My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 244

"That's simply because the preliminary judges and editorial team didn't recognize your talent. Please have confidence, continue on your path, never give up, chase your dreams to your last breath, and keep striving forever."

After typing this string of words, I let out a satisfied sigh. The key point of this reply is that I deliberately wrote "last breath" instead of "last moment".

"Oh, the autistic man is so gentle."

"...Being gentle to others is a kind of cruelty."

The innocent Yuihama read my reply and exclaimed in surprise; Yukinoshita looked sad and lowered her eyes.

In short, there's always a trap behind gentleness.

Volume 7.5 BT Bonus Track! Komachi Hikigaya's Scheme

This Bonus Track is a rewrite of the limited-edition special drama CD "Hikiya Komachi's Scheme" from the "My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU" event. The CD content is a continuation of the third episode of the main story and the Bonus Track "A Birthday Song Like This".

"I was born into this world for pleasure; I was born into this world for play..."

This is a passage from the Heian period waka anthology, *Ryōjin Hishō*. It suggests that people come into this world to play. As Akira put it, life is a game, and everything in the world is a game.

However, what exactly do these "games" refer to?

Even if you search the whole world, you won't find a word or behavior with more meaning or a more ambiguous definition than "game".

For example, when we hear "Hello~ big sister, let's go somewhere fun together," we just think, "This realist should just die"; when we hear "You're just messing around with me, right?" we still just think, "This realist should just die."

Nine times out of ten, dishes made with a playful attitude will turn into tragedies; when people attempt something and fail, they will use "I was just having fun" as an excuse to justify themselves.

Therefore, it can be concluded that "playing" is not a good thing.

In other words, if life is for the purpose of pleasure, but since pleasure is not a good thing, it can be proven that such a life will not be very good.

The *Liangchen Secret Text* is truly remarkable; it easily foreshadows that a life devoted solely to pleasure cannot end well. Emperor Go-Shirakawa (Note 12: Emperor Go-Shirakawa after his ordination, the editor of the *Liangchen Secret Text*) indeed didn't go bald; he must have been overworked to the point of baldness. He should be ranked alongside Bruce Willis and Nicolas Cage as one of the "World's Three Great Bald Handsome Men."

Baldness is synonymous with handsomeness, and it represents social status—I think implanting this idea is more feasible than implanting hair.

In conclusion, everything from the word "play" to the behaviors it refers to must be examined.

What will happen to people who only know how to play all day? They are probably not far from a tragic future.

However, when we look at history as a whole, we find this passage: "A Traveler (Note 13: a class that appeared in the game 'Dragon Quest') can change their class to Sage after reaching level 20."

So, how should I put it... playing around a little bit is probably okay...

× × ×

Although it wasn't exactly a spur-of-the-moment decision, we did decide to hold a birthday party for Yuihama.

The participants included Yuihama, Yukinoshita and I, Totsuka whom we met along the way, Komachi whom we met by text message, and Zaimokuza, whom we decided to include based on humanitarian considerations.

Our group went to a karaoke bar, and at the end, we inadvertently witnessed a taboo scene—a female teacher, around thirty years old, was kicked out of a social gathering and, to kill time, came alone to the same bar to sing. Not only that, she even ordered enka (a type of Japanese folk music)... When we discovered this thirty-year-old teacher, who actively participated in social events and could sing enka, she immediately screamed and fled in panic.

Although it was the rainy season, the air in the evening was no longer too stuffy, and the wind blowing from the land to the sea was very cool.

The female teacher's wailing carried on the wind to my ears.

"I really want to get married..."

Her simple and pure wish echoed throughout the streets at night.

I can't tell at all whether this is the Doppler effect or a game similar to "Dynamic Kid" (Note 14: a 1996 PlayStation rap rhythm game). Anyway, that...

The sound lingered in my ears, refusing to dissipate. My vision blurred, and a sharp pain gripped my chest. What was happening? Had I been attacked by mustard gas?

It seemed that I wasn't the only one feeling heartbroken; everyone else present was also looking in the direction where Hiratsuka-sensei had disappeared.

After a long silence, Totsuka, the most composed among us, finally spoke up with concern:

"Hiratsuka-sensei ran away crying, I wonder if she'll be alright..."

As expected of the gentle Totsuka, I really think he's very gentle. Totsuka's anxious gaze as he watched the corner where the teacher ran past, his expression of fear that something might really happen to her, was incredibly gentle (this is mainly my personal opinion).

