My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 568

She sat across from me, under the snow, holding an energy drink, tilting her head. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail today, and her neck looked cool.

"You went back a couple of days ago, right? Are you planning to go back today too?"

"Why can't I go home every day? I still have somewhere to go back to. There's nothing happier than that (note)."

Note: This is a line from Amuro Ray, the protagonist of *Mobile Suit Gundam*. The following text is also adapted from Amuro's lines.

I'm sorry... You'll understand, right? I can go see you anytime... I thought to myself, and Yukino sighed softly.

"...Okay. Anyway, you'll be bringing your work home anyway, so I'm not complaining."

Oh, you found out. You're a new human (note), right?

Note: A proper noun from the anime/manga series *Mobile Suit Gundam*, referring to humans with superhuman sensory abilities.

"Don't you also bring work home? Before you can't handle it anymore, give me some of the work."

I said with a slightly forceful tone that Yukinoshita should stop what she was doing for the time being, lower her head as if in repentance, and then obediently agreed.

"Um……"

"Uh, you actually agreed..."

She must be exhausted; she can barely speak.

"Are you alright? Are you about to die?"

"I'm about to die. I can't keep up at all. I feel like I could die at any moment."

Exhausted, Yukinoshita's words were truly dangerous.

She resumed reading documents and typing on the keyboard and computer. Her slightly slipped blue-light glasses and the cooling patch on her forehead were truly heartbreaking. The table in front of her was piled high with snacks like chocolate and rice crackers, either for emergency energy replenishment or provided by others.

Seeing that she was so busy and overwhelmed, not just one step away from reaching her limit, but two steps ahead, the others all offered to help.

"Yukino, I'll take this."

"Ah, then I'll take care of this—"

Yui and Isshiki often came to check on her, and each time they passed by, they would take away her documents and computer along with snacks. As expected of companions who had organized several events together, they all had almost the same concerns.

As for what I can do, all I can do is teach her efficiency-boosting techniques like "it's faster to swallow caffeine tablets and glucose directly than energy drinks."

Or, they could simply take her job away and force her to rest...

So, how can I take her job and let her rest? As I was thinking, a dark figure appeared behind me.

It turned out to be a timber stand with a headband wrapped around his head and a few nails dangling from his mouth. He was tapping his shoulder with a mallet while stroking his chin, looking quite peculiar.

"Hachiman, we don't have enough materials."

"I'm going to the supermarket to buy some things. Can you help me carry them?"

"Hmm, could I go and scare a donkey while I'm at it? Nothing much, just want a drink."

The man in the wooden seat pretended to raise his glass to drink something.

"Sure...not just curry, you even drink your hamburger patties?"

Is this guy alright...? I looked at him with pity, while Zaimokuza looked smug for some reason.

"Lately, I've even been drinking pork chops..." (Note)

Note: "Surprise Donkey" is a Japanese chain family restaurant specializing in hamburger and pork cutlet dishes. "Curry is a beverage" and "Tonkatsu is a beverage" are Japanese curry and tonkatsu restaurants, respectively.

This is just too terrifying...

I felt a chill run down my spine. I heard the conversation and quietly walked over.

"Great! It's almost lunchtime, isn't it? Hmm?"

She blinked and winked at me. What did that mean? Was she flirting? Or was she a lonely tropical fish (note)? Before I could figure it out, she nudged my side meaningfully.

Note: This is a single by the Japanese girl group Wink. Wink means to blink.

"Ouch..." I complained inwardly, pointing with my chin at Yukinoshita. She'd already entered fatigue mode, staring blankly at the clock. Ah, I see. Now's the perfect time to take her job.

Yukishiro rubbed her temples and sighed wearily.

"...It's getting late, let's eat first. Could you buy me something?"

"Okay... Ah, no. I won't be back for a while."

"Why?"

Yukino tilted her head in confusion. I pretended to be serious and slowly opened my mouth.

"...I'm going to the sauna."

"What?"

Yukinoshita seemed a little annoyed, as if she didn't understand what I was saying at all.

Even if I told Yukino that it was so she could rest, she would definitely say she could manage. Since that's the case, I'll have to convince her with other reasons.

There happened to be a multi-functional bathhouse next to the large shopping mall we were planning to visit. Since we were a sauna enthusiast, it was impossible for us not to go in and check it out.

