My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Page 673

I looked again at the figure that seemed particularly small for some reason.

Then, a faint, mournful whisper, barely audible, drifted over from the distant chirping of cicadas.

"Sigh... marriage. Marriage. Sigh..."

—As the saying goes, marriage is the grave of life.

This is the story of a woman who bravely challenged this statement—Shizuka Hiratsuka (unmarried) and fought against it.

After a while, things made some progress.

"Hey, Hikigaya, let's say..."

After finishing some chores in the faculty office, the teacher said she had to go to the Service Society, so we walked to the society office together. On the way, she suddenly brought up this topic.

"This is just a fictional scenario; it has no connection to any real people or groups. It's just a hypothetical situation."

"What's wrong? Why are you insisting it's fictional..."

Her emphasis on it made it seem 100% true. What's going on now? Why are they starting to broadcast a documentary?

"Imagine there is a beautiful young woman here."

"Oh, a beautiful young woman."

"Yes. I live in Chiba and am a high school teacher."

"Uh, the premise of 'assumption' immediately jumps to another dimension. Being a teacher in Chiba clearly refers to you..."

Just then, a gust of wind blew by. Hiratsuka-sensei's iron fist sliced ​​through the air, leaving only a few centimeters from my cheek.

"……What did you say?"

"N-no, it's nothing..."

"That's good. I don't want my fists to be stained with blood either. A luminol reaction would be troublesome."

Your thought process, which assumes a murder will occur, almost scared the pants off me. You must know the term "luminol reaction" from watching Conan, right? Showing off trivia gleaned from comics is a bit...unconventional.

"Besides, do you know how many young female teachers there are in Chiba Prefecture? Do you have any evidence that this is about me?"

“…………”

There's no evidence, but judging from the context, it's obvious... Oh well, if she insists on using this as a hypothetical topic, I don't care.

"So, what happened next? What happened to that fictional female teacher, Ms. Kyoko?"

"Hmm. Well, how should I put it? Well, it's like this. Because of her age, she feels like she wants to get married more and more. Oh, but she's not in a rush, is she? She knows that as long as she lives her life normally, she should be able to get married. Really, it's just that the environment she's in makes it so hard to find a partner, so she's become too sensitive."

"No, how much space are you going to spend explaining for Kyoko? It's obviously about yourself, isn't it..."

Your opinion took hold from the very beginning. I can't pretend I didn't hear it.

"Hey, Hachiman, there are countless young female teachers in Chiba Prefecture who want to get married. You should probably refrain from talking nonsense."

“…………”

I said, with so many keywords added, the number of objects that meet the criteria is really limited.

It's okay.

"By the way, regarding her appearance, well, you could say she's quite beautiful. She also has a good figure, like a leopard exuding a seductive femininity."

"I knew it was obviously you..."

"W-Really?! You really think I'm that type too?!"

"Hey, why do you only obediently admit to what's in your favor? Deny it for a bit first! Be careful with the 'hypothesis' premise!"

Hiratsuka-sensei quickly confessed without being asked.

But this was ultimately a hypothetical topic, and the teacher continued.

The incident occurred a few weeks ago. She attended a wedding party and made the inappropriate move of being kicked out midway through the event.

I deliberately avoided asking for details. I felt that asking would make her angry.

Feeling hurt after being kicked out of the party, she suddenly had an idea.

"By the way, I wonder what it's like to participate in 'stay-at-home marriage'?"

Let me explain: "Otaku marriage" refers to a marriage activity party that is limited to otaku.

Although that concept is not as serious now, the negative impression of the "homebody" attribute... that is, the so-called sense of being unfulfilled and gloomy, is still deeply rooted in people's minds.

Open your doors to that type of person, seeking like-minded individuals who understand your interests as potential partners for a marriage-themed party. That's what homebody marriage is all about.

"She really likes certain types of comics and anime, and feels that she would definitely have a great time chatting with people in such situations."

Hmm, the "certain types of comics and anime" she mentioned are the works that Hiratsuka-sensei likes, so she probably meant shonen manga like "Super Heroes" and "The Swordsman".

"Ah—that's good. When male otaku meet women who like that kind of work, they'll probably start talking excitedly. Is there a problem?"

