My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 74

"But I think depth is good."

She said what I expected.

"If a river is too deep, the current is too swift, and you can't see the bottom or feel your feet touching the ground. So, conversely, someone as shallow as me is both peaceful and down-to-earth."

As I finished speaking triumphantly, a puzzled look appeared on Xuexia's face.

"That's strange... I feel like Hachiman is a really amazing person..."

"That's strange... I feel like I'm being portrayed as someone who's not very impressive..."

It's strange, I thought I was being very serious.

Yukino tilted her head to one side and said, "Huh? You're not that great at all, are you?"

"Why are you tilting your head and acting cute? Your image is so different from that harsh remark, it will hurt me even more."

Then, Yukinoshita put on a serious expression.

"I'm sorry, but it's just that I'm not good at lying."

"I feel like you've got the reason for your apology wrong... Let me tell you, aside from not having any friends or a girlfriend, I'm pretty amazing."

I solemnly told Yukino this, and she immediately rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache.

"By the average person's standards, that would be a fatal flaw... Oh well, I have a lot of opinions about the average person's standards anyway."

"That's right, the idea that the more friends and girlfriends you have, the better is a complete denial of the individual. Among the great people and geniuses praised by the world, there are many examples of people who have no friends at all. Besides, you are the top student in the whole grade, an all-around genius girl, and you still don't have any friends."

"Yes, there is one..."

Yukinoshita retorted somewhat sheepishly. That friend of hers was probably someone I knew too.

"You mean Yuihama, right? But when people talk about 'friends,' they usually mean a group of people in plural, so you still don't have any friends!"

"You're talking nonsense again..."

Yukinoshita started looking down on me again. Halfway through her story, someone opened the office door.

"Hey~ Hmm? What are you guys talking about?"

Yui Yuigahama makes her entrance with an idiotic greeting.

"Ah, Yuihama-san. It's nothing, it's just that Hikigaya-san keeps insisting that he's amazing."

Upon hearing this, Yuihama immediately clapped her hands and burst into laughter.

"Hahaha! Impossible, impossible!"

"Don't dismiss me immediately... Wait, listen carefully first, I'll explain in a clear and logical manner what makes me so great. First of all, I have a very good appearance, that's a plus."

"But you have a pair of dead fish eyes, deduct one point."

"And he even boasted about it..."

The two girls completely ignored it.

"Hmm! Well... then... I'll get a bonus if I go to a college-preparatory high school."

"However, there is a risk of repeating a grade, so one point will be deducted."

"...Haha, I probably don't have the right to judge others, so I won't offer my opinion."

Not only was Yukinoshita's attitude cold, but Yuihama's smile was also forced. No, it's alright. The points I just listed weren't ideal; they were too abstract and heavily influenced by personal bias. I'll now provide some concrete and persuasive examples.

"How about this instead? Your Chinese language score is third in the entire grade's humanities group, so add one point!"

"But he only got nine points in math, which is the lowest in the whole grade, so he lost one point."

"Waaaah—I only have 12 points, so I won't comment."

Yuihama was about to cry. And...and what else...?

"Mmm...and...I love my little sister very, very much."

"Isn't that just a simple case of being a siscon...?"

They all gave me a look that said, "Go to hell, you pervert."

"Two points deducted."

"Why is the allocation here so different? Damn it! And what else... no, no, I can't think of anything else..."

I racked my brains, but couldn't think of anything else to say. Seeing my headache, Yukinoshita gave me a smug smile.

"Is it over? I want something else."

"What……"

"Those aren't the only examples of how useless I've ever been. Do you possess some kind of notebook?" Yukinoshita slightly averted her gaze and muttered softly.

"For example... to properly celebrate Yuihama's birthday, that would earn you a point... or something like that."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"It's nothing. Let's go, we should get going. I made a fruit cake, we should eat it while it's fresh."

She ignored my question as if nothing had happened, pulled out a chair, and stood up.

"Okay..."

Yuihama and I also got up.

"Great! Cake! Yukino, what fruit did you use? Watermelon?"

"Judging from the fact that you first thought of using watermelon to make a cake, your cooking skills are still just as terrible..."

× × ×

We left the office and strolled down the corridor. As I went down to the first floor, I remembered the message I had received from Komachi earlier.

"So, where are we going? Komachi said she wants to go too, I'm wondering if I should ask her to come along."

"Why not?"

Yukinoshita nodded, and Yuihama continued to answer:

"There's a karaoke bar in front of the train station. You can sing for free after 5 PM, which is a great deal."

"Okay, I'll text her first. But 'unlimited karaoke'... what an annoying phrase."