As Yukinoshita's partner and a sauna enthusiast, I earnestly gave her these words of advice.

"Listen carefully. This is also very important at work. Soaking in a sauna can regulate a disrupted autonomic nervous system, relax the mind and body, and thereby improve work efficiency. This is exactly what we need right now. Conversely, you could say that saunas are a benefit for us employees, and we should even use funds for them. I will ask the shop to issue a receipt, and tell me the payee first."

"...Oh, I see."

Although my enthusiastic explanation completely blew her mind along the way, Yukinoshita was still taken aback by my explanation.

My enthusiasm transformed into a heat wave, spreading outwards.

"...Sauna, so there's such a thing."

"I really want to get some treatment."

"I'd like to go steam it..."

"Yes, you're talking about Löyly, right? There's also the name Aufguss, I think." (Note)

Note: These are saunas in Finland and Germany, respectively.

The men, centered around the Zaimokuza and the game club duo, unanimously agreed. Tamaki stirred the air with both hands, his movements resembling those of a skilled heatsink (note). The men from the beach complex also raised their hands in approval, as if they wanted another gust of hot air from Aufguss.

Note: This job involves performing actions and shouting slogans in the sauna to create a lively atmosphere.

"Once you discover the benefits of cold showers, you'll immediately become obsessed with saunas."

"Indeed. A cold shower reflects the quality of that sauna, so it's important."

"Speaking of cold water baths, I really want to go to Shikiji (note) once."

Note: This sauna is located in Shizuoka City, Japan, and features a natural cold water pool.

Currently, a sauna craze is emerging among trend-conscious young people. Students at Seaside Comprehensive High School, who seem quite perceptive, should also be aware of this type of information.

So I've said it so many times, the sauna anime is definitely going to be a hit! I need to hurry up and get certified as a sauna spa health consultant, warm up my body (because it's a sauna) and get ready! I've already gotten certified as a sauna spa expert, you know?

Seeing the men present stand up, Yukinoshita pressed her temples and sighed.

"...Let's rest for a bit. Could you tell me the location?"

Yukinoshita said, and shut down the computer.

× × ×

The water in the open-air bath shimmered under the setting sun.

We, along with our helpers from the tennis and soccer clubs who do manual labor, went to "Tangyan Hengding" to relax before the final sprint.

Everyone else was resting, but I was enjoying the steam quietly by myself.

The sauna has a television, but it's not noisy at all. The moderate noise level is just right. The sound seeps into the sweat glands opened by the heat, synchronizing with the heartbeat. The combination of sound and heat calms the mind.

The hot air came into contact with my naked skin, exchanging heat, and I began to feel my blood boiling from the inside out.

After the thoughts that lingered in my mind dissolved and flowed out of my body, all that remained was "emptiness".

Spending time in the heatwave will cause all your ideas, concepts, and ideas to vanish, leaving you with an absolute realization that can only be described as "It's so hot...it's unbearably hot." At first, you might have random thoughts, but later you'll start to feel indifferent, only feeling that it's unbearably hot.

In a sense, this is actually the ultimate method of mental concentration and the best method of relaxation. It's so hot.

However, the invigorating feeling of a sauna isn't limited to the oven. After a steam bath, rinsing off the sweat with hot water and then immersing yourself in a cold pool instantly clears your mind. No, not just your mind, but every cell in your body awakens. Add to that the water, warmed by your own body temperature, enveloping you like a thin veil, and an astonishing sense of security arises. Then, it's when you personally tear through this veil that you truly understand courage. The will to leave the warmth of home and venture into the cold, windswept wilderness—that truly is courage. It's so hot…

If we're being honest, the "outdoor air bath" after the cold water pool is the biggest charm of a sauna. Only when your body has been steamed by the hot air and then cooled down by the cold water, and you're sitting in the open-air area to relax, do you truly understand the meaning of "refreshment complete."

When a body that was initially very hot is cooled down by a cold water bath, its blood vessels constrict. However, an external air bath allows the body to gradually rest, generate heat again, dilate blood vessels, and deliver a large amount of oxygen. This process, repeated repeatedly, gradually regulates the body and mind.

Just like the history of the Earth.

