My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 624

"In that case..."

"But I know that no matter how badly you are hurt, you will not give in. I know that you will overcome it with your own strength, and I know that you will move forward again."

That's why she gritted her teeth and thought, "As long as it's to achieve that goal..."

"As long as it's to protect something important or someone important."

"...What's wrong with that?"

"I didn't say it was bad. I just don't like it."

Oh yeah, this guy got angry with me for similar reasons before.

I remember he scolded me, "Why do you only know that method?"

"Because that's something other people... no, at least it's something I absolutely could never do."

I thought he was simply criticizing my clumsy actions...

"...Well, from what I hear, it's just jealousy, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's right."

"You actually admit... you really are Hayama Hayato?"

"Because you're not jealous of me, are you? You've never envied me even once, have you?"

But even if it's because of drinking, even if it's because past memories are amplified in the wrong direction.

"But seeing you, who seems out of place in class, and who is able to accept it, makes me feel terrible. It's like being forced to watch the possibility of becoming someone you want to be, but can never be, and it's disgusting."

If what he's saying and his feelings right now aren't even remotely genuine, I don't think I'll ever be able to trust humans again.

"Hey... give me one, please."

"Don't you not smoke?"

"This kind of foolish conversation can't be covered up with alcohol."

Unfazed by my glaring gaze, Ye Shan took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed it to me.

I took out a cigarette, and he naturally brought the lighter closer.

This behavior alone reveals the old Hayama Hayato style, but I never expected that I would end up smoking with him. It felt really awkward.

What is this? What is this thing?

"...Pfft."

"I advise you not to inhale it into your lungs. Is this your first time smoking?"

"That's long-winded."

Ye Shan also lit a cigarette, his expression a mix of mockery and concern, watching my embarrassing first attempt at smoking.

The smoke filling my chest relentlessly irritated my bronchi, and coughing now would be too embarrassing, so I desperately swallowed the smoke and exhaled it all at once.

...I bet the clothes will smell of smoke. That guy will probably notice.

"You've become very embarrassing."

"Yeah?"

My lungs have finally started to adjust to the smoke, and my mood is gradually calming down.

As my emotions calmed down, the anger ignited by the unreasonable treatment I had just received turned into confusion that dominated my mind.

"A classmate I hadn't seen in ages insisted on bringing up unpleasant memories, lecturing me in a tone as if he was about to start a fight. And it happened at a party... He's such an annoying old man. Adding a bald head would make him perfect."

"That's really great... My dream is to be an ordinary middle-aged man, lost in the crowd."

After taking a drag of his cigarette, he seemed to calm down a bit, and his previously emotional words became more rational... no, they had a sarcastic tone.

What's wrong with this guy? He really doesn't intend to change his confrontational attitude towards me.

"I want to marry anyone, take any job, start playing golf, film like crazy at the kids' sports meet, smoke on the balcony while being scolded by my wife, be pestered by my subordinates at parties, but become kind as soon as the topic of children comes up... I want to be that kind of person."

Indeed, I can resonate with the dream that Hayama described... provided I don't have to work.

but……

"Then let me put it another way... You've been in an awkward position, both now and in the past."

Once my calm anger ignites, it won't be easily quelled.

"You haven't grown at all, you haven't let go of your pride. How long and to what extent are you going to look down on people? Why is marriage and having children a prerequisite? Why are the people bothering you at the party subordinates? When did you get promoted? Stop putting on airs like a boss, you bastard."

I screamed inwardly in embarrassment, "Wow, even I'm so embarrassed!" But once the words were out, I couldn't take them back.

"Whether in the past or now, you should be able to become the person you want to be. As long as you put your mind to it, you can definitely become a boring old man."

Moreover, I couldn't swallow back what I was saying afterward; I was just like a drunk college student at a social gathering, rambling on and on.

"But you don't really want to be that kind of person, so you can't do anything. You carefully cover it all up with boring excuses."

Ye Shan did not interrupt me as I continued speaking; he simply waited calmly for me to finish.

"I guarantee it. You'll never become a boring old man, not even if you die. How could you possibly become such a sophisticated person?"

Looking back now, it seems like this guy was waiting for me to do this all along.

"You just said I wouldn't be jealous of you, right? Of course. How could I be jealous of such a boring person? Neither now nor before."

In other words, I was tricked...?

"You are really, really... embarrassing."

"Specifically, which parts?"

"Your way of reading people is strange. To avoid hurting others and to prevent anything from being destroyed, you're a little too insistent on maintaining the status quo."

Is maintaining the status quo really that bad?

"If you suppress yourself to achieve this goal, no one can stop you, but your situation will cause others to suppress themselves as well. For example, Tobe, and even Miura."

"Oh, yes, that's true..."

"And you'll regret it, apologize, and make things even more embarrassing. You're just a madman who can't be good at being either a good person or a bad person."

What permeated my entire body—was it the alcohol, the cigarette smoke, or the ominous atmosphere...?

Hayama influenced me to become like him, gradually turning into a preachy middle-aged man.

"Haha, not bad... I might actually be a crazy person who's neither here nor there."

The person I was scolding seemed unusually pleased to see me lose my temper and easily urged me to continue spewing insults.

...So I really was tricked?

"What's so fun about doing that kind of thing? As a rich and handsome guy, you need to indulge your desires even more. You're at the very top of the pyramid, you have to show your despicable nature. Winning the university's most handsome contest but getting arrested for sexual harassment, that's what you call the victors."

