My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 589

"Uh, uh—the weather's nice! Hahaha."

The transition was quite abrupt. But I also vaguely sensed the difference. My script was at least somewhat laughable, but compared to Yukinoshita's, the gap was obvious.

The script flows smoothly, drawing the audience into the story. Clever witty remarks drive the plot. The theme is trendy, naturally incorporating moments of feigned silliness and foolishness. The latter half even resolves some foreshadowing that seemed unclear at the beginning. Overall, it's a very high-quality script.

"This script is amazing. It'll definitely be fine when it goes on stage."

“Is that so?”

Yukinoshita felt a little embarrassed. She must be very happy, trying to hide her joy, but a smile still lingered on her lips.

"The audience will definitely laugh a lot this way!"

Yuihama happily struck a victory pose. Yukinoshita and I smiled at the sight.

A week later, it was Sunday. It was 12:30. We were in the waiting room of the community center's social welfare association.

It's almost our turn to go on stage. I can feel my nervousness myself, and I keep reaching out to touch the bow tie that Yuihama borrowed from the drama club.

"There are about thirty children, and several parents as well."

The words of the community service staff member echoed in my mind. Really? That makes sense, of course there will be adults present as well. That means about forty people in total. The thought of so many people made me increasingly nervous.

"It's almost our turn."

To ease the tension, I struck up a conversation with Yukinoshita. Yukinoshita didn't respond, instead sitting in her chair muttering to herself.

"...The bookstore has no books. The bookstore has no books."

It seems they are reviewing the script.

That said, this past week, Yukinoshita has been pushing me to practice like a devilish coach. I told her it was just a three-minute performance and there shouldn't be any problems, but she replied, "There are monsters living on the stage," and refused to reduce the amount of practice.

Are you saying how you knew there were monsters living on stage? This must be your first time performing manzai.

Well, being cautious won't hurt. So even though I'm this nervous right now, I shouldn't forget my lines.

At that moment, the door to the waiting room opened, and a staff member poked their head out.

"It's almost your turn, please get ready."

"Okay, got it."

Yukinoshita responded, quietly rose, and walked out of the waiting room. That girl is reliable. I followed Yukinoshita, ready to leave, and noticed a large bow tie on the table.

...That guy forgot to wear it!

Although it wasn't obvious on the surface, she might be nervous. Thinking about it, I found her calm expression rather endearing. I took her bow tie and walked out of the waiting room.

After walking for a while, they came to the doorway leading to the large room where the family gathering was being held. Yukinoshita and the staff were standing there.

"Hey, you forgot your bow tie."

"Thank you."

Yukinoshita stiffly took the bow tie and put it on.

"Well then, your older brothers and sisters are about to perform for you—are you ready—?"

"""alright--"""

I heard the children responding loudly.

"finally."

"yes."

Perhaps it's because we've been rehearsing intensively for the past week, but I've inexplicably developed a sense of camaraderie, and I wonder if I'm the only one feeling this way. I even think that since Yukinoshita seems so calm and collected, there's no need to worry.

"Now, it's your turn to come up on stage. Thank you."

""OK.""

The staff opened the door in front of us. A bunch of children were looking at us.

"Hello everyone--!"

Just seeing the children's eyes fixed on me made my mind go blank. I desperately suppressed my nervousness and ran onto the stage.

"Hello everyone—today we're going to talk about manzai (Japanese stand-up comedy). Nice to meet you all."

Yukinoshita greeted everyone gently, and the audience responded loudly in agreement. Hmm, that felt good.

"Then keep it up!"

"Hey, you with the grumpy face, can I ask you a question?"

"That's going too far. Yukinoshita, my name is Hachiman."

"I want to try being a kindergarten teacher."

Despite being a little nervous, I didn't lose my rhythm during the manzai performance. Okay, it seems like I won't make any mistakes.

"Then let's give it a try."

"Thank you. Then I'll be the kindergarten teacher, and you'll be the kindergarten director."

"Kindergarten?!"

I tried to act out a kindergarten scene using physical actions.

"Ugh, who can be a kindergartener?! Why do I have to be a kindergartener?! Let me be a kindergarten student!"

"Ugh—you're disgusting."

"Where does it disgust you!"

This is where Yui Hama also laughs happily.

However, an unexpected event occurred.

Nobody's laughing. Nobody's laughing. Wait, there are some children laughing, but only two or three. Oh no. Keep going, keep going.

"Then I'll play a kindergarten student."

