My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 554

"What's wrong? Don't ignore me, I get hurt too."

The tone, as if she were sulking, brought me back to my senses. I glanced at the driver's seat; Ms. Hiratsuka was pouting.

"Ah... I'm sorry. How should I put it, I can't really imagine it..."

I smiled and tried to brush it off, but Hiratsuka-sensei tilted her head slightly and glanced in my direction.

"I can't quite imagine what? Becoming an adult, or still having contact with me three years from now?"

I understand that if I live each day to the fullest, I will naturally grow up someday. However, I still lack a real sense of what it means to "become an adult".

With hard work and a bit of luck, there's always a way to start a family, build a career, and make a living in society. If I may indulge in wishful thinking, I can imagine myself in the future. However, I'm not sure if that would qualify me as an adult. There are also wasted years and child abusers in the world, so age, social status, and marital status are not the sole criteria for judgment.

However, if it's just about living a life that doesn't break the law or harm others, I should be able to manage it. If we broaden our perspective to ten or twenty years from now, perhaps there will be an opportunity to adjust our course.

In comparison, three years later seems neither long nor short, and the sense of reality has increased considerably, making it impossible for me to even indulge in near-delusional fantasies.

"Well, both... but if I had to choose, I'd say the latter."

Considering my personality, I don't think I'll continue to contact Hiratsuka-sensei in the future.

When I answered honestly, Professor Hiratsuka sighed, seemingly speechless.

A red light appeared ahead, and the car gradually slowed down.

During the brief stop, Ms. Hiratsuka slightly opened the electric car window and deftly pulled out a cigarette with one hand.

The sound of flint striking wood rang out, and sparks flashed in the dimly lit car. In that instant, the small flame illuminated Hiratsuka-sensei's gentle face.

Soon after, the red light turned green. The smoke from Hiratsuka-sensei's breath drifted out the window, replaced by the cold night wind and warm words that filled the car.

"You don't understand. So-called interpersonal relationships don't end so easily. Even if you don't see each other every day anymore, you'll find an excuse like celebrating someone's birthday or going out for drinks to get together once every three months."

"is that so?"

Hiratsuka-sensei nodded, looking at the other side of the windshield, and continued:

"Then it became once every six months, once a year, with the intervals getting longer and longer, until finally we only met at weddings, funerals, or class reunions. One day, we won't even think about those people anymore."

"I see... Hmm, this sounds pretty easy?"

Because of her slow and gentle tone, I was almost convinced. No matter how you explained it, it ended cleanly. In my opinion, severing ties is quite simple.

"If we do nothing, that's correct."

She stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and smiled happily.

"Should we go somewhere else and wander around?"

"As you see fit."

As the one being transported, how could they possibly have any objections?

Ms. Hiratsuka turned on the turn signal and turned the steering wheel as her answer.

I wondered where she was going and looked out the window. Soon after, the car drove onto the national highway, heading in the opposite direction from my home.

Ms. Hiratsuka hummed along to the music, in a good mood. She pressed down on the accelerator, the engine hummed, and the streetlights, oncoming headlights, and taillights of the cars next to her all flowed past.

After a while, more and more large trucks and semi-trailers appeared nearby. When the night view of the steel plant appeared in the distance, Mr. Hiratsuka slowly slowed down the car, turned on the turn signal again, and drove into the facility on the left.

The car moved slowly through the spacious parking lot and came to a stop near what appeared to be the entrance to a building.

Mr. Hiratsuka deftly shifted into Park and pulled the handbrake to turn off the engine. Looks like we've arrived at our destination.

We're here.

"I got out of the car," said Ms. Hiratsuka.

Where are we...? I wondered as I got off the bus.

I stared intently at the building; it looked like a large amusement park. Huge green netting hung on part of the top floor, emitting occasional crisp tapping sounds. It seemed there was also a striking practice area attached.

I stood there in a daze, and she waved for me to come over, then walked forward as if she knew the way well. I immediately followed her.

The indoor area is filled with the usual hustle and bustle of an amusement park. Besides arcade games, there are also a variety of other recreational facilities such as darts, billiards, basketball machines, and indoor golf.

Without even glancing at the amusement park rides, Mr. Hiratsuka went straight up the central staircase and hurried towards the striking practice area.

"Oh, it's time for the metal bats."

I looked at the signboard and saw that the baseball bats here would be replaced with different materials at night to avoid noise.

