My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

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Isshiki raised his index finger to his chin, thinking as he spoke:

"I'm thinking of having the student council organize a graduation or enrollment celebration around next spring. Don't you think it would be great to have a big event? It's the school's money anyway, it would be a waste not to spend it—?"

"Wow, how could this person say such a thing... The reason they gave for planning this event is utterly despicable..."

The overly casual reason left Komachi speechless, and Isshiki pouted.

"It's okay—our school is a public school, and it's funded by taxes, so it's my money anyway!"

"It's our money..."

Yukinoshita looked slightly confused, while Yuihama gave a wry smile. Only Tobe nodded frantically, as if to say, "As expected of Iroha." You're quite used to it!

Let's leave that aside for now; the timing of organizing an event is a rather complicated issue.

"Oh... spring... if we're going to hold it, it would probably be better to do it during graduation season."

"Yeah?"

"Well, there's something to it when you enroll..."

I gave a vague answer and tilted my head in bewilderment.

"why?"

"Because freshmen tend to go too far when participating in those kinds of activities. And most of them end up embarrassing themselves. If you embarrass yourself right after entering university, things will be really tough for you later on."

The beginning of university is the most sensitive period. There's nothing worse than falling down right from the start. At this time, you've just joined a group, and the friendships that form your lifeline haven't yet taken solid shape. Even so, you're not yet very committed to the school itself. It's quite possible that you won't be able to tolerate a moment of humiliation and will become one of the fastest groups to successfully drop out. I understand.

However, it seems like we know a little too much.

"Incredibly convincing!"

Yui nodded vigorously.

"Right? It's the same with self-introductions when you first enroll. If you accidentally make an awkward silence, it'll be really bad."

"That's super important! What's it called again? It was at the festival just now, the opening remarks when you appear? It's definitely super important."

The Minister of Revenue pointed at me and nodded in agreement.

Comparing your opening remarks to those of a famous singer performing at a festival with your self-introduction at school is a little embarrassing, but the key is to grab someone's attention.

Hearing this conversation, Komachi, who was about to enroll at the school, looked a little melancholy.

"Komachi lacks confidence..."

"Really? I don't think Komachi needs to worry."

Yuihama looked at Komachi with surprise.

That's right. With Komachi's level of social skills, introducing herself should be a piece of cake... What is she worried about...?

I looked at her with a puzzled expression. Komachi's eyes were filled with tears as she nestled against Yuihama.

"No, Komachi lacks confidence, so please have Yui-neechan demonstrate! Walk the festival route! Just like the idol from before!"

"Huh, huh?"

She suddenly made a strange request, which startled Yuihama.

Hmph, so that's what Komachi was after. Infected by the festival atmosphere, she wanted to play a prank, huh... I had just guessed that when Isshiki saw this and also grinned slyly.

"Ah, that's great. Then please introduce yourself, senior."

"Yes, Yui-hama-san seems to be very good at this kind of thing. How about we demonstrate it for her?"

Yukinoshita covered her mouth with her hand, chuckled softly, and joined in the prank. Tobe even clapped and cheered, creating an atmosphere that was impossible to refuse.

"Huh... um... I understand... Let's follow the festival route, just like the idol from before..."

Yuihama frowned, closed her eyes, and fell into deep thought. She kept talking to herself, as if she was recalling the self-introduction of her idol who had just performed on stage.

Soon after, perhaps having conjured up an image in her mind, Yuihama opened her eyes wide, revealed a bright smile, and, accompanied by body language, shouted with great enthusiasm:

"Everyone—! Hi-lo~! Say hi-lo with me!"

Then, she put her hand to her ear, waiting for a response.

Everyone was waiting, so we had to respond. Hearing the loud "Hi-lo!", Yuihama nodded contentedly and waved in our direction.

"Thank you everyone—! Always cute, sometimes sexy, and my only signature color is pink! I'm Yi-yi, the group's greeting representative!"

She adorably touched her cheek, then sexily placed one hand on her hip, spinning her hand in the air as a salute to us. This idol's execution of the move was ridiculously high.

"Wow, that's impressive, this person is really strong—I mean it."

Ishiki, unsure of his perspective, offered an applause of admiration. This was followed by strange, exaggerated cheers and deliberately low-voiced support.

"Wow! I'm so excited!"

"Yiyi—!"

"There are two otaku mixed in there..."

The two otaku—Tobe and Komachi—reacted with such otaku vibes that Isshiki wanted to avoid them like the plague. Especially Komachi, with her contorted face and gruff voice, whom Isshiki looked at with utter contempt.

She turned to look at me and asked, "Are these two people sick?" But I didn't have time to pay attention to her.

"...Eh, eh, wait, eh, I can't take it anymore, I'm going to die, it's so cute when I can't take it anymore..."

I couldn't help but whisper in a very soft voice.

Wait, wait a minute. What was that just now? Wait, I can't take it anymore. Huh. I wouldn't be surprised if she officially debuted anytime soon. That's right, that's right, this is what people who attend idol concerts want to see. I'm going to rave about this!

I was talking to myself at lightning speed, and everyone's gaze was fixed on me as if they had seen something disgusting.

"The third otaku..."

"No, these guys are hopeless"—Isshiki looked like he had given up on treatment, shifting his gaze to Yukinoshita and pleading for her help.

"Hi is better than just saying hello."

"There's even a producer..."

However, Isshiki's expectations were dashed. Yukinoshita crossed her arms and adopted a producer's attitude, nodding frequently and offering her opinions. Yui listened attentively, just like an idol.