"that is……"

Hiratsuka-sensei began to explain with a worried expression.

The tragedy that occurred at the home-based wedding party.

"Hey, look! That person over there is dressed so formally, but it's just one person (laughs). Wow... (taunts)"

On the day of her home-based wedding, Hiratsuka-sensei was secretly mocked in this way.

The reason is simple. The hint can be found in the sarcastic remark above.

"Dressed up so formally," that's exactly why Hiratsuka-sensei lost.

On the day of the party, hoping to find a partner, she dressed up in her finest attire and headed to the venue.

She wore a bold, jet-black dress, paired with a short jacket in a subdued color, and a pearl necklace around her neck.

If I had to rank them, there were more women in the venue with a casual style, and Ms. Hiratsuka was probably one of the most dazzling women.

Looking back now, that was the beginning of the tragedy.

Why? The answer is simple. Hiratsuka-sensei doesn't understand the dynamics of men commonly known as otaku. No, while they're generally called otaku, in today's prevalent otaku culture, there are many types. The extroverted type—those who dress well, are sociable, and high-profile—also likely exists.

However, most of the men attending that day's "otaku wedding" didn't fall into this category. They were rather introverted, able to chat happily about their favorite anime or manga, but clueless about fashion and lacking in dating experience—to put it bluntly, they were rather gloomy otaku. And in their eyes, what was Hiratsuka-sensei like? A woman dressed beautifully in a super energetic evening gown, with outstanding looks and a great figure. Compared to themselves, that's definitely what they would think.

"That person is indeed very beautiful, but she's a bit unapproachable. I really don't dare to talk to her..."

Not surprising. I would have hesitated too if I were in that situation.

As a result, no man approached Ms. Hiratsuka, but even when she took the initiative, she didn't get the desired response and stood sadly in the middle of the venue.

Faced with such a tragic scene, she heard a woman's soft laughter coming from somewhere.

"Wow, so pitiful—dressed so beautifully but no one's with her (laughs). Poor thing, a guy comes along and starts chatting her up—"

"Seriously—she dressed up so seriously, it's hilarious. It's like, 'Hey, how much are you trying to hook up with guys?' I can't—no matter how pretty she is, it's totally unacceptable. Or rather, it's so embarrassing."

How shameful... How shameful... How shameful...

Faint jeers, accompanied by Showa-era anime-style special effects, reached my ears.

"...To be honest, she doesn't remember much after that. When she came to her senses, she was already lying in the entryway of her home."

"The entryway... is it because he's drunk..."

Adults seem to be creatures that depend on alcohol to survive. However, there are also shames that alcohol cannot wash away.

After that, what happened that day became a trauma for Ms. Hiratsuka, tormenting her every night.

Although I was angry at those people's sarcasm, I realized that I might have really been pushing myself too hard.

No, speaking of which, is it a mistake to attend a homebody wedding party if you can't find a partner at a regular wedding party? Does the intention of "I should be able to find a partner at a homebody wedding party" contain a disdainful view of homebodies, such as "Homebody wedding parties are lower-class than regular parties, so I can do it too"? When wearing a gorgeous dress, did you imagine yourself being praised above all the other women present and secretly chuckle to yourself? Is it because you're so afraid of being past your marriageable age and becoming a shameful woman who deserves such retribution?

"Hey, Hachiman, what do you think?"

At this point, Hiratsuka-sensei asked me with a somewhat vacant look in her eyes.

"Even though this is just hypothetical, what do you, a young person like yourself, think of this type of woman?"

"teacher……"

You're still insisting this is a hypothetical situation? Let's face reality...

I mean, how would I know? I can't handle this kind of disastrous failed job hunting experience. Why do I have to listen to my homeroom teacher talk about such a heavy topic? Don't come to me with this kind of thing, please submit it to the talk show Komachi (Note 6). Then I get a smug response like, "Job hunting party, huh? (laughs). Thanks for your hard work (bitter laugh). By the way, my husband earns 20 million yen a year."

"Hey, Hachiman. Don't be shy. Tell me your true thoughts." Seeing my silence, Hiratsuka-sensei approached me, almost in tears. "Is this kind of woman really so shameful? Unable to get married her whole life? What do you think?!"