From the era of magma erupting from the mantle, to the Ice Age when everything was frozen, and then to the modern era where we can breathe oxygen freely. Through repeated cycles of heating and cooling, between calm and passion, humanity experiences the meaning of "living" with its naked bodies. A body steamed in an oven truly generates heat from within, then a cold bath tenses it to prevent heat loss, until finally exposed to the air, liberating everything. Liberated from all repression, thus achieving true freedom. It's so hot.

I was so hot I was a little delirious, and I glanced at the clock in the oven. About five minutes had passed.

I usually set a routine of seven minutes in the sauna, two minutes in a cold water bath, and three minutes in an outdoor steam bath, for a total of twelve minutes, repeating this three times. This perfectly utilizes the twelve-minute clock in the sauna. However, this is just my ideal routine; in reality, the time will vary depending on the room temperature (ideally above 98 degrees Celsius), the water temperature of the cold bath (ideally below 16 degrees Celsius), and whether there is a relaxation area (preferably with a reclining chair). To be a truly excellent sauna enthusiast, one must consider the day's crowd and one's own physical condition to achieve the best results.

There's an open-air bath here, and the weather's nice; an outdoor air bath would definitely be very comfortable. In a situation like today, extending the outdoor air bath time wouldn't be bad either.

Ugh, I really want to get into the cold water pool right away to cool down... It's so hot, so hot, so incredibly hot.

Finally, all thoughts vanished, flowing away with the sweat.

So hot……

"Ouch—it's so hot! No, no, no! It's burning me!"

Even this annoying sound couldn't withstand the intense heat and faded away. It's so hot…

"Hey, Hayato, this is going to kill us! Wait, wait, wait! It's scorching hot up there! It's hotter than a penguin's! How can you possibly stay there? You're too strong—"

...Ministry of Revenue, you're so noisy. You're so noisy that my concentration has completely collapsed.

I slowly opened my eyes, and Hayama, Totsuka, and Zaimokuza followed him in single file.

"Hachiman! Let's steam it together!"

The one who called my name and sat down next to me was, of course, Yoshiteru Zaimoto.

I can understand why Totsuka wraps his body tightly in a bath towel, but why does he wrap even the wooden base like that?

I ignored the wooden seat and turned my whole body toward the angel on the other side.

"It's so hot... I feel like I'm going to faint from the heat."

Totsuka fanned his face with his hand. With each fan, pearly beads of sweat slid down his porcelain-smooth skin, lingering for a moment in the hollow of his collarbone, gleaming like jewels. Totsuka seemed embarrassed by this, pulling up the towel and awkwardly averting his gaze.

The moment I saw this action, I almost lost consciousness.

Rather, I probably really lost consciousness.

"Don't you think going to a sauna is too boring?"

When I snapped out of my daze by the rude voice, the memory from seconds ago had already vanished.

"We have absolutely nothing to do! How about we hold an endurance contest?"

"Shut up. Saunas aren't a place for you to play."

I'm trying to recover my lost memories. Can you let me concentrate? Besides, a sauna isn't a place for endurance. You know, it needs to feel free, redeemed (note). However, anyone who doesn't rinse off their sweat before entering the cold water, or wrings sweat from a towel onto the sauna stones, is undoubtedly guilty. If I find out, I'll punish them with an arm lock!☆

Note: This is a line from the main character of "The Solitary Gourmet".

Alright, although I won't actually go that far, I still sternly warned the Ministry of Revenue. However, it seems that the Ministry of Revenue is also one of those people who can lose their memory of what happened a few seconds ago.

"The one who lasts until the end wins. What do you say?"

He made the suggestion on his own, and Hayama couldn't stand it and tried to stop him.

"Everyone came in at different times, isn't that unfair?"

"Oh right! Well then, the person who shouts 'hot' first loses. Words with similar pronunciations don't work either, otherwise it'll never end."

"Okay, okay. Alright, let's begin."

Hayama was clearly too lazy to deal with the Ministry of Revenue. He gave a perfunctory reply and clapped his hands to signal the start of the match.

Then, everyone fell silent, and the silence lasted for a while.

However, just a few seconds later, the Ministry of Revenue began to fidget with his long hair in a flustered manner.

"This is so boring... It's not right for everyone to be silent, isn't it? They should say something, shouldn't they?"

"Then you should find a topic to talk about."