My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 588

"Uh, I mean, Yukinoshita."

"It's your prerogative to break the law, but I don't think it's good to involve others. Please be mindful of this."

"I've already been verbally abused and humiliated before you even laid a hand on me!"

I roared at the top of my lungs.

"The content of the short drama is completely different! It's turned into a storyline where someone steals a sandbag and berates him! What are you doing?"

"I was just stating obvious common sense. Is that what you call complaining?"

I was surprised to witness firsthand Yukino's air of a sheltered young lady in this sense. I almost laughed.

"Isn't it?"

She asked anxiously, and I slowly shook my head. Ultimately, it's impossible to perform with someone who only has this much knowledge of comedy.

"It's alright. I shouldn't have asked for your help. I can handle it myself. Thanks."

Everyone has things they can and cannot do, just like asking a tortoise to run faster won't help, or asking a horse to grow wings and fly won't help. For Yukinoshita, this is just a sarcastic remark, nothing more.

"Then I'll head back now."

"..."

Under the snow, her head was lowered, and she didn't even glance at me as I turned to leave.

The next day after school, I packed my things, intending to go straight home. As I walked out of the classroom, I found Yukino standing at the door.

"Oh. What's up? Do you need to see Yuigahama?"

"No. I'm looking for you."

"Looking for me?"

"Wait until we reach the Service Society's office. That's an order."

After saying that, she quickly walked towards the office... Huh? What? What order? Oh well... I'll go then.

I followed the direction Yukinoshita had gone, then opened the door to the Service Club office. When I turned around, Yukinoshita was standing in front of me, looking menacing.

"I'm here. What do you want?"

"Perform a short play for me."

Yukinoshita's answer was once again unexpected, and my brain couldn't keep up.

"What's the meaning?"

"Let's perform yesterday's skit again."

"Why? It's so strange."

"Don't ask so many questions, just act."

Seeing how stubborn she was, performing the skit seemed like a forced situation. There was no other way. I stood in front of Yukinoshita and cleared my throat. Performing the same skit again wouldn't be very funny, would it?

"Let's begin. The short play, 'The Sandbag'."

"Sandbag" refers to someone who gets paid to be hit.

"Welcome. I make punching bags. I'll take your money, but whether you can actually hit them is up to you. Want to give it a try?"

"Okay. I'm in a bad mood right now, let me give it a try."

Yukinoshita slowly stood in front of me.

"But you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to beat up a stranger, would you? So I'll say some lines that will make it easier for you to do it. Try it after you hear them."

"understood."

"Well, I have to say... wait, did you get a bad haircut? No? No, no, it's definitely a bad haircut!"

After she finished speaking, Yukinoshita slapped me hard across the face. Because she was so serious, I dodged with all my might.

We continued acting in this manner, and I barely dodged slap after slap, managing to finish the short play safely. I was shocked by something. During the performance of the short play, Yukinoshita's吐槽 (tu cao, a form of witty retort) skills kept improving.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're completely different from yesterday, you've suddenly become quite sarcastic. Why?"

"I went home and studied comedy."

Upon closer inspection, one can see faint dark circles under Yukinoshita's eyes.

"I've been watching all sorts of videos online, learning how to make sarcastic or critical comments. That should help me improve."

"More than just a little. It's vastly different from yesterday."

That's right. There's no one more unwilling to admit defeat than Yukino Yukinoshita. That's what I said before I left yesterday.

"It's alright. I shouldn't have asked for your help. I can handle it myself."

That must have been incredibly harsh on her. But to be able to deliver such a precise critique so soon, just one day later… typical of Yukinoshita.

"Yukino, your witty remarks have become so good, you could go on stage right now. Please come up on stage with me."

"That goes without saying."

Yukinoshita's expression looked unusually smug.

"Oh, right. There's something I wanted to ask you."

"What's up?"

"I saw someone perform a short play that's very similar to yours. Who was that person?"

Oh, did she see the original video?

"He's a professional comedian. I borrowed this joke from him."

“…Huh?”

Yukinoshita clearly showed disgust.

"Didn't you write this script yourself?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I just used that person's joke directly."

"...They actually stole other people's intellectual property."

She was trembling with anger under the snow.

"Uh, no, I was just saying it's just a friendly gathering, so using the same joke won't make a difference."

"Don't underestimate children. Those tricks used to fool kids will definitely be seen through. So if we're going to act, we'll have to come up with a completely new storyline."

