My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 619

Short Story Collection 2 ONPARADE: How Shizuka Hiratsuka and Hachiman Hikigaya spend a holiday.

Author: Tianjin Xiang / Illustration: Ukami

When I, Hachiman Hikigaya, woke up, it was already past 1:30 in the afternoon.

I wondered why I had slept until this late.

Oh yeah. Yesterday I randomly downloaded a little game on my phone and got more addicted than I expected. I thought, "Tomorrow's a holiday, I might as well play for as long as I can," and ended up playing until dawn. Speaking of which, the fatigue I felt when I slept in until the afternoon on a rare holiday was amazing. I felt guilty for wasting the whole day.

...However, I quickly reconsidered; this kind of thing happens all the time. In fact, last week I didn't get up until the evening, wasting the whole day. Considering that, I'm actually up early today. Great! That means I'll find three coins (Note 31). Finding three coins after sleeping so long is fantastic!

Oh right, how much is three coins in today's money? I searched "the current value of three coins" on my phone. Let me see... Hmm, it varies from era to era, roughly one hundred yen... Not bad. Does that mean I earned one hundred yen for free? How lucky! The question is, where is that one hundred yen now?

As I was thinking, my stomach growled. Okay, before I go find the 100 yen, I should fill my stomach first. I headed towards the living room.

"Hey—Komachi. Is there breakfast available?"

As I called out to Komachi, thinking, "It doesn't seem like breakfast time now," the living room was completely empty. Hmm? Where did Komachi, who usually lazily watches TV, go? Then I remembered what Komachi had said in the living room yesterday.

"Tomorrow, Komachi is going out with her school friends, so you'll have to eat by yourself! Anyway, you'll definitely stay up until dawn and sleep until the afternoon, then feel like you're lucky you didn't get to sleep in the evening."

Wow—does this guy have superpowers? Or have I become like a bot that only follows a fixed pattern? Both possibilities are annoying.

I was thinking, "I don't know which is more annoying," but compared to that little thing, I need to solve my hunger problem first. What should I do? Hmm—I opened the refrigerator, but there was nothing to eat right away. I also didn't want to cook when I was alone. If Komachi said, "I want to eat this—!", I'd probably cook it for her…

So, what should I do? While I was fretting, I found a note on the table and picked it up.

"Leave a message! Anyway, my brother will probably think, 'Cooking is too much trouble, I could cook for her if Komachi were here,' so Komachi is leaving the meal allowance her mom gave her here! Don't waste it!"

I see. It seems I'm not a bot, but Komachi who has superpowers. In that case, she could be considered Superpowered Komachi, at a level where it wouldn't be surprising if she became a model for her father's paintings. (Note 32)

As I pondered this, I pulled out the thousand-yuan bill that was next to the note. Hmm, if I could keep the lunch bill under nine hundred yuan, I could really make three cents.

So, I changed my clothes and stepped out of the house. I hesitated for a moment about where to eat, and finally decided to go to the newly opened ramen shop in front of the station. Eating at the set meal shop near my house wouldn't be a problem either, but I wanted to have a day that felt like "a new shop opened on the weekend!" Incidentally, I didn't plan to tell anyone this.

Okay, enough with that thought. I'll say it again: Chiba is a fierce battleground for ramen. Opening a ramen shop in Chiba is like choosing to walk a "path of carnage" filled with delicious restaurants. I have to experience that kind of determination. Incidentally, this isn't because anyone told me that.

It takes about ten minutes to walk to the station. I strolled leisurely towards the station.

When the red light came on, I took out my phone to play the game I downloaded yesterday. Hmm—what's so fun about it? A game where you keep slicing flying vegetables with a kitchen knife. Am I too excited for the late hour? Oh, the falling carrots and radishes are relatively easy to slice. Hmm, wait a minute, this is lettuce, and green beans too? The green beans are too small to slice, so you have to aim carefully… Take this—!

...Missed. Game over. Okay, I can't give up like this. I'm about to press the continue button.

At this time.

"Hey kid. What are you doing in a place like this?"

I looked up and saw a familiar face wearing sunglasses, sitting in a car parked by the roadside, waving at me through the window.

That person is Shizuka Hiratsuka. My high school Japanese teacher, who also served as my life guidance teacher, was the culprit who forced me into the Service Club.

"It's been on the green light for a long time."

Looking up, I saw the green light had started flashing, and it turned red the instant I thought "Ah!"

"Hiratsuka-sensei, you asked me what I'm doing, the answer is I'm chopping vegetables."

"For you to say that sounds like a strange delusion..."

"And what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm going to eat ramen."

"what?"

I exclaimed in surprise, and Hiratsuka-sensei was taken aback.

"What's wrong? I don't look like someone who can't eat ramen."

"No, I was just thinking of going to eat ramen, it's just a coincidence."

"You too? Oh... okay."

Hiratsuka-sensei took off her sunglasses and pointed a thumbs-up into the car.

"Get in the car first."

"what?"

"We both want to eat ramen. It's fate that we met here, let's go together."

"Huh? But...but..."

I thought about it a lot and figured it would probably cause trouble, so I decided to decline the invitation. Oh right, I remembered she also had Chinese homework. I can't stand being nagged by the teacher on my precious holiday.

"Oh dear—I don't think it's appropriate for students and teachers to walk together, let's skip it this time."

"It's my treat."

"I won't be polite."

Rather than let her continue to pester me, I chose the thousand yuan in my pocket, which was thirty coins.

