My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 612

"Your friend probably won't show up until graduation."

He had probably surrendered; he sighed deeply, raised his chin, and pointed at me, signaling me to quickly sit down and spread my legs.

I took advantage of the brief stretch to immediately begin testing him.

First and foremost... look at how well this man knows comics, anime, and games.

"I said, Hachiman."

I called him by his name directly, but he ignored me. Hmm, was that a bit too hasty?

"Who comes to mind when you hear the name Zero? The one from Nanto? The one from Neon Genesis Evangelion? The one from Martian fairy?"

"Amuro." (Note 21)

"So, I heard Rin"Who comes to mind when you hear this name? Someone with the surname Hoshizora? Someone with the surname Shibuya? Or someone with the surname Tohsaka?

"Klin". '

"So, when you hear the name Kabaji, who comes to mind? A tennis player? Someone from Hyotei University? Or someone who imitates other people's moves?"

"Aren't they all birch forests?"

As I expected, the guy answered my questions one by one. I took the opportunity to delve deeper into the topic.

"Electric shocks will probably continue to dominate."

"I believe that one day it will be Gagaga's time."

"Oh, light novels are fine too? Then carefully select three illustrators you like and tell us about them. By the way, I am—"

"Hey, it's time to gather!"

Having said that, Hachiman left without a second thought.

This guy's defenses are really high. If I could at least find out what works he likes, I could launch an offensive right from here. Okay, just knowing he likes Gagaga Bunko is enough.

It's okay, PE class has just started. There's plenty of time... That's what I thought, but then a problem arose.

Today, instead of playing volleyball, we ran. And it was a marathon.

Not to brag, but I'm not good at long-distance running. Nor am I good at short-distance running. If I could, I wouldn't even want to walk. The same goes for climbing stairs; I get depressed after five flights.

That damn PE teacher. He's always getting in the way of my plans! There's no need for a team for a marathon, how am I supposed to talk to him like this! This guy is definitely going to leave me hanging!

My fears were right; Hachiman did indeed abandon me.

We were running together until the middle of the race, then I gradually fell behind and said to him, "Don't worry about me, you go first! Don't look back!" And he actually did it. That guy definitely didn't look back.

What a heartless person. If a light novel featured you as the protagonist, it would never become popular. It would never become a pillar of Lady Gaga.

I was inwardly complaining, just as I was about to give up on my Hachiman research for the day.

Hachiman's figure, which had disappeared from sight, reappeared ahead. He seemed to have slowed down considerably. Alright, I can catch up now! Yoshihira Turbo, release the limiter!

I struggled to run alongside Hachiman, my belly swaying back and forth. He merely glanced at me, without uttering a single word. How heartless.

"Puhe, what's wrong, Hachiman? Puhe, didn't I tell you to leave me alone and go ahead? Puhe."

"Who would bother running a marathon?"

"Hehe, really? Hehe, then let's run together. Hehehe."

"You're making strange noises."

"Don't worry about it. It's just a side effect of the Yi Hui Turbo. Hehehe."

"It's 30% more nauseous than usual."

Despite feeling the same physical limits as Chiyo Fuji (Note 22), I persevered in my research on Hachiman.

This time, I changed the subject to dating games to gauge his interests. Meanwhile, the side effects of the turbocharger were still lingering. Hehe.

"...And so, I successfully won over the heroine. At the graduation ceremony in the finale, she confessed her feelings to me."

"I wish you could graduate from dating games like this."

"Don't you play this type of game? Surprisingly, there are quite a few famous ones."

"One day I suddenly realized. In the end, I wasn't the protagonist of the game."

"Pfft?"

"No matter how much I improve my academic ability, physical strength, charm and other qualities in the game, my overall qualities will not improve."

"Hehehe?"

"Don't respond with a turbine-like sound."

Hachiman and I jogged slowly, getting overtaken by students from the surrounding area. Our pace was practically brisk walking.

"Women as gentle as those in games don't exist in real life. Wait, maybe the women in games are the same? The heroine who confessed to you also confessed to other players, didn't she?"

"You, you bastard! Apologize to all the heroines in dating sims! Apologize to Fujisaki Shiori (Note 23) first!"

"Then tell her to wait for me under the legendary big tree."

"Don't try to use this opportunity to get together with her!"

"To be honest, for the female protagonist, having to confess to you is practically a punishment game."

"Don't discriminate against the general! Hmm! Take this, 'Great Divine Punishment - Flame Annihilation High Five'!"』! "

"I told you, you need to stop being a chuunibyou (middle school syndrome) person."

At that moment, Hachiman stared at me with unusual seriousness. His eyes were still lifeless, but this was perhaps the first time he had looked me in the eye properly before speaking to me.

"Zaimu-zai, please align your life and character settings."

"Pfft?"

He left those words behind and quickened his pace to leave.

Unfortunately, I couldn't catch up with him. My turbo had reached its limit and stalled.

"Unity, life, and role?"