I don't know why Yukinoshita has become so enthusiastic about comedy, but when I heard that sentence, I realized that she had obviously turned on some kind of switch.

"Write me a new script by tomorrow!"

I regretted it in my heart, wondering if I had chosen a terrible partner.

The next day after school, I opened the door to the Service Club office, and Yukinoshita and Yuigahama Yui were both inside.

"Hey, autistic guy—"

"Oh, Yuihama. You're here today."

My words carried a hint of sarcasm, but Yuihama didn't seem to mind at all.

"I heard! You're going to perform manga talent with Yukino, right?!"

"Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be manzai, but we'll be performing together on stage."

"That's why I brought this!"

Yuhi pointed to two large gold bow ties.

"I borrowed it from the drama club! Don't you think wearing this will give you a professional manzai (Japanese comedic role-playing) look?"

In this day and age, almost no comedian would wear such a large bow tie. Why are the girls in this office not familiar with comedians? If I had to say, comedians' biggest fans are probably mostly women.

"I don't know if I'll ever need it, Yuihama, thanks."

"Huh—⁉ Maybe I won't need it? This is a rare opportunity, I'll wear it!"

"But no celebrity would actually wear that kind of bow tie. It's just a figment of imagination."

"What does it matter?"

Yukinoshita suddenly interrupted my conversation with Yuihama.

"Since the target audience is children, it's better to prioritize their imagination. So I'll be grateful to use this bow tie."

"Really?! Yukino, thank you!"

I ignored Yuihama holding Yukinoshita's hand, feeling terrified by Yukinoshita's dramatically increased knowledge of comedy. Maybe I've found a really scary partner.

"Then it's time to practice. Is the new script finished?"

"Well, I finally finished writing it. But I'm a little unsure of myself."

"It's okay to read the script and act it out over there, let's give it a try. Yui-san, could you please take a look for us?"

"Okay! Sure!"

"So my wish is to die on a tatami mat."

"That's enough."

"Step down and bow."

Yukinoshita and I bowed deeply. As soon as we looked up, Yuihama clapped with an expression of admiration.

"Yuigahama-san, what are your thoughts?"

"It feels so much like a comedy sketch!"

"What kind of feelings are these...?"

Her poor communication skills made me want to complain. However, Yui's reaction was quite good. Yesterday I wrote several scripts, figuring out which style would make people laugh, and now my efforts seem to be paying off, which makes me genuinely happy. Hopefully, the family gathering next week will go smoothly too.

"As long as Yuihama-san likes it."

"I'm talking about Yukino, your movements have a real manzai (stand-up comedy) feel to them."

"Yes. I've been watching a lot of comedy shows to learn."

"Autistic men actually seem to have terrible acting skills!"

Really? I really like comedy shows. I used to watch them, so I was quite confident, but I never expected to lose to Yukinoshita, who only studied seriously for two days. No, maybe Yukinoshita has comedic talent to begin with, but comparing myself to her is pointless. The script is already written, so everything should be fine.

"Then let's move on to the next one."

"Yeah...wait, next?"

What was Yukinoshita's next question? As I wondered, Yukinoshita took two pieces of paper out of her bag.

"Next, we'll perform the script I wrote."

"...Huh—! You, you wrote one too?"

"Yes. Because I want to experience what it's like to write a screenplay."

I recoiled in fear at the unfathomable passion emanating from beneath the snow. This guy not only improved his acting skills, he even wrote the script. What an astonishing ability. Is this the perfect Superman?

"Yuihama-san, would you mind watching it again?"

"Um!"

So, we performed the script written by Yukinoshita again.

"There's no good in going to the beach, is there?"

That's not what I meant. Never mind.

"Step down and bow."

We bowed as before. Lifting her face, Yui clapped five times louder than before and stood up from her chair. I couldn't believe she would stand up and clap. To witness something like this in a place like this, I couldn't help but admire her. But my admiration vanished in an instant; Yui's reaction was so different from before that I couldn't accept it.

"Wow, amazing! Did Yukino come up with this? It's so interesting!"

"I've watched many performances and came up with this idea considering the audience's preferences. I'm glad to hear you say that."

"That's amazing! Compared to the last one, it's like heaven... ah."

Yui covered her mouth. I glared at Yui.

"Go ahead and tell me, it's okay. Compared to my script, it's nothing!"