My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 625

"What are you up to, you bastard? I'll fuck you!"

Komachi smoothly basks in the glow of university life. A friend recommends her to participate in a beauty pageant, where she unsurprisingly wins. She desperately wants to work at Chiba TV, but Tokyo's broadcasting station won't let her go. From a weather forecaster to a morning news anchor, she's eventually nicknamed "Chicken Tani" and marries a professional baseball player. This nightmarish future awaits her, but this man…

At least pick a player from the Chiba Lotte Marines team, that way I can accept it... No, my brother still doesn't want to accept it, what should I do?

"Hey, I saw you were still texting her during the class reunion, so things must have gone smoothly. Sorry for asking, but I don't need to know the answer."

"I don't know if things are going smoothly or not, but all I'm talking about right now is complaining about you."

"What did she say?"

"...She asked me to send her a photo of us together. She seems to be lacking something funny to make her laugh out loud lately."

"Shall we take a picture?"

"Who wants it!"

This man has no idea how annoyed I was. He perfectly read the atmosphere and precisely uttered the lines that infuriated me...

If I had known this would happen, I would have been obediently drowned out by the noise of the grand banquet hall and remained an outsider. How much easier that would have been!

"Oh, right, I was thinking of asking this before..."

"She's doing very well. Whoever you're referring to."

I wasn't content to be the only one constantly getting angry at him, so...

"So, is your true love line your older sister or your younger sister?"

“…………”

I also perfectly read the atmosphere and used my ultimate weapon, which could only be used once and would end the match thereafter.

That should keep him quiet for a while. No, he might never speak again.

"........."

Ye Shan first took a deep drag of his cigarette and then spent a long time exhaling.

"………………………………"

Then it took a long time to suck out the beer residue at the bottom of the can.

"Why aren't you saying anything? It can't be your mother, can it?"

"…………………………………………"

He found he had run out of cigarettes and alcohol. He tried to grab another cigarette, but the whole pack was empty. Anxious, he crumpled the cardboard box in his hands. He remained empty-handed for a while, and then…

"You're still the same as ever, utterly despicable!"

"I'm truly honored to receive your praise!"

A tone of panic I've never heard before...

As the beer warms up in your throat, its flavor becomes incredibly mellow and aromatic.

"So, I still can't agree with you... do you understand?"

"How are you doing today? Is work not going well?"

"I'm really enjoying my life right now. But when I talk to you, it reminds me of past wounds, and it just makes me feel extremely unhappy."

"You're the one who came here to cause trouble and made me feel bad too, okay? You better stop this now."

Two grown men were standing in front of the izakaya, a mountain of empty cans at their feet, muttering to themselves – a perfect example of obstructing business. The proof was that not a single new customer had come in since then. Oh right, we've booked the whole place. So what are we doing? Oh, a class reunion.

I mean, I remember we started by drinking canned beer, but now the ones piled up at my feet are all big, STRONG-style beer cans. If we switch to soju and soda later, we won't be able to drive. No, wait, we've been unable to drive for a long time.

"Besides, I'm the one who dislikes you more, so why am I being scolded by you for no reason? Let me complain a bit more."

"Besides, I'm the one who finds this baffling. I want to get along well with everyone, and I've always done so. Why... why did you dislike me from the very beginning..."

"Of course I hate it. Who would like a hypocrite who tries to manipulate others under the guise of 'cooperation'? Oh, and I hate your face. That face that looks like you're saying, 'I've never masturbated♪'"

"Wow, Hachiman, you've changed. You never used to make dirty jokes back in high school."

"I just don't have any friends, so no one will tell dirty jokes with me~ You have so many friends but you've never told a dirty joke, right? I can't accept this kind of pretentious thing either."

"What? So you actually want to make dirty jokes? Let me ask you, how many times a week do you masturbate?"

"Ah~ Ah~ Ladies and gentlemen~ There's a handsome guy in this anti-harassment society who keeps using the word 'masturbation'~?"

"Given your personality, you must know how to use '※', right? That's it~"

"That's a high school joke! Using outdated jokes and having so much fun with them, are you some kind of middle-aged man?!"

It's like a virgin high school student or an old man who frequents brothels... Well, I used to be the former, but I've never said anything so stupid before. I actually said it to this person who looks like he'd never make a dirty joke in his life, and at such a close distance that the smoke from our cigarettes would touch. This situation can no longer be explained by "because we were both drunk."

So what happened? Did Hayama and I unknowingly become someone we can truly connect with? Or are we both either virgin high school students or middle-aged men who frequent brothels? Wait, was this guy a virgin in high school?

That said, isn't our topic getting a bit repetitive? No, not really. It seems so.

"Ugh, that's enough. I'm going back. Who wants to stay in this awful place?"

"Didn't you say you couldn't stand staying in the shop anymore?"

"At least it's better than here!"

I don't know how many curses I uttered, but I staggered to my feet... Uh, I thought we were going to drink standing up, but somehow I ended up squatting on the ground. What a bunch of trash.

"Is that so? Then I'll let you off the hook today."

"Not just today. I will never drink with you again... and the same goes for class reunions, I'd rather die than attend another one."