Hiratsuka-sensei quickly bought some tokens, took off her coat, and threw it to me.

"Here you go."

She rolled up her sleeves and walked through the net toward the batting area.

Insert the token, stand in the right batting box, grip the bat, and practice a light, dry swing. Her balance is steady, and her form is quite graceful. Pointing the bat straight ahead, rolling up her sleeves, and getting into position, she looks quite professional.

The screen directly in front of you shows the pitcher raising his arms and throwing the first pitch!

"Hatsuzhi!" (note)

Note: Players of Chiba Lotte Marines. All subsequent names mentioned are also players from the same team.

Mr. Hiratsuka shouted as he swung the bat, and a crisp sound rang out. The baseball traced a large parabola, flying towards the back of the machine. I exclaimed and clapped, and Mr. Hiratsuka grinned, readjusting his stance to prepare for his second swing.

"Hori! Saburo! Sagasaki! Fukuura!"

She pounded the incoming balls one after another, calling out the name of a famous Oceans player with each swing. Next came Otsuka, Kuroki, and Julio Franco. Although the order was a mess, the lineup was still quite tasteful. A very good choice.

It seems she's using shouting to energize herself, but her posture is the same from beginning to end, and I don't quite understand the point of this behavior. Besides, Fukuura is a left-handed hitter, and Kuroki is a pitcher... More importantly, not a single one of them is a current player. Hiratsuka-sensei's age is a concern!

She swings the bat so easily, it seems like nothing's difficult for her. Actually, the ball's speed just now was a whopping 130 km/h. This person is terrifying; why not just pursue a professional career? The Rodneys would probably welcome her.

Ms. Hiratsuka hit a full twenty balls and broke a sweat. She pulled open her shirt to cool off, then crawled through the net to come back. That movement made me unsure where to look; please don't do that…

"Would you like to swing a few times too?"

"I don't need it anymore..."

Despite my refusals, Mr. Hiratsuka flicked the token to me, which I had no choice but to catch. Since I'd caught it, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and go up on the court… However, I had no batting experience and couldn't possibly hit the ball at 130 km/h, so I obediently chose the 100 km/h rack. I tried to mimic his swing a few times, while Mr. Hiratsuka stood behind me, arms crossed, nodding like a seasoned expert. It felt incredibly awkward…

I stepped into the batter's box, and the first ball came flying at me faster than I expected. I swung it perfectly but missed. I couldn't hit it at all... As I was thinking about what to do, Mr. Hiratsuka gave me instructions from behind.

"Watch the ball's trajectory carefully, hold the bat a little further forward, and keep your armpits wide open. Don't try to swing the big bat; practice slowly, just glancing at the ball, and master the timing."

This person is so long-winded...

Even so, I still tapped home plate with my bat and got back into position. Following Mr. Hiratsuka's advice, I swung, this time producing a loud "boom-bang-clang" (note). I felt a tingling sensation in my palm, and excitedly turned around. Mr. Hiratsuka nodded vigorously, gave me a slight thumbs-up, and even winked at me. I was both delighted and shy, and couldn't help but chuckle along.

Note: The unique batting sound of Masami Iwagi, a character in the baseball manga "Big Rice Bucket".

Okay, I think I've got the hang of it... I picked up the bat three times, focusing intently on the incoming ball, sometimes missing, sometimes hitting mediocrely, and occasionally making a pleasant sound. When I finished, I let out a big sigh of relief.

I walked out of the strike zone, and there was Hiratsuka-sensei sitting on the bench behind her, smoking. Beside her were drinks she had bought at some point, and a tsukiyaki.

"Um."

"Oh, thank you."

She quietly handed me a can of coffee, which I gratefully accepted, and then sat down next to her.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"If physical activity could improve one's mood, would athletes still use performance-enhancing drugs?"

She gave me a gentle look, and I was so embarrassed that I couldn't help but make a fuss with my mouth. Hiratsuka-sensei smiled wryly and brushed it off.

"You're so unlovable."

"...However, I really appreciate your concern...I'm sorry for causing you trouble until the very end."

Ms. Hiratsuka paused for a moment, then sighed deeply, brushed aside her long hair, and placed her hand on my head.

"You sometimes show your cute side, which is really awful."

She touched my head until it hurt. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, my feelings were complicated, and more importantly, it hurt. I pulled away from her palm, leaving a fist's distance between us, and she finally let go.