A painful memory suddenly flashed through my mind. Yuihama asked in surprise:

"Huh? Why? It's the same price no matter how long you sing, isn't that great?"

"Freedom is not always a good thing; it also means a lack of protection."

What Yukinoshita said makes a lot of sense, and I nodded in agreement.

"That's right. Graduation trip, hiking, swimming lessons... every time the teacher gave us free time, I never knew what to do. And there was really nothing to do in the pool, so I ended up swimming a full two kilometers."

"That's already long-distance swimming."

Yes, it was way beyond the course scope, it was exhausting...

"Haha, regarding this question, during the graduation trip, just stay three steps behind the group and don't talk."

"What an annoying Yamato Nadeshiko (Note 44 refers to a traditional Japanese woman who follows the 'Three Obediences and Four Virtues' and walks three steps behind a man)..."

We chatted about all sorts of things, and when we arrived at the building entrance, we suddenly heard a loud laugh.

"Hahahaha! Hachiman!"

...Strange, is it just my imagination?

"But why karaoke?"

"Hmm? Hehehehe, Hachiman..."

Yuihama pondered this question for a while.

"Isn't that great? This way, we won't get yelled at even if we're noisy, and we can drink unlimited beverages."

"Hmm... Hachiman? Did you hear me?"

"And I heard that if someone is having a birthday party, they can bring their own cake in."

"But you need to talk to the store first."

The laughter I heard earlier was indeed my imagination, and the three of us continued our conversation.

"Hmm... But it's Yui's birthday, yet the birthday girl is in charge of making the reservations..."

"Yes, is there any way? Otherwise, I don't know where I can go at this time."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm already happy that you guys helped me celebrate my birthday. And the thought of being able to help Yukino makes me even happier."

"Yuihama-san..."

"hey-hey."

The two girls blushed slightly, a little shyly, and exchanged a smile.

Just then, a loud thud came from the ground, and a dark shadow appeared before our eyes—

"JUST A MOOOOMENT! DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!"

The dark figure roared, startling Yukinoshita and Yui, and me too, who both shrank back.

"Ah ah!"

"Wow!"

"Oh my god! That scared me... What? It's Zaimuzusa, so you were here?"

Wait, was he just there?

"Gurgle! If you want to know if I'm here, I'll have to prove my existence first."

He coughed a few times deliberately, and said in a pretentious tone, "This is so annoying."

"Ah, never mind, no need for that. So, what's up?"

The wood-carrying stand, with a smug grin, replied:

"Yeah, right after I left, I came up with a new light novel concept... I can show it to you guys."

"Why do you make it sound like you're giving us charity... Also, please don't give us the settings and outlines, just bring us the complete manuscript."

"Wow! Haha! Haha! Let me tell you, the premise of my new light novel is absolutely brilliant. Come on, come and enjoy!"

"Now? Sorry, we're very busy right now. How about another day?"

The woodworker handed me a stack of papers, but I refused them outright. Then, he suddenly looked into the distance and said:

"Hmph! Hachiman, have you ever heard the saying, 'The god of opportunity only strikes once'? That tells us not to miss an opportunity... Hmm? But even if it's only a strike, can't we still grab onto it by the hand and foot?"

"How would I know? Don't quote things you don't even understand yourself... If you're really in a hurry, you should ask for opinions on online message boards."

"I can't do that. If other Wannabes say, 'Pfft, lol, your work is so bad! Haha, you have absolutely no talent as a writer!' I'd die."

"Before honing your writing skills and creativity, hone your resilience under pressure."

Seeing how utterly worthless the wooden stool had become, I couldn't help but give him a good talking-to.

"Hachiman, what is Wannabe?"

"I'm not sure either, but I feel like it's someone who wants to become a light novel author."

There are various interpretations of this word, but it's generally agreed that Wannabe comes from "I wanna be," meaning "I want to be." However, I don't know much more about its meaning. Yui-hama seemed to know nothing about it either, and thus said admiringly:

"Oh, I thought they were animals from Chiba Zoo."

"...There are no wallabies there (Note 45 wallaby, a type of small kangaroo)."

"Yuigahama-kun, that's an Eastern Grey Kangaroo."

Yukinoshita earnestly corrected him, while Yuihama blushed and offered a rebuttal.

"I know it's a kangaroo! And aren't there smaller ones? I just confused it with that one!"

"...You mean meerkats?"

"That's right! Tsk, what a pity... Okay, let's move on to the next question!"

"It's not a pity at all, and it's not like we're having a Chiba-style quiz right now."

Also, you guys know Chiba Zoo way too well, it's scary.