This vehicle was probably not intended for carrying passengers; there were cardboard boxes on the back seat, making it completely unlike a woman's vehicle.

"Just by looking at this car, you can tell that the teacher has no experience dating men."

"Hachiman, you've got guts to say that. Watch out, or I'll tell everyone in the school about your reputation."

How can this person say such unreasonable things in such a calm tone? This is blatant abuse of power.

"So, which store were you originally planning to go to?"

"Ah, that new shop in front of the station."

"Ah—that place. I see. I see. I see."

Hiratsuka-sensei said it several times.

"What's wrong?"

"Hachiman, you might be loved by the Ramen God."

"Huh? The God of Ramen?"

I looked at the teacher who was driving with a puzzled expression.

"Yes. So that's how you met me over there, right?"

After saying that, Hiratsuka-sensei suddenly turned the steering wheel and made a U-turn at the intersection ahead, heading towards the ramen shop I was going to.

"Um, teacher, what did that sentence mean?"

"We'll talk about it when we get there."

I was completely bewildered and just stared straight ahead.

After driving for about five minutes, we arrived at the station. Professor Hiratsuka sat in the car and parked it where he could see the shops.

"Our lunch break is almost over. Can you see that?"

I looked toward the shop I was planning to go to. The signboard featured a large photo of the shop manager and someone who appeared to be a ramen chef.

"The signboard is truly magnificent."

"That's right, but what I want you to see is that. Did you see it?"

As she spoke, Ms. Hiratsuka opened the passenger window, unbuckled her seatbelt, and leaned out of the car to look out. "Uh, you're a little too close." Her chest was practically in front of my face; even I would feel my heart race at that closeness.

"Look."

I didn't know where she was telling me to look; my cheeks were burning. I immediately realized she was referring to the ramen shop and looked over there. The shop owner himself, pictured on the sign, was standing there smoking.

"Even though it's past the lunch rush, this is in front of the station. The manager is outside."

"...Does that mean there are no guests?"

"Hmm, or perhaps—"

Just as Hiratsuka-sensei spoke, a customer walked out of the shop. The shop manager didn't nod to the customer, but silently smoked and scrolled through his phone.

"Let someone else be in charge of cooking the ramen. It seems to be the latter."

"However, it's also possible that they cooked the noodles before coming outside."

"But a ramen shop manager who doesn't care about the customers' reactions after they finish eating can't be top-notch. He didn't even say goodbye to the customers who just left."

Hiratsuka-sensei is right. When I cook something myself—like the dishes Komachi orders—I'd definitely want to see how she reacts while eating it, and even her reaction after she's finished.

"Look at how he printed his and his master's photos on the signboard; he's probably using someone else's loincloth to make ramen broth." (Note 33)

Instead of sumo wrestling, it's soup making—this person really adapted it well. As I was thinking this, Hiratsuka-sensei sat back in the driver's seat and exhaled. His expression looked somewhat sad.

"Although I don't really want to trust rating apps for restaurants, this restaurant had all low scores on that app. It said things like, 'The taste was average, but the manager's arrogant attitude made the noodles taste bad.'"

"That's it."

I never knew that Hiratsuka-sensei loved ramen so much.

No, I felt that way before when we went to eat ramen together, and now I'm experiencing it again.

"So, in other words, I don't want to bring you to this store. What do you think?"

"You asked for my opinion... After hearing what you said, I do become less inclined to go."

"Right, right?"

Ms. Hiratsuka nodded happily, but seeing her like this, I felt a little like teasing her.

"However, I'm a little disillusioned with you."

"Disillusionment?"

Hiratsuka-sensei raised an eyebrow and glared at her.

"I have conveyed your feelings and experiences to me truthfully. However, I feel that as a Chinese language teacher, it is not in line with your style to rate a store based solely on information and online reviews."

Upon hearing this, Hiratsuka-sensei stopped glaring at me and instead looked towards the windshield.

"Is it true that a Chinese language teacher must translate their personal experiences and insights into words?"

"At least I think you have that side to you."

"You really are... seeing is believing, so take a look at this."

Ms. Hiratsuka took out her wallet from the bag hanging on her shoulder and pulled out a card.

The card has the name of the ramen shop in front of you written on it and is a points card with two stamps.

"Huh? What's this?"

"I have that store's points card, which obviously has only one meaning."

"Teacher, have you been to that store?"

"I thought explaining it to you with information would be more convincing, so I used that method to introduce the store. If it were clearer, I would have just said it directly."

Hiratsuka-sensei brought her face closer.

"That restaurant has terrible food."

“…Understood.”

"Okay, I'll drive now."

The car reversed a short distance, then Hiratsuka-sensei turned the steering wheel and continued driving forward.

In the end, we decided to drive directly to the restaurant that Hiratsuka-sensei wanted to eat at today.

"The teacher really loves ramen."

"We've had similar conversations before."

That's right. I remember it was...

"At your cousin's wedding ceremony."

"Oh, right, right. I remember meeting you when my family was pressuring me like crazy at the wedding and I was trying to run away. Is that right...? It's been so long."

Suddenly, Hiratsuka-sensei looked into the distance. What was that look like? What emotion was emanating from it?

"My cousin got pregnant very quickly after that, and recently she got pregnant with her second child."

"I see. Congratulations."

Upon hearing my response, Hiratsuka-sensei's gaze became even more melancholy.

"When I attended a relative's funeral a while ago, those relatives kept saying things like, 'The child is so cute,' and 'Isn't Xiaojing getting married?'"