In contrast, the tone of the reply was both cold and stern.

"Teachers are all adults, there shouldn't be any problems."

Yukinoshita gently brushed her hair aside and said calmly. Sigh, if she kept quiet, she would seem quite good… But she's right, absolutely right, even I can't help but agree.

"Yes. For her age, she's a very mature adult."

I'm serious. The teacher is undoubtedly a wonderful adult; please, someone come and marry her!

"Hmm, to say those words without fear of death, that's commendable courage... The anthem of humanity is the anthem of courage (Note 15: a line from William A. Zeppeli in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)!"

With a trembling expression, Timber Staple wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, then yelled as if his whole body was on fire, "This is so annoying!"

"However, today's birthday party was really great!"

Komachi deftly deflated the heavy atmosphere with a swift movement. As expected of Hikari's ultimate communication weapon, she effortlessly avoided the mortise and tenon joint that everyone dreaded.

Yuihama, whose social skills are built on adapting to others' expressions, also smiled.

"Komachi and everyone else, thank you so much for today!"

Komachi returned Yuihama's smile in return.

Yukinoshita, who had been observing the situation from a few steps away, finally breathed a sigh of relief. In truth, she must have been feeling incredibly anxious the whole time.

At that moment, if I were to express my gratitude to Yukinoshita with my eyes, it would only spoil her rare good mood. Therefore, I silently kept those words to myself.

As long as Yuihama is satisfied with today's birthday celebration, that's enough.

Besides, this period of time wasn't entirely boring for me.

"We were having so much fun that we forgot about the time."

Upon hearing Totsuka's words, Zaimokuza and I simultaneously checked the time.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, it really is too late. The darkest hour is about to begin..."

I gazed at the western sky, which was ablaze with crimson hues at dusk. I knew all too well that if I opened my mouth to answer, I'd be stuck with him until nightfall, so I chose to simply ignore him.

"Well then, I'm going home now. Goodbye."

"Ah, okay. Goodbye."

Yui waved gently, watching me leave, and I raised my hand in return. Just then, Komachi, who was in the corner of the view, seemed to remember something, her eyes lit up, and she hurriedly ran to Yui's side.

"Oh right, Yui-neechan~"

Yuihamami Komachi suddenly approached, a question mark appearing above her head. Komachi, ignoring all that, began to chatter in a low voice. What was that girl planning to do now…? With a bad feeling, I slowly started my journey home. However, her words still reached my ears.

"Is this really how we're going to disband...? Although it's not entirely appropriate for Komachi to say it like this, it's a very rare and important thing that my brother has stepped out of the house... If I want to see my brother go out again next time... (glances)"

Komachi glanced at me deliberately. Yuihama seemed to be thinking as well, her waving slowing down until it stopped completely.

"Goodbye... Ah! Wait, wait a minute!"

She caught up with him, her footsteps echoing.

"Let's play a little longer~"

"Huh? But our house has very strict security."

When invited, the first thing to do is to decline; this is the inherent behavior of a loner and an instinctive avoidance reaction. Think about it: if a junior high school classmate asks if you want to attend a class reunion purely out of social etiquette, and you answer "yes, I'll go," the other person will probably just smile wryly and say, "Oh, you're coming..." Wouldn't that be unfair to them? Since the other person is thinking of you, you should of course think of them too; this is the proper etiquette between adults.

However, Yuihama's invitation didn't seem to be based on social etiquette. Upon hearing my reply, she turned to Komachi to confirm the truth.

"Really? Komachi?"

"No, we don't have a curfew."

Komachi shook her head in denial. After all, the Hikigaya family adopted a laissez-faire approach, and her parents were extremely busy every day, making it impossible for them to be home at this time.

The next moment, someone let out a soft sigh.

"To tell such an obvious lie in front of your own sister, is that brainless or just incredibly shameless... Anyway, you almost never get asked out, so why not just accept this time?"

Yukinoshita's tone was full of helplessness. "But do you think I'd change my mind after being told that... Your invitation was such a terrible tactic."

"Don't forget I have a cat at home, I need to hurry back and take care of it."

When faced with a bad invitation, you should of course use a bad excuse to refuse.

Yukinoshita stopped what she was doing, a hint of hesitation flashing across her face.