I muttered those words over and over, watching his figure slowly shrink. Soon after, Hachiman disappeared from sight.

It wasn't because he was being obscured by marathon runners.

It was the heat that fogged up my glasses.

After that, Hachiman and I were paired up in every PE class.

But our relationship didn't improve. That guy's attitude towards me was still the same casual, and he would try to push me onto other people whenever he got the chance. He even said he was willing to pay the residency fee as long as it didn't exceed 200 yen.

Based on my previous research on Hachiman, I learned that he is more familiar with manga, anime, and light novels than I imagined. He especially loves Gagaga Bunko.

I later learned that he ranked third in the entire grade in Chinese language.

That's amazing! Reading books from the Gagaga Library can help improve your Chinese language grades.

"...Hachiman, there's no point in telling you all this, but—"

That day, luckily, it was volleyball in PE class again.

As I watched the game, I struck up a conversation with Hachiman sitting next to me. He didn't even glance at me, just gave a casual reply.

"A few days ago, a strange woman gave me a gift in front of the station. That woman might have been my wife in a past life. I never imagined that after all these years, we would meet again..."

"That gift was toilet paper, right?"

"How do you know?"

"Let's come up with some new jokes."

"And then this happened. A strange woman in front of the station said to me, 'Please let me pray for you.' That woman might have been my wife in a past life—"

"They didn't even include a joke."

"So how about this? A few days ago, Ms. Hiratsuka, who is my homeroom teacher, said, 'You're one of the problem children too.' Could she be my wife from a past life—?"

"Impossible. Even in my past life, I don't think that person could get married."

"You'll be killed."

It was our turn to play, so our chat was temporarily interrupted.

I thought I'd just play a few rounds of ball and keep observing Hachiman... but my plan fell through in an unexpected way.

For some reason, our opponents were taking the game very seriously. Our team seemed to be spurred on, and we started to take the game seriously as well.

"Okay, we absolutely have to win!"

"Great, let's show our true skills once in a while!"

"Compared to a marathon, it's like the difference between heaven and hell!"

Cheers erupted, and the competition became increasingly intense.

Seeing the atmosphere, I have no choice but to step up my game. If I try to slack off, I might get a kick in the butt. A general's dignity won't allow that.

"Pfft! Pfft!"

Every time I jump to block the net, my stomach bounces around. Today is the day I most hate that I'm not a big-breasted beauty.

In addition, a mutiny occurred; my serve exploded on the back of my head. It was Hachiman who did it.

When the competition finally ended, I was completely exhausted.

As soon as I stepped off the field, I sprawled out on the ground, my mouth opening and closing like a carp's. The one peering at me was none other than that traitorous outsider.

"Oops, sorry, sorry. My hand slipped."

"You, you bastard... I'll never forgive you... Pfft."

"What a pity. I was hoping that if everything went smoothly, I could go to the infirmary again."

Although I really wanted to kill him, I no longer had the strength.

So be it. It's common for subordinates to defy their superiors; I should forgive him with a magnanimous heart. Consider it a favor he owes me. But I cried because I am a general.

A few minutes later, I finally mustered the strength to sit up and asked Hachiman:

"I'm talking about Hachiman, you mentioned him before."

"What?"

"You wanted to align your life and character settings... You once said that to me, what did you mean?"

"Oh, that one. Aren't you the swordsman shogun who inherited Ashikaga Yoshiteru's soul?"

"Exactly."

"But isn't he actually Yoshiteru Zaimoto, a marginalized and chuunibyou (delusional) character?"

Being called "out of the loop" by this guy makes me three times angrier than usual. Just as angry as when Red Heart tells me, "Go on a diet, you bald idiot!"

"I just think it's best to work on reconciling my reality with my ideal self. It doesn't mean anything by it, so don't take it to heart."

"The real me versus the ideal me..."

Indeed, I am an unparalleled swordsman and general, yet I get breathless from playing mere volleyball and marathons. I also stay up all night playing dating sims and love maid cafes.

If Ashikaga Yoshiteru knew this, he might also lament. He might even feel the same regret as when he was forced to flee Kyoto by Miyoshi Nagayoshi.

But what should I do?

I am the swordsman general, Yoshiteru Zaimokuza—this cannot be changed now. No, that's not a setting. I truly am the swordsman general.

I live by the motto of constant battle. Given that, I should have forged my body into something as strong as steel. Instead, I'm this obese… I truly resent my laziness. Or rather, I resent my chubby self.

Then I fell into a maze of thoughts.He remained silent.

I completely forgot to talk to Hachiman until the end of get out of class. When I came to my senses, he was already gone. How could I be so oblivious? What a blunder!

Other students were still nearby, but for some reason, they were all unfamiliar faces.

That's when I noticed. They were the students for the next class.

Not only has get out of class ended, but the next class is about to begin.

"At least tell me! That cold-blooded bastard!"

I mustered my last remaining strength and immediately retreated back to the school building.

After receiving mysterious advice from Hachiman Hikigaya.