Things I normally only think in my heart and would never say aloud, but no matter how hard I try to hold back, they still slip out one after another. I feel both excited and annoyed. It feels so good to swear!

"Hey, Hachiman... what should I do?"

On the surface, he was being verbally abused mercilessly, but deep down he probably had a completely different expression. Ye Shan sadly looked away and lit another cigarette.

"No... what should I do?"

"Who knows? Go ahead and worry about it your whole life."

"I thought so too, that's just the kind of person you are."

Even this completely outdated Showa-era style of movement has a certain air of authenticity, which is why this guy can never forgive himself.

"Didn't I tell you? When we were in elementary school, if you were in our class, 'she' would have done something drastic."

"Huh? Um, is that true...?"

“…………”

"Okay, I remember! Don't make that face!"

...I hadn't realized before that cigarettes are a convenient tool that can exert silent pressure on people simply by exhaling smoke upwards.

"If that's the case, could 'she' change? Could she be redeemed... Oh, it might be a bit rude to talk about this now. After all, she's only like this now because she's had that kind of life..."

"Don't keep bringing up unrelated topics, it makes me feel awkward."

Rather, please refrain from discussing any settings that might be mentioned in the final chapter. That's why I told the editorial department to set the deadline for (omitted below).

"But even so, in the end, nothing will change, right...? Haven't you thought about that?"

"How could I possibly have thought of that? It's such a hassle."

Even if I don't distort myself or change the people around me; even if you don't distort yourself or change the people around you; even if I ignore the feelings of many people, even if only a special person holds special feelings for you... in the end, we'll still be just as pathetic as we are now.

"...What are you trying to say this time?"

"We are people whose existence in each other's world is insignificant..."

"Of course. Because I'm not interested in you."

"Wouldn't you be furious if someone said that to your face?"

"You started this conversation yourself, and now you're blaming me?!"

Ugh, that's enough, really... this guy is so annoying today.

To be honest, the melancholy aura emanating from Hayama made me wonder if he was not adapting well to his current job, or if he was okay.

It is said that people who have never experienced setbacks are so fragile that they will break at the slightest touch. Please don't make me say something like "That was the last time I talked to that guy..." in my later monologue.

"Here, a beer."

"Excuse me……"

I handed him the canned beer I bought from a nearby convenience store. Hayama looked a little embarrassed, but he still obediently accepted it.

He pulled the tab, and the satisfying sound of gas escaping from the can was followed by the dull thud of the aluminum cans clattering together, then the hearty sound of beer going down his throat, and finally, we let out another "Pfft~" with a deep, middle-aged sigh.

Drinking canned beer in front of an izakaya (Japanese pub) is considered obstructing business, right? And holding a beer in one hand while chatting is definitely not something a person in their early twenties would do. What are we doing?

"You don't have to worry about me, you can go back first, right?"

"It's okay, I can't stay there anyway."

From the very beginning, our conversation was completely meaningless; it was just a matter of negating each other without regard for appearances, only to turn back before escalating into mutual slander and a constant competition to see who was more cowardly.

"Really? I think a lot of people actually want to talk to you. Especially some women..."

"Your need is theoretically hundreds of times greater than mine. If you want to go back, then go back."

"It's a bit inconvenient right now... It will probably take some time before I can go back to being myself."

"as you like."

The reason this verbal sparring couldn't end immediately was because the "disheartened and self-destructive Hayama Hayato" before them was too rare... or rather, too rare to ignore.

That's right, it's definitely not because going into the store and meeting many former classmates would increase the risk of contradicting the original author's vision. It's just that this trope has been overused.

"Thinking about it calmly, the two of us are acting so pathetic right now... This kind of behavior is only suitable for someone of Xiaojing's caliber."

"Oh, I also invited Hiratsuka-sensei, but unfortunately, today's date clashes with her friend's wedding."

I got overtaken by a friend again, and it's been so long. It's like a best friend who promised me at the last minute, "We'll run to the finish line together," and then suddenly accelerates at the last second... no, it's like a friend who promised me, "We'll never run to the finish line." Oh well, whatever. No, nothing is good either way.

"By the way, your teacher still cares about you. By the way, what's she up to lately...?"

Shut up. I don't want to hear it.

Because I feel that after hearing this, regardless of whether that person is happy or unhappy, I will be devastated and unable to recover... What kind of ex-girlfriend feeling is this? A female protagonist who, after five years apart, rekindles her love in one fell swoop, abandoning her family, friends, and lover to run away abroad with him? (Note 39)

I don't know if it was the weather or the thoughts in my mind, but I felt a slight chill and decided to stop talking to Hayama and take out my phone to make a message.

Hayama also looked at his phone, as if to cooperate with my escapist behavior.

After a while, we both silently scrolled through our phones, passing the time that, while not exactly blissful for me, was in a way very much my style.

That being said, unlike before, there's always someone on the other end of the screen. And that's the norm now...

"...Is she doing well?"

Not long after, probably tired, the person next to me, who should have been focused on scrolling through their phone, muttered a question that went straight to the point, directed at me, who should have been focused on scrolling through their phone.

"Oh, speaking of which, Komachi's status as the strongest little sister has been getting higher and higher lately, to the point where she could become the nation's little sister. But she has decided to remain her brother's little sister for life, turning down a five-year, three billion yen reward and announcing that she will continue to serve as her sister..."

"I'm not going to run away with you. Just say what you don't want to say."