Meow—a cat's meow reached my ears. The sound probably came from my mouth, or from Yukinoshita's mind.

Then, Yukinoshita nodded.

"Well, since we have a cat at home, there's nothing we can do about it."

"How could Yukino accept this! The cat... the cat won't have any problems! No, isn't it said that pets resemble their owners? So it should be okay to leave it at home!"

"Hey, that last sentence is redundant."

Komachi and I are indeed very good at being alone, and we even somewhat hope that others won't interfere. Therefore, that statement is basically not wrong, it just sounds a bit like we are not socially adapted or "no longer human".

Despite my pleading, Yuihama completely ignored me. She still tugged at Yukinoshita's sleeve, pleading with teary eyes.

"Okay, let's play a little longer! Everyone's going, right?"

"When did it become a place where everyone goes...? Does the 'everyone' you're referring to include me?"

Yukino protested against Yuihama's unauthorized decision to arrange her schedule, but Yuihama naturally puffed out her chest and loudly declared, "Is that even a question!"

Upon hearing this, Yukino blinked several times, lowered her head slightly, and stammered a soft reply:

"Yes, is it..."

Yuihama was surprised by Yukino's reaction and looked at her face with slight concern.

"...Could it be...you don't like it?"

"No... I'm just a little surprised."

Yukinoshita lifted her face and shook her head a few times, her smooth, glossy hair swaying and covering her flushed cheeks.

However, Yuihama, who was standing directly in front of Yukina, couldn't possibly have missed it, and she probably stared at it so intently that she even sighed slightly.

It seems they've completely fallen in love. This scene is as dazzling as "Girlish Lover" (Note 16: the opening theme of the anime "My Girlfriend and Childhood Friend's Fierce Battle"). Am I looking at some kind of jigsaw puzzle (Note 17: referring to the manga "Kiniro Mosaic," which depicts the cheerful and lively school life of five girls)?

At this moment, another lily bursts into the space filled with blooming lilies.

"Oh! So Yukino-neechan means she can go? That would really boost Komachi's score!"

Komachi asked excitedly. In contrast, Yukinoshita's tone was quite calm.

"Well, since it's Hihama-san who invited me, there's no way I can refuse. I might as well go with her."

"Hooray! You're on your way too, you autistic guy!"

With Yukino's help, Yuihama's confidence immediately soared.

Then, unexpected people chimed in to help.

"That's right, Hachiman, be prepared. If you go, I'll go!"

"You like me far too much..."

I was unexpectedly confessed to by the incredibly annoying Zaimuza... I feel like this guy has been especially persistent lately, it's terrifying—I mean, it's terrifying that I might accidentally admit to his existence at any moment.

However, I am a man, after all, and I have my own dignity, my own principles, and my own beliefs. I cannot simply take back what I have said.

A man's word is his bond. I will never do anything I've said I don't want to do; and I will decide whether to do something I've said I will.

You'd better not look down on me.

To make life easier, I'm willing to go through any hardship, so at times like this, I naturally have to fool Yuihama a little.

"Hey you, you keep saying you want to have fun, but what exactly do you want to have fun with? A life without purpose is just a waste. Even if your life turns out like that, you wouldn't care?"

"Why should I listen to your lectures...?"

Yuihama looked displeased. However, you should be grateful that I didn't end up punching her after my lecture (Note 18 refers to Touma Kamijou, the protagonist of *A Certain Magical Index*). Then again, seeing her "I'm really impressed" expression, it's clear my disruption tactics have worked.

I felt a little relieved, while Yukinoshita stroked her chin, tilted her head, and murmured to herself:

"...That makes sense. Now that you mention it, 'travel' is indeed a word that lacks specific content."

Upon hearing this, Komachi raised her index finger and looked up at the empty sky, beginning to ponder.

"Hmm... Speaking of playing, I think of innocent and childlike games like hide-and-seek and tag. Does that give me an edge?"

"All you ever talk about are points, points (Note 19: In Japanese, both fractions and points are written as 'point'). Are you ever going to stop? Are you a convenience store clerk? I don't have any points cards!"

Every time a clerk asks me this, I feel guilty for not having a points card. And even if I tell them "Oh, no," they'll still kindly ask, "Would you like to get one?" I have to answer "Oh, no" again. What's with that "Oh"? Is it like the English article "a," that it has to be at the beginning?

"Traffic lights, free-roaming lights, wall ghosts... um... and..."