My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

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We joined our hands in prayer following Yuihama's slogan.

After finally managing to pick up the sticky omelet and bring it to my mouth, an indescribable, foul odor assaulted my nostrils.

Ugh, this stuff is absolutely awful. We were so sure of it as we shoved it into our mouths—

I won't say much more after that.

3. Note: Japanese linguists.

Note 4 is adapted from Speedwagon's famous line in "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure": "I, Speedwagon, will leave in style."

5 notes: Japanese 7-Eleven advertising jingle.

Short Story Collection 3: Yui Side. No matter what, Yui Yuigahama wants to eat noodles.

Author: Shiratori Shirow / Illustration: Shirabi

What is the strongest food?

My previous answer to this difficult question was ramen.

Ramen is the best. For a lonely high school boy, it's one of the most comforting foods. It's the ultimate deliciousness that heals a proud and aloof soul and satisfies the stomach.

The ultimate food for marginalized people: ramen.

However, ramen also has its weaknesses, or rather, it's not suitable for certain occasions.

That is... a date.

Couples should never eat ramen on a date. Muttering to each other in front of a vending machine, or whispering sweet nothings at the counter—it's just toxic.

Talking will make the noodles mushy and the soup cold.

Therefore, couples should absolutely not eat ramen.

Friday after school, marking the end of an ordinary week.

Ms. Hiratsuka Shizuka, who had wandered into the clubroom, was talking non-stop, while we all went about our own business and listened to her talk.

You could also say that it goes in one ear and out the other.

"Right now, the competition is still fiercest in the Chiba to Chiba Central area. There's a clear difference in customer demographics."

The three students clearly weren't interested in their topic; in fact, they seemed annoyed. But Hiratsuka-sensei didn't seem to mind and continued talking non-stop.

Normally she is a good teacher who cares about her students... but when a certain topic comes up, she becomes completely absorbed in it.

"Ugh, what era are we living in? I still have to attend gatherings with parent-teacher association members, and at those kinds of parties, the role a young, pretty female teacher like me plays is definitely not going to be very good, so I declined for a while. I don't want to be asked to entertain guests, and what's even more annoying is that those mothers keep asking me, 'Teacher, are you married?' 'Shouldn't you have several partners?' 'If you're going to get married, you'd better hurry up!' I really can't stand it. Unlike being interrogated by family and relatives, I can't say anything wrong, so I can only obediently let myself be trampled on like a punching bag..."

The conversation veered off course in a strange direction.

Simply put, she attended a party for parents and went out on the street that evening.

"So I participated in it for the first time in a long time... I never expected the ramen war around Chiba Station to be so intense!"

That's right.

What was this consultant doing at the office the day before the weekend? Simply to talk about the ramen he ate the previous weekend.

Shizuka Hiratsuka. Single. Advisor to the Service Society. And then, single.

Sometimes cute, sometimes cool. I don't deny that, but the current Hiratsuka-sensei is neither "cute Shizuka" nor "cool Shizuka". She's just "a very noisy Shizuka".

After giving a long explanation, Professor Hiratsuka shrugged and concluded.

"However, as a teacher, it's difficult for me to recommend shops in that area."

I think I need to make a point.

Although they are all called "Chiba Station", there are many stations named after Chiba, such as JR Chiba Station, Nishi-Chiba Station, Higashi-Chiba Station, Keisei-Chiba Station, Shin-Chiba Station, Chiba-Chuo Station, and JR Hon-Chiba Station (as well as Chiba Port Station on the monorail).

The area between JR Chiba Station and Keisei Chiba-Chuo Station is a well-known entertainment district, with a completely different appearance during the day and at night.

Hearing this, I understood why Professor Hiratsuka had made a special trip to the Service Club office to talk about this.

You can't exactly yell at the parents' meeting in the faculty office. And it's not really appropriate to talk to regular students about ramen shops around Chiba Station either.

Simply put, only we can hear her say this.

Our reaction was lukewarm, so Hiratsuka-sensei finally started calling on people to chat.

"How is it, Yukinoshita? Does it remind you of that taste I had in Kyoto?"

"indeed--"

Yukino Yukinoshita paused for a moment while flipping through the paperback, then nodded in response.

"Sometimes I have this craving for no reason. Because... it's a ferocious delicacy."

It's rare to hear someone praise food so directly. But just hearing her comment on the taste of the food is quite unusual.

Yes, Tenka Ippon is quite unique among ramen shops; I've heard some people find it "pinkish" and don't like it. Even though it was only a small plate, Yukinoshita accidentally tasted that shop—and it was the main branch's ramen at that. No wonder her tongue couldn't forget the taste. "Hehehe! You're denying it, but your body is definitely remembering it⁉" "N-No way—!" Because it's ramen, it's not allowed (Note 6)? What a lame joke.

"The impact was so strong that it overwhelmed the flavors of all the other foods I ate on my graduation trip."

"That's really an exaggeration!"

"Yes, isn't that right, Hachiman?"

"This is also my first time eating at Tianxia Yipin. It might just be the most memorable part of my graduation trip."

"The most memorable thing about your trip to Kyoto was eating ramen, which really suits your personality... But it's true, the thought of going all the way to Kyoto just to eat that bowl of ramen is probably quite a luxurious experience. For someone who likes it, it should be worth it."