"Hmm—but 'Hi' is a greeting..."

"People hearing it for the first time might not realize it's a greeting, right? Those of us who are used to it will understand, but others might think you're making strange noises or something."

"So that's what Yukino thinks!?"

"Ah, of course it's a cute sound, a very cute sound."

"The escort was terrible!"

Yukinoshita smiled innocently, but Yuihama was right, she really wasn't good at protecting her... "Her calls are cute," you'd only hear that kind of advertising in a pet store's bird section...

Even Isshiki seemed unable to bear it any longer, and shrugged helplessly.

"Yeah, that was Yukino-senpai's fault just now. Why don't you try it yourself?"

“Eh!?”

She said it casually, and Yukinoshita froze on the spot. Upon closer inspection, she saw an evil smile on Isshiki's lips.

"Ah, I want to see, I want to see! Wow—applause!"

"Let's give them a round of applause."

Ignoring the bewildered Yukinoshita, Yuihama and Komachi clapped their hands in perfect unison, expressing, "We're so excited!" Yukinoshita, having already joined in the commotion and even adopted a producer's demeanor, seemed unable to refuse.

"Huh, huh... Festival route?... Like the idol festival route?"

Snow fell silent, muttering to herself and groaning in her hands.

Hey, hey, hey, this is going too far. Don't give Yukinoshita too much of a headache. She's not good at handling these kinds of situations... I can't bring myself to stop them, because I'm kind of curious to see it too.

Faced with everyone's expectations, Yukino lowered her head in distress, quickly fixing her bangs. Then she closed her eyes, exhaled a small breath, and slowly gathered her emotions. Her cheeks gradually flushed, and soon after, she opened her slightly watery eyes.

(Illustration 009)

"Goodnight, everyone! Long black hair is proof of intelligence... My representative color is melancholic blue. I'm Yukino, the cool representative of the group..."

She uttered a greeting that sounded like a tribute to Yui, tossed her glossy black hair, and smiled while placing her hand on her chest. This idol's gesture was so adorable that it couldn't be described as cool; it concealed a hint of warmth.

"Whoa whoa……"

Snow's self-introduction, which made her blush to the roots of her ears, quietly ignited our passion.

Everyone was speechless, engrossed in watching. Yukinoshita seemed to take the silence as a lack of reaction, her shoulders trembling. Then, she stared at us with tearful eyes, pursed her gently bitten lips, and slumped her head helplessly.

"...I want to die."

Her murmurs were intermittent. Seeing her tender and vulnerable appearance, everyone suddenly came to their senses. I let out a "Ugh!" as a sharp pain shot through my heart.

"No, no, it's not that great!"

"So cute! I love it!"

The Ministry of Revenue clapped generously, and Yuihama hugged Yukinoshita tightly.

Despite being confused by Yuihama's behavior, Yukinoshita finally breathed a sigh of relief, her expression relaxing. She squirmed in shame, but still managed a shy smile.

"Yes, is it..."

"Yeah! I was thinking, 'This woman is ruthless, she's really despicable!'"

"Wow, this person has terrible taste in compliments. But it's really cute! Right, brother!"

Isshiki's excessive praise and Komachi's voice calling me all sounded like they were coming from afar.

Komachi looked at me with surprise as I remained silent.

"……elder brother?"

However, no one answered her calls.

All that exists here is a silent corpse. Komachi gently shakes the corpse's shoulder.

There was no response. It was just a corpse.

"She's not breathing..."

Hachiman Hikigaya. He was seventeen years old.

The cause of death was being cute.

"Brother, brother—!"

Komachi let out a sorrowful cry and shook my body violently.

"……ah!"

Thanks to her, I finally managed to come to my senses.

Thank goodness, seeing the scene of the Supreme Being almost killed me. My grandparents, still full of energy, waved goodbye to me from this side of the Sanzu River...it was practically a funeral procession...

That was close! If I died every time something like this happened, I wouldn't have enough lives. Is my life going to be like Spelunker's? (Note: A dungeon crawler game. The protagonist is so weak that he dies if he falls from a height roughly equal to his own.)

I sighed and wiped the sweat from my forehead, pretending nothing had happened.

"...What were you just talking about?"

"Self-introduction upon enrollment."

Seeing how flustered I was, Isshiki was speechless for a moment, then offered me an explanation.

I regained my composure and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Ah—that. Self-introductions shouldn't be too long; it's best to keep them short."

I spoke eloquently, and Komachi nodded enthusiastically.

"I see. What's the reason?"

"The reason is simple... talkative people with social anxiety are the most annoying."

Social anxiety disorder doesn't specifically refer to people who can't speak. This term is used to describe most people who are not good at socializing. However, there are also those who talk a lot even when no one asks them, yet they seem to enjoy it immensely. And there are different types of talkative people: some are simply oblivious to social cues, leading them to say things they shouldn't; some are arrogant individuals who love to share their experiences and flaunt their superiority; and some are clumsy people who become talkative when nervous.

Compared to a talkative, socially awkward person, a radio that can't hear anything and is about to break down is actually better... I mean, if you can't hear anything at all, it's not just about to break down, it's already broken, right?

After hearing what I said, Yukinoshita nodded, seemingly agreeing, and a gentle smile appeared on her face.

"That was a pretty good self-introduction. Next time, it would be even better to say your name first."

"Thank you for your suggestion. Does anyone have a mirror?"