I judged that the outcome would be a lose-lose situation, based on the fact that I couldn't bring myself to retort, "You're completely outmatched by me!" I threw down those words and turned away unsteadily.

I'm so drunk that no one will want to talk to me when I get back. I can just lie in a corner until everyone has left without me noticing, and then have the staff wake me up.

It feels so embarrassing and awkward; it's the worst type of case among drunken incidents, but there's nothing that can be done about it.

"No, not just class reunions. Don't drag me into pointless events, like parties after classmates' weddings."

"...You're not an invitee, you're an organizer..."

"Would it kill you to say less? I will absolutely not participate, and I will absolutely not be an organizer."

After all, the root cause of everything was accidentally bumping into this guy, so the only solution is to cut off the source.

In other words, as long as you never have anything to do with him again for the rest of your life, it's fine.

"...So, this is our final conversation."

Ye Shan sat on the ground, head down, muttering to himself.

His attitude and actions exuded a sense of loneliness, but it could also be interpreted as him simply being drunk, so I decided to give up trying to guess his true intentions.

"Yes... Oh, but I can attend your funeral. We won't need to talk then. Let's reunite after thirty years then."

"Thirty years...isn't that a bit short for my lifespan?"

"Then a hundred years."

How old do you plan to live to be?

"I'm a professional stay-at-home husband, so I don't feel any pressure and I can live a long time."

As always... until the very end, we didn't agree with each other. This is a perfect example of our final conversation since we almost never met and never got along.

"...You'll be an annoying guy until the very end."

"Same to you."

"Hmm... See you in a hundred years."

"Okay, bye."

So... this time we really said our last words and cut off all communication.

I walked back to the bustling class reunion venue with my back to Yeshan.

This guy will probably go back to the store like me later, but then we won't be able to talk or even look at each other anymore.

No matter how drunk he gets, Hayama will always stick to playing the role of the leader he always is.

No matter how much I want to connect with others, I will always insist on playing the role of a roadside stone.

The joyful class reunion ended with a speech from Hayama.

That guy will be dragged away by his henchmen to continue the party, while I'll return to where...was waiting for me...

"Alright~ Good luck everyone~!"

"Remember to bring your things!"

"Those who want to continue the party, come over here!"

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

As soon as I reached out my hand toward the shop door, it opened, and a crowd of people poured out amidst lively conversation.

"Oh, Hayato. And Hachiman is here too?"

"You guys have been smoking for a long time... uh, what's with all those empty cans? You're completely drunk."

"Hayato still hasn't returned, so shall we adjourn the meeting?"

Among the crowd, the three people in charge of leading the group noticed Ye Shan lying paralyzed by the roadside and walked over.

Five years ago, they were three particularly conspicuous idiots in the Hayama Group: Chad, Yamato, and Ooka... Oh, sorry, not Chad, but Tobe.

"The meeting's over? So quickly?"

"So fast... Hayato, look at the time? Isn't it almost time for the new day?"

"Huh? Is this for real? I didn't know that."

The Ministry of Revenue's bewildered attitude and response made me hurriedly take out my phone to check the time. At that moment, the time jumped to ○○:○○.

Huh? So what happened? I talked to this drunk guy for almost four hours? Was I drunk too? Uh, that's right.

If we were to write out all the uncollected dialogues between "XXX" in this short story, it would be several pages long.

"The Ministry of Revenue is now in your hands. I'll take the others to continue the game."

"I'm going to get their things. Thanks."

"What the hell? You guys just dumped these two drunkards on me and ran away?"

Hayama and I stared blankly as the three of them casually yet efficiently assigned tasks.

These three people, who couldn't make any decisions without Hayama during high school, have now grown up to be able to handle everything from the class reunion... no, at least the cleanup and taking people to the next room all by themselves, and they can also take care of Hayama (and me).

That unfamiliar scene made me realize the five-year gap.

Therefore, Hayama and I had the same expressions as a dementia-stricken grandfather watching his grandson grow up with a sense of感慨 (gǎnkǎi, a feeling of deep emotion or wistfulness). However, we are both dementia-stricken and will soon forget.

"Hayato, can you stand up?"

"Uh-huh……"

In comparison, how unreliable Ye Shan was, being helped up by the Ministry of Revenue and swaying as he stood up... Hmm, a five-year gap is truly cruel.

"Heave-ho... Hachiman, can you walk all by yourself?"

"Hmm, hmm, I can still manage."

"Then you can help me support Hayato from the other side..."

"don't want."

"Ah~ I thought so too~ You're just that kind of person~"

And so, the abandoned Ministry of Revenue exuded the aura of an older brother who "can't do anything with you," complaining while diligently taking care of Hayama, and not forgetting to care about me.

Thanks to him, the feeling of Hayama's style being lowered became stronger and stronger.

"You mean, you two seem to have had a lot of fun chatting this year."

"...How could that be?"

"...This was truly the most painful time."

I don't know if the Ministry of Revenue meant well, but their words sounded like they were mocking us, which made both Hayama and I reply with sour faces.

A sour and bitter taste spread deep in my throat, which I forced down. I needed to hurry to the convenience store to get some turmeric, or I'd be in big trouble. No, I didn't have time to worry about a hangover; this was an emergency.