"You can find chain stores in Tokyo, but that's the main store."

It felt like I'd done a pilgrimage to a sacred site. I felt a slight sense of superiority.

And someone was silently listening to my memories with Yukinoshita—

“…………”

"Yuihama-san? What's wrong? It's strange that you've been silent for more than five seconds... Are you feeling unwell?"

If these words had come from anyone else, they would have sounded sarcastic, but Yukinoshita was genuinely worried about her.

As for Yui Yuigahama, who received attention...

"Waaah..."

She narrowed her eyes, her gaze shifting back and forth between me and Yukino, radiating resentment.

"Did Yukino and that autistic guy... go eat ramen together...?"

"Uh, that's right."

I almost stood up reflexively.

I don't know why I'm so panicked, but lately, seeing Yuihama's attitude makes me... instinctively stand up like this.

Like the singer Angela Agi during her performance, I alternated between standing and sitting, neither standing nor sitting, and sighed as I replied:

"...It wasn't just the two of us. Hiratsuka-sensei invited us on the graduation trip that night."

"That's it."

The topic shifted to ramen, so Hiratsuka-sensei excitedly joined in and explained in more detail.

"I was the one who dragged them both out. It would be troublesome if a teacher took students out and someone found out, so I didn't tell anyone else. But the Service Club felt like we were one of our own, which is why I accidentally let it slip."

"I hope you can keep this a secret," Hiratsuka-sensei said to Yui-hama, to which Yui-hama responded with an ambiguous "Oh..." that was neither clear whether she was convinced nor not.

Speaking of which, the ramen I had that day was actually a hush money payment from Hiratsuka-sensei, who had sneaked out of the dorm to eat ramen on the night of our graduation trip, to keep Yukinoshita and me quiet.

"However, I went to eat ramen with Hachiman during summer vacation."

"Huh?! You introverted guy, have you ever gone to eat ramen with Hiratsuka-sensei? And on a weekend? Why, why?!"

"Ah...why...?"

For me, that was a very inexplicable event.

That summer afternoon, I accidentally slept until an awkward time. I decided to go out and explore a new ramen shop. As I passed a wedding venue, I saw a beautiful woman exuding an evil aura all by herself...

The beautiful woman, exuding an evil aura, said nostalgically:

"I remember it was near the wedding venue in Makuhari Beach... with a view of the sea, right?"

"Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding ceremony?!"

"I was on my way to a wedding, but Hachiman forcibly dragged me out..."

"Autistic boy?! He forcibly dragged the teacher out?!"

"Then we went to eat ramen."

"No way!! You're actually going to eat ramen... Ramen? Why?"

No, no, no, everything except the part about eating ramen was just made up by her.

It was purely because Hiratsuka-sensei used me to escape her relatives' barrage of "You should get married soon too" after attending the wedding. I was the one who ended up being taken away by her.

On a summer afternoon, sitting at the counter of a ramen shop with a beautifully dressed, single female teacher... Hmm, no matter how I think about it, I just feel like, what's going on here? It's so absurd (Note 7)...

Explaining the whole situation in detail would be too troublesome, and the more I said, the deeper the misunderstanding might become, so I remained silent.

“Hmm…”

Yuihama puffed out one cheek and, for some reason, stared at me the only one.

Then, she suddenly stood up and declared:

"I also need to go."

"What? Where to... Salia?"

"We're talking about ramen now, so why are we going to Saizeriya?!"

"You ask me why..."

Talking about ramen now makes you want to eat noodles → girls eat spaghetti → spaghetti means going to Saladilla.

Hmm. Perfect reasoning.

"Uh, Saizeriya's pasta is indeed cheap and delicious! But that's not the place I want to go!"

"Where is that?"

"I want to go eat ramen with that autistic guy too."

To make it easier for me to understand, she spoke each sentence separately, bending down and bringing her face close, as if she were teaching a child.

Huh? Eat ramen with me...? Now?

If I'm going to eat in Chiba now, it's dinner time. That means I have to tell my family, "I'm eating out for dinner today." It would be troublesome if they asked why.

And today is Friday. Tomorrow is a holiday.

The streets at night are filled with students and office workers... lots of pedestrians and shops. There must be quite a few students from Soubu High School too.

Moving around in a place like that with Yui... well, it might cause misunderstandings. Besides, eating ramen with someone of the opposite sex goes against my principles. Yui and I aren't a couple, but people who don't know the situation might think that.

Therefore, I will state my conclusion.

"I do not want."

"noodle--!"

Yuihama, as if practicing kendo, delivered a karate chop to my forehead.

"Autistic men are idiots—!"

She threw down that childish remark, grabbed her schoolbag, and rushed out of the clubroom... She paused before leaving, clearly glancing in my direction... Uh, I won't chase after you.

I touched my forehead where she had hit me, straightened my bangs, and muttered:

"...Seriously. Who's the idiot here?"

"Hachiman Hikigaya, I guess."

"Hmm. Hachiman, I guess."

"What?"

Wait a minute, you two. Did you hear the conversation just now?

"Isn't it?"

Yukino Yukinoshita tucked the bookmark into the paperback, revealing a smile that seemed to say she understood everything in the world.