The teacher, with a slight smile, a cigarette dangling from his lips, toying with the lighter, exhaling thin plumes of smoke, murmured:

"What were you doing at the stairwell just now?"

"Ah... something came up."

This question came so suddenly that I stammered. But Professor Hiratsuka smiled gently, as if he had already seen through everything.

"Did Yang say anything to you?"

"...Yes, we talked a lot."

I had no choice but to admit it. Ms. Hiratsuka stared intently at me, waiting for me to continue. I knew I couldn't lie to her anymore, so I poured out my still-unorganized thoughts, word by word.

"I don't think I can get drunk, just like that person."

"Yes, that's right... This isn't referring to a bar, is it?"

Hiratsuka-sensei asked with a slightly uneasy look, and I nodded with a wry smile.

"...It probably refers to the atmosphere or the relationship. That person said our relationship is 'co-dependent.' I didn't want to admit it, so I tried to struggle with it...but it was quite difficult."

If it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't say these things. Because I simply couldn't bring myself to say them. I can't bear to have my weaknesses exposed. Not because of cowardly pride, but because of arrogant shame.

Therefore, no matter how much I'm pressed for answers, I'll always try to bluff my way out of it and use my silver tongue to deceive them.

Only in front of Ms. Hiratsuka do I not need to pretend or put on a brave face. She is a much more mature adult than me, and she always helps me draw boundaries.

At that moment, Professor Hiratsuka didn't ask any more questions. He just smoked his cigarette and pondered the meaning of what I had said.

"Interdependence, huh. It really sounds like a word Yang Nai would choose. But her usage is more like a metaphor. Knowing this, she still deliberately says things like that... She really likes you."

"Haha, not happy at all..."

"If we look at it from the essence of things, then it's not impossible to explain Yang Nai's words this way... Oh right, you and she are both good at seeing through the essence of things."

She concluded with a joke, and I chuckled dryly a few more times. Ms. Hiratsuka also raised the corners of her mouth, stubbed out her cigarette with the edge of the ashtray, and turned to face me.

"But I don't think so. Your relationship with Yukinoshita and Yuihama isn't that kind of relationship."

Just before a wisp of white smoke disappeared into the air, a heavy smell of tar wafted over.

This smell has become all too familiar. No one around me smokes this kind of cigarette; one day, it will become a nostalgic scent.

"Don't use such a simple term as codependency to summarize it."

Ms. Hiratsuka reached out and gently put her arm around my shoulder. I will never forget the smell of cigarettes on her hand.

"Perhaps you accept her perspective. However, don't distort other people's feelings with borrowed words, and don't interpret those feelings with simple symbols."

She looked into my eyes and asked gently.

"Can your feelings be summed up in a few words?"

"...How could that be? I can't stand it if someone tries to explain it in a single sentence. Besides, that's not something that can be conveyed with words."

Even now, I still can't fully express my thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Words spoken without meaning are no different from barking. I'm just barking, telling myself not to project a single emotion onto myself, baring my teeth and howling—how can that possibly convey anything? At the same time, I'm also tucking my tail between my legs, implying that it doesn't matter if I can't communicate.

Amidst the restlessness, I couldn't help but grip the coffee can tightly in my hand.

However, after the teacher let go of my shoulder, she nodded in satisfaction.

"You have the answer in your heart, but you don't know how to arrive at it, so you try to convince yourself with simple words and apply them to yourself."

Perhaps. I rely on the word "codependency," which best expresses my emotions and encompasses all my likes and dislikes. Once I use it to explain things, I don't need to think about anything else. It's simply stopping thinking and escaping reality.

"But there isn't just one way to do things. The same sentence can be expressed in countless ways."

Hiratsuka-sensei took out a pen from her breast pocket and waved it a few times triumphantly, like a magician's wand.

Then, she started writing on the napkin.

"For example, I also have many opinions about you. Difficult, cowardly, eccentric, with a bleak future..."

As she spoke, she hastily scribbled down these words.

"Oh dear, you wrote me so badly..."

"That's not all. I have a lot of opinions about you, so many that it's too much trouble to even say them out loud."

Hiratsuka-sensei simply gave up writing and started doodling with his brush.

The napkin slowly turned black from the edges, leaving only the center white. But soon, the center too began to be eroded by black ink, and the blank space gradually took the shape of a word.

"However, all of these parts are included..."

Before I could recognize the shape of the blank space, Ms. Hiratsuka handed me the paper.