem to notice anything unusual.

The fourth lesson is modern Chinese.

After the school bell rang, Ms. Hiratsuka walked into the classroom. She looked around at everyone and asked with a puzzled expression.

"Hmm...you guys seem unusually well-behaved today...that's alright, let's begin class."