"Wait, you're so close! Don't worry. That person will get married someday..."

"Hey, you're not just spouting nonsense, are you? Do you have the guts to swear to heaven and earth that you're telling the truth? If you dare lie, this little finger of judgment will be forged..."It will strangle your heart! (Note 7)

"This joke is so old..."

You've worked yourself to the bone, you're beyond saving. But I can't bring myself to say something so hurtful.

Indeed, the mistake she made at that "homebody marriage" event must have caused her immense harm. It was so bad that I can understand why Ms. Hiratsuka has been so dejected lately.

Unfortunately, even though she complained to me, a mere minor couldn't offer any comfort or advice. I had absolutely no idea what to say.

In short, just say some nice things to make her happy. On the surface.

"No, don't worry. Teacher is so beautiful, she'll meet a good boyfriend soon."

"Will you meet a good partner after that?"

However, this seemingly kind remark actually triggered her intolerance. Ms. Hiratsuka's eyes flashed with a fierce light as she grabbed my chin and said in a terrifying voice:

"Hachiman, then why haven't I been able to wait for that 'afterward' you mentioned? What's wrong with me?"

"So scary, so scary, so scary! Uh, if I had to describe it, this is it! This kind of place!"

He'll immediately resort to violence when he gets angry, and he likes action-packed anime, and his smoking style is a bit like that of an old man... Listing them all would be endless!

The extremely empty conversation continued for a while afterward.

"Ah...I really want to get married...!"

A sorrowful murmur suddenly escaped from Hiratsuka-sensei's lips. Perhaps, these words were heard by the great gods in heaven. The next moment.

"—Hahahaha! I heard your wish!!"

With a snap, the man lifted his heavy coat and appeared from around the corner of the corridor.

The short, stout figure, backlit by the light, wore mysterious wristbands, and his glasses, fogged up by the heat emanating from him, gleamed.

No, there's no mistake, that's him! ...Uh, who is that person? I don't quite remember.

"What? Material, wood base? Where did you start listening from?!"

The phrase "Hiratsuka-sensei was taken aback by his sudden appearance" reminded me of something.

Oh, right, Zaimokuza-kun. This information is so useless, it made my brain subconsciously forget it. Or rather, I'm about to forget it again. So, who are you?

"Hehe, of course I listened from beginning to end. They didn't even notice my overflowing 'aura,' it seems my optical camouflage...""Your condition is excellent today too. Isn't that right, Hachiman?"

"Shut up. You've only been on stage for three seconds and you're already making so much noise... Why are you eavesdropping? I'll sue you for invasion of privacy, I'm serious."

"Hoo hoo hoo, Hachiman. No need for such formalities, my formidable foe (friend). You didn't even call out to me in such an emergency; you're being too polite."

Who's going to call you? No matter how urgent the situation, I'm not calling you. I mean, don't so easily ignore what others say. I was clearly radiating an aura of "Ugh, a difficult guy has arrived...", but Zaimokuza just smiled smugly and declared:

"No need to worry! Now that I, the Sword Saint General, have arrived, you can rest assured! Hiratsuka-sensei!

"W-What are you doing? Zaimuzuta, what are you talking about...?"

He ignored the bewildered question from Hiratsuka-sensei. Zaimokuza continued:

"I, Yoshiteru Zaimokuza, am not the kind of man who would stand idly by in a situation like this. Hachiman, I'll help too. Don't worry, as long as we work together, there's no enemy we can't defeat! Hahahahahahahaha‼"

"Hmm, so...?"

What nonsense are you spouting?

...Upon seeing this, I lifted my gaze from the paper.

What's going on? I feel like I was forced to read a really disgusting article. What is it? Ah, is it garbage? Yeah, it's garbage. Just take the garbage and throw it away, sort it first and then throw it away.

"Hey—! Wait, Hachiman—!!"

I was about to tear this paper, which was almost trash, into real shreds when the loud voice of the person who wrote this article, Zaimokuza, echoed throughout Salia.

"W-what's wrong? What's wrong with my proposal? At least say a few words about your thoughts, that would be proper etiquette, wouldn't it?"

"Well, this is my most honest opinion. I'm a man who talks the talk but walks the walk. I'm a man who will do a good job of sorting trash and saving the planet."