"Okay, kids in the Little Bear Class—"

"exist--"

"You're too quiet, kids in the Little Bear class—"

"exist--"

"...The children in the Little Bear Class—"

"?……exist--"

"Little Bear's Little Friend!

"How terrifying! Don't put so much pressure on kindergarten students!"

This is a scene depicting the volume of the children's responses and the teacher constantly putting pressure on them. I burst out laughing when I first saw the script.

But... no one laughed. It was a disaster.

Oh no. Why? Looking to the side, Yukinoshita also seemed a little anxious. Perhaps because of her anxiety, her speaking speed seemed to have become even faster than during practice.

The children in front of us looked at us with disappointment. Oh no. What should we do?

"ah--"

One of the children turned to leave the room but was stopped by staff.

"Let's take another look—the older brothers and sisters are working very hard!"

Seeing the speed at which the staff spoke, I realized something. They spoke very slowly. That's right. When talking to children, the pace usually slows down. It must be to match the children's speaking speed. But our performance content and speaking speed are based on adults. This won't work.

"Can you be serious for once—"

I slowed down my speech, trying to convey this to Yukinoshita. Yukinoshita, however, gave me a "Why are you speaking so slowly?" look and spoke at the same pace as during practice.

No, that won't work. The children won't understand. Find it quickly! Find it quickly!

At this moment, a very sad expression appeared on Yukinoshita's face.

It wasn't because all my efforts and time spent on manzai had been wasted; it was purely out of guilt towards these children who were so looking forward to this family gathering performance.

At least that's how I feel.

Yes. It's painful not being able to meet the children's expectations, isn't it?

A miraculous idea instantly popped into my head. But if I used that trick, Yukino would probably hate me again.

But doing this is for Yukino's good, and for the children's good.

I made up my mind.

"So, what is Hachiman drawing—?"

Now they're showing a scene where we're drawing in kindergarten. I was supposed to answer that I was drawing my mom, and Yukinoshita said, "Ah—it's my mom waving at a K-pop idol, wow, that's really detailed."

"Huh? What is Hachiman drawing?"

I didn't immediately respond with my lines, so Yukino thought I had forgotten them and asked me again.

"Um, what I'm drawing is... poop!"

"Huh?!"

My unexpected answer elicited a look from Yukinoshita that was 20% surprise and 80% disdain. It was probably because, even if it was impromptu, the answer was just too bizarre. However...

"Hahahahaha."

Looking towards the source of the laughter from beneath the snow, the children burst into laughter at the same time.

That's right. Kids love lowbrow jokes.

If you can add it into the dialogue, then do so.

"Look, this is my poop. This is Tanaka's poop. This is Sato's poop."

I don't care about the consequences, I just keep using the word "poop" like crazy.

Yukino looked at me with an indescribable expression, while the children laughed incessantly.

"Then, here's a picture of poop poop. All of it is beautiful poop! This is poop, poop, poop, poop, poop..."

Every time the story about poop is told, the laughter gets louder and louder. Kids love lowbrow and repetitive jokes. I've seen my relative's child laugh like that, so I know.

"Poop, poop, poop, poop, only this one is a penis. Teacher, did I draw it well?"

Amidst a burst of laughter, I winked at Yukinoshita. She seemed to sense my intention and sighed.

"That's too low-class! Enough is enough."

We bowed to the audience, and the children responded with enthusiastic applause. Some were even still laughing heartily.

"Say thank you to the older brothers and sisters, one, two, three—"

""""Thanks!""""

We returned to the waiting room, listening to the expressions of gratitude from the crowd.

"I'm in a terrible mood right now."

Back in the waiting room, Yukinoshita's first words were spoken in a very heavy tone.

"What are you thinking? You've arbitrarily adapted the script into something that would even raise questions about my character."

"I'm sorry. But the atmosphere was so tense that I had no choice but to resort to this."

"The atmosphere was definitely tense before that, but the jokes that follow might make the audience laugh."

I don't think Yukinoshita truly felt that way. But that's what she wanted to say. It shows how seriously she took this performance.

"Fortunately, the children were laughing a lot."

"...Perhaps."

She murmured to herself, took off her bow tie, and revealed a gentle expression of relief.

"Alright, how should I tell Hiratsuka-sensei?"

"You're in charge of thinking about it. I don't know how to say it."

"Hmm—let's just say it was very well received."

"What if she hears this and says, 'Since the reviews are so good, let's hold one at our school too?'"