My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

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Although I didn't have to do it, the habit I'd developed in the office over the past few days made me unconsciously look for topics to talk about.

"Hmm—are you here to buy something?"

"Yeah...and what are you doing here at this time?"

As usual, Yukinoshita maintained her unchanging expression and spoke coldly.

I left the club early today, and it's very unusual for me to be hanging around here at this time, so it's no wonder Yukinoshita is suspicious. If possible, I should try to avoid running into her here, but since I've already encountered her, there's nothing I can do about it.

I scratched my cheek and looked away.

"Um... I have some things to take care of."

I cannot tell the truth, so I can only vaguely gloss over it with abstract sentences; but I also cannot lie, so I can only say things that have no meaning.

Yukinoshita lowered her gaze, nodded, and murmured:

"yes……"

Then, she raised her head and spoke the words she had hesitated for so long. Her tightly clenched lips trembled slightly, and her eyes, which were looking directly at me, were also wavering.

"...You're helping Isshiki, aren't you?"

The tone of those words was very soft, devoid of any domineering air, as fragile as frost falling at night, as if it would shatter at the slightest touch. And because of this, they sounded particularly cold to me.

I think Yuihama didn't tell her about this; Yukinoshita probably noticed it herself. For several days, she probably turned a blind eye to my behavior until she saw something unusual and couldn't help but ask.

"Well...actually, I had no choice in the matter..."

No matter how vague I try to explain, it won't change the facts. Besides, I can't think of any other explanation. At this point, further denial is pointless.

"You don't need to tell that kind of lie at all."

Yukinoshita gazed at the empty ground in the cold wind. She considered Komachi's situation and the reasons for adding unnecessary details...

It was a lie.

"I didn't lie, that's one of the reasons."

"...That makes sense, it's definitely not a lie."

She said this with a self-deprecating smile, using her hands to tidy her wind-blown hair.

The scene before me reminded me of a similar conversation that had occurred before.

I firmly believed that Yukino Yukinoshita would not lie, so when I discovered that she hadn't told the truth, I was immediately disillusioned.

I feel disillusioned not with Yukinoshita, but with myself for imposing ideals on her in the past.

Now that the positions of both sides have reversed, how have I fared myself? I'm probably even worse than before. I've deceived myself into believing that "not telling the truth doesn't equal lying," accepted this argument, and even used it to justify myself.

I used to despise hypocrisy so much, yet now I openly exploit it for my own convenience, a practice I find utterly repulsive. Therefore, with a repentant heart, I say:

"...I'm sorry, I acted without permission."

Yukinoshita closed her eyes and gently shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. After all, I have neither the right nor the qualification to interfere with your personal actions. Or perhaps—"

She stopped there for the moment and gripped the bag hanging on her shoulder tightly.

"Do you need my permission?"

She turned her head to one side and looked at me with clear eyes. Her tone was gentle, without any reproach, but I felt an intense pain, as if a soft knife was pressed against my chest.

"...No, just checking."

I didn't know how to answer correctly, so I could only squeeze out this sentence. Perhaps in my heart, there isn't even a so-called correct answer.

I turned my gaze to Yukino, and there she was, just as she had been in the clubhouse, with a smile on her lips, a smile that seemed to reflect on the past.

"...Hmm. Then you don't need to apologize. Besides, Isshiki-san feels less guilty asking you for help."

Yukino finished speaking in one breath, her tone unhurried and deliberate. I listened quietly, thinking: If even an apology isn't allowed, what else can I say?

She gazed at the night sky, overcast with dark clouds, obscuring the stars. In the distance, the lights of the Bay Shore Industrial Zone illuminated the clouds like a murky orange haze.

"If it were you, you'd be able to solve problems on your own. Isn't that how it's always been?"

I don't think so. Before this, I had never solved a problem. Judging from Isshiki and Rumi's requests, they either ended up being left unresolved or I made a mess of things. I didn't save them at all.

"I've never solved any problems... Besides, I only do it alone because there's no one else around."

It's only natural to handle your own affairs. Whether a problem arises out of nowhere or you're dragged into it unnecessarily, once you get involved, it inevitably leads to your own problems. That's why I always handle things alone. That's all.

It is precisely because this realization is deeply ingrained in my heart that I readily ask others for help without first considering other feasible solutions, which always ends badly. In any case, someone who starts off on the wrong path is destined to fail, regardless of the means they use.

That's why I want to solve the problem myself. That's all.

During the past six months, Yukinoshita, who has been involved in club activities with me, should have experienced the same thing.

"Aren't you the same?"

I was convinced—no, I asked with anticipation. Yukino hesitated for a moment.

"I...I'm different from you."

She lowered her head, pressed her lips together, and clutched the cuff of her coat; through her loosened scarf, I saw her pale throat move slightly. She looked as if she couldn't breathe in the cold wind; it was the first time I had ever seen her like that under the snow.

She kept her head down and slowly squeezed out the words.

"I just thought I could do it... I thought I knew it very well."

When Yukinoshita says she "understands," does she mean herself, or me? In reality, it's probably the same for both. I wonder which side I truly believe I understand?

Even though I hadn't sorted out my thoughts, I realized I had to say something, so I started talking.

"I said, beneath the snow..."

At that moment, Yukinoshita raised her head and interrupted me in her usual calm voice, just as I was about to speak.

"How about we take a break from the club for a while? You don't need to worry about us; all that concern is unnecessary."

She spoke quickly, a clear smile returning to her face. Her composed expression was like that of a finely crafted ceramic doll displayed in a glass case.

"I don't care about you guys."

I know I shouldn't say this, but if I stay silent now, I will lose even that empty office.

That being said, the fact remains unchanged. No matter what words I use to make amends, I cannot correct the error.

Snow shook her head, and the bag on her shoulder slipped limply off.

"After that, you've been bothered by it a lot... so..."

I could barely make out her weak, barely audible voice, and I waited for her next words. But she changed the subject.

"Actually, you don't need to keep pushing yourself. If things get ruined like this, it means it's not that bad... doesn't it?"

This time I really can't say anything.

What Yukinoshita was talking about was something I once believed in, but never truly believed in.

Things that I stopped believing in after my graduation trip, Yukino still believes in deeply to this day.

At that time, I told a lie. My unwillingness to change, my desire to change, was thus distorted.

Ebina, Miura, and Hayama——

They crave a life of perpetual happiness, so they're willing to tell a few lies and deceive each other to maintain their existing relationship. Knowing this, I can't easily dismiss them.

That was their conclusion, a choice made in order to protect. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I projected those people onto myself and embraced their ideals. I also developed a fondness for that period of time and gradually felt regret for what I had lost.

Although we know in our hearts that such days will eventually leave us.

So I twisted my beliefs and lied to myself. Important things are irreplaceable; once lost, they can never be regained. Therefore, I deceived myself into believing I "must protect them."

What I did was not to protect, but to hold on tightly, thinking that this was how I protected them.

The question Yukinoshita is asking now is probably an ultimatum to me.

Not seeking meaning from things that are merely superficial—this was a common belief we held in the past.

Do I still hold this belief now?

I can't answer that. I've now realized that maintaining a semblance of integrity isn't entirely meaningless. It is indeed a practice, so I can't deny it.

A lonely gaze fell from beneath the snow, silently waiting for me to speak. Only when she understood that "silence" was my answer did she sigh softly and offer a fragile smile.

"You don't need to force yourself to join the club anymore..."

This statement is so gentle it's almost cruel.

Tap, tap—her footsteps echoed as she descended the stairs beneath the snow. Amidst the bustling crowd, the sound of her receding footsteps lingered in my ears.

He disappeared into the crowd beneath the snow. Although we were only a few steps apart, it felt so far away to me.

I couldn't make a sound, I could only watch her walk away, and finally collapsed onto the steps of the square.

It was then that I noticed that nearby shops were playing Christmas songs, and the Christmas tree decorated with gifts in the square was lit up.

Those gift boxes were probably empty.

It looks just like that office. But even if the box is empty, I still want it.

This is not a wish I would have.

× × ×

I just let my mind go blank, not thinking about anything, and sat on the steps watching the Christmas tree lights twinkle.

Only when the chill seeped into my body did I make up my mind, exhale a puff of white smoke, and stand up.

I checked the time; not much time had actually passed since I left Yukinoshita.

The station was filled with shoppers, people rushing home, and students who had just finished club activities. Everyone was talking and there was a lot of noise all around.

But incredibly, I found it surprisingly quiet.

Even as you walk from the square into the crowd, the surrounding sounds and Christmas carols go unheard. Only your own sighs are exceptionally clear.

I was walking slowly down the street when a group of people who had just exited the station appeared in front of me, which made me slow down even more.

The vehicles in the driveway showed no signs of movement. They were probably picking someone up from the station, or waiting for traffic to enter or exit the nearby parking lot.

One of the cars honked its horn. "Don't honk your horn on the main road, okay?" I gave the car driver an annoyed look, and several other people looked over as well.

It was a black sports car, a rare sight in this area, its long hood being its most distinctive feature. The sports car glided to my side, and the left window slowly rolled down.

"Hachiman, what are you doing here?"

Hiratsuka-sensei leaned out of the car.

"Oh, it's nothing, I was just about to go home... But what brings the teacher here?"

I never expected to run into Hiratsuka-sensei in a place like this. She chuckled softly in response to my question.

"Do you even need to ask? There's an event next week, and I went to the clubhouse to check on things, but everyone had already left, so I was about to head back when I saw you on the way."

"The teacher has a really good eye."

"Who taught me that I was assigned a student tutoring job? I'll start paying attention to anyone in uniform I see on the street."

She laughed self-deprecatingly, then gestured towards the seat next to her.

"That's fine then, I'll take you home."

"No need, it's alright."

"Don't be shy, get in the car quickly. The next car is coming."

Urged on by Mr. Kozuka, I looked behind me and saw a car approaching. Although reluctant, I had no other choice at the moment.

As I was about to open the door, I realized there was only one door on the left side of the vehicle; it was a two-seater. So I went around to the other side and got in from the right. Oh right, thinking about it, the driver's seat is definitely on the left...

After taking my seat, I fastened my seatbelt and looked around the interior. The seats and dashboard were covered in premium leather, and the gauges and controls gleamed with an aluminum metallic sheen, giving it a rather stylish feel.

"Teacher, I don't think I've seen this car before. It can't be the one from last summer, right?"

If I remember correctly, it was a fairly common van at the time.

"That's right, that one was rented. This one is my real car."

The teacher spoke happily, even slapping the steering wheel with his fist, his smug expression exuding a strong sense of masculinity. However, a single woman driving such an expensive two-seater sports car… well, how to put it? Dedicating herself to her hobby to this extent might just be one of the reasons she hasn't gotten married yet…

The sports car emitted a deep engine sound